Arrived at daycare to pick up Xander and the lady was giving him puffs! Although she said "I gave it to him because I knew he wouldn't eat it." YEAH RIGHT! Ugh...
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Report it. That isn't acceptable.
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Then why give it to him? Not much of a reason...and so annoying!
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@Adira: Is this a home daycare or a center? If it's a home daycare, I'd tell her something along the lines of "If we can't make sure that Xander is ONLY getting what I send, I'm going to need to find somewhere else to take him." If it's a center, I'd take the same message to the director.
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@tinyperson: Her reason was so he could practice his pincer grasp...
@MaisyMay: It's a center. Bleh. I told her that we weren't feeding him those yet and that we were STILL just introducing him to solids. And I also said "You're not feeding him anything ELSE, are you??" I should talk to the director, but I'm so non-confrontational... ugh, I feel sick.
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Ditto the above on reporting! Not cool.
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No you totally need to report. Unacceptable. This is a direct defiance of instructions from the parent! The director couldn't possibly have anything to say except "I'm sorry and I'll handle it". You are absolutely right to be upset.
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Yup. Report it. This is twice now. How are they doing their job if they ignore direct requests from the parents?
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@Adira: talk to director, who knows what else they are "sneaking" him when you aren't there. So unacceptable thinking they know better than you!
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@Adira: Non-confrontational or not, it seems like you need to speak up especially since this is not the first issue that you've had. I would rather be uncomforable saying something, then letting it fester and continue.
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That's not okay! I agree, mention it to the director.
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What on earth?!?!?! I would report that. Sorry you have to deal with this!
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I agree with all of the above
report it!
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You need to report this. My gosh what if he had an allergy?? Totally unacceptable. I would be looking for another center.
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Unfortunately, you can't be non-confrontational when it comes to your child. They defied your wishes, twice. Not cool. It's time to speak to the director and make a formal complaint.
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I agree. My LO has allergies and I would be yelling up a storm. If they don't listen to you about this, what else are they going to ignore you about?
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@Adira: If you don't want to speak to the director, what about email? It ought to be nearly as effective.
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@MaisyMay: Oooh, THAT I could do! Thanks for that suggestion!!
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@Adira: Anytime!
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You should really learn to be confrontational for stuff like this. This will not be the first time you have to advocate for him!!
THEY are in the wrong
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I'm typically a non confrontational person but when it comes to my child's health and safety I do not hesitate to speak up. If you really don't think you can communicate the message to the director have your husband do it.
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I am non-confrontational, too, except when it comes to my baby. I would absolutely say something...this is not ok.
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Yeah you need to confront! I would be very upset about this!
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I guess, in regards to confrontation, that I'm afraid that if I say something, the teacher will be upset with me and maybe not treat Xander as well because of it. I mean, I don't think she'd be abusive or anything, but maybe a little more neglectful...
Is that a concern that I should have or am I being ridiculous?
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@Adira: If a teacher would react like that, there may be a much bigger underlying problem. Has she done anything to make you think that she would treat X differently if you complained?
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@Adira: Honestly, if you even think that the teacher's won't treat Xander the same, then you need to find another center. You need to talk to the director, DO NOT email them. You have told them numerous times that you were starting solids at home and waiting till he was more comfortable before starting them there. Then you told them to not give him puffs. They did it again. Wrong on so many levels.
It doesn't matter if the teacher gets upset. Her job is to take care of your son and do what you ask. Not what she thinks he wants to eat.
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@Smurfette: yes, this. A good director would want the problem brought to their attention and would not treat Xander any differently because of it. It's in her best interest to learn of any possible problems, so do what you gotta do.
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@Adira: You don't want your son there if that is how they are going to react. You aren't asking for anything extreme. My son ONLY eats what we send and he is 2 years old. You pay them to take care of your child. It is YOUR baby not theirs. They can practice pincher grip with toys.
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Oh hell no. Bring it to the director ASAP. Your kid, your rules.
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@brownie: I do know that I won't be able to control his food forever at this daycare. They provide lunch and snacks and I knew that (and actually, it was one of the reasons we chose them), BUT I assumed that while he was a baby and wasn't eating lots of solids, I'd be in charge of what he ate while he was there. Maybe I'm mistaken?
You guys are convincing me. I'll try to work up the nerve to talk to the director tomorrow! Although she's not always there - she's the director of two sister daycares so some days she's at the other one.
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Definitely talk to the director. I'd be wondering what else they are giving him during the day. Or get DH to do it when he drops ax off in the morning.
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@ALV91711: I did ASK today if they were giving him anything else and she said no and she implied she was only giving him the puff to practice his pincer grasp and that she knew he wouldn't eat it. I reiterated that we weren't giving him puffs YET and that we were still just introducing purees to him and she was just all "Oh really? Okay."
Unfortunately, I don't think Hubs can really do much. The main women that watch Xander aren't there when Hubs does drop-offs, so he usually just interacts with one of the toddler teachers who watches the infants in the morning until the infant teachers arrive.
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@Adira: It's definitely worth tracking her down and talking with her tomorrow. The daycare teacher is clearly not listening to you, and her boss needs to deal with that (and part of dealing with that is making sure that Xander isn't treated any differently after you report). Ultimately, we are in charge of our kiddos as their parents, and sometimes that includes the awkward confrontation here and there. But it's the right thing to do and best for your baby, so don't feel one ounce bad about it! Go get 'em tomorrow.
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You must speak to the director. The teacher knew (and knows - pincher practice is a lame excuse!) she is doing something you don't want.
As for being concerned that she may not treat X as well, I am a teacher (and previously taught daycare) and a good teacher would never do that. However, this teacher is showing some other signs of not being a "good" teacher, so if it was me I would mention that concern to the director as well. I'd ask that she deal with this in an anonymous way that addresses feeding/parenting requests in a broad way.
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@Adira: I was just thinking about this again...definitely talk to the director first and then maybe follow up with an email. It's always good to have things in writing - "as per our discussion today, blah blah blah".
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We had issues when we first were introducing LO to solids. We wanted to wait until she was six months, and at 4.5 months or so the daycare teachers asked if we planned on starting soon. We said no and we were waiting for six months, which is when we started offering, although she wasn't really interested. Then since we told them we were offering, they started pushing for us to send food into school. We resisted because we wanted to be the ones to intro foods and they pushed some more. I finally asked if we could sit down with the teacher and discuss our philosophy on introducing food all around so we could feel like we were on the same page. That made all the difference and things went much better from that point on. Good luck, I'm sorry you are dealing with this!
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I can completely understand how frustrated you are. It's no one's right except for the parents' to make a decision on what a baby should be eating at daycare.
I would also speak to the director. It may not feel like such a confrontation when you're speaking to a third party, in a way.
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Honestly, I'd think about switching daycares.
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Are there any other daycare options near you? I am so annoyed for you! They seem to have totally disregarded your wishes, multiple times.
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@JoyfulKiwi: That's a good idea about asking her to handle it anonymously!
@mamabolt: Your teacher sounds like mine. Mine was SHOCKED when I said we weren't introducing solids until six months because apparently she introduced solids to her kids at six WEEKS. And they definitely have been pressuring me to start solids or to let them do it and I've refused! UGH.
@RubyCali: There are other daycares, but the really good ones are too expensive or have long waiting lists. This was our favorite... And it's really just this ONE teacher. I think once Xander's out of this room (or she leaves), I won't have this issue. Or once he's actually eating solids there too, it won't be an issue. It's just FOOD that we butt heads over (Xander's the only baby on BM there and they keep pressuring me to send more since all the FF babies eat more oz, so they think he's hungry even though he's not).
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61 comments