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We accepted all visitors. But I would just be honest with them. Say you're not feeling up to visitors, you'd like for them to visit later when you're home and settled. If they don't listen to you, tell the nurses and they'll be the bad guys for you.

The nurses can help keep people from you. Write an explicit list of who is allowed to visit with you. I specifically said NO visitors. My family doesn't live close so it wasn't an issue. You won't want the visitors right away.

Another thing we did to keep people informed through a Facebook event. Then anyone who wanted the play by play could get it but it wasn't just on the wall. We really liked that. It may help if they get information and you can put on there that you don't want visitors until after you get home and they can get to you through there.

Yikes! People were really respectful about visiting and didn't come/text or call us until we contacted them!

I'd say to let your siblings know ahead of time that you don't want extended family to come - if they choose to tell anyone else, they need to ALSO tell that you don't want extra visitors at the hospital.

I felt sorry for one nurse at a hospital - I'd been at another friend's birth, so I knew that the mom had complete say over who got to come in and when. And the dad/grandpa was getting belligerent about being let in. Look, Gramps, your daughter wants some time alone with her kid (and maybe husband) and didn't want to deal with telling you to your face, so stop yelling at the nurses.

I am having my husband tell the people that I don't want there beforehand. I do not want his parents there.
In addition, I will tell the nurses I do not want his parents there and give them a picture of them, just in case.
I'm hardcore.

I would also enlist the help of the nurses.

Personally, I would be kinda sad if no one wanted to come visit me!

Tell the nurses to run interference. Tell your siblings not to blab. If they can't guarantee that then they don't get told. Does your entire family know which hospital? If they don't then keep that info to yourself. It's your birth process, you have the right to tell people to get lost ( nicely of course!), it shouldn't be about hurting your visitor's feelings.

Our hospital has crazy tight security and doesn't allow any visitors until you've been transferred to your postpartum room. Then visitors have to register with the guard and aren't even allowed into the elevators (they lock the buttons so you can't even try to get to the L&D floor!) unless they have a PHOTO badge that they have to stand in a huge line to register for. The only children allowed on the floor are siblings of newborns. It's crazy annoying for visitors, but really nice that random people aren't wandering the halls of the L&D floor.

We also accepted all visitors and actually got over 40 visitors total... haha... and we kept having visitors after we went home too. We were way too excited to show off our baby

No visitors allowed in l&d or recovery room here- and in pp room, it's during visiting hours only, no children, only a specified number of people at a time. I have to say its one thing I never thought about until reading about it here- we didn't even go to see my nephews until they were brought home as SIL felt too unwell. Do people really have no concept that you might need time to recover, rest, and cuddle your baby in privacy? I feel mad on your behalf!
You need to get your mums on side- put the word out that you don't want any visitors until you actually invite them in. Full stop.

We're not going to tell anyone we're at the hospital until after LO is born (that's the plan anyway). Then we're only going to tell parents and siblings and ask that they call ahead before coming to visit at the hospital. Maybe tell your family to spread the word to others that you'd prefer visitors after you're home so you can get your rest at the hospital?

I think telling your siblings that you don't want other visitors might work. If other extended family members stop by I would rely on the nurses to send them home. I've never thought of this issue but I can't imagine having to deal with dozens of visitors when you're trying to bond with your baby!

Yep. We had that happen. She was born at like 4am on Sunday. By the afternoon we had lots of visitors. Luckily I was obviously tired so they didn't stay long.

@Lozza: that is a fantastic idea! kind of like a day-of coordinator, for baby deliveries or a maid of honor. When people ask when they can visit, you can just give them her phone number.

My cousin had a similar experience when she had her baby last month. We have a large somewhat pushy family and she made it known that no one would be allowed at the hospital until she gave the ok. She texted me at one point letting me know she was in labor and at the hospital. The next text i got was that she had her baby through Emergency C-Section. Later she told me that she was really scared and made her fiance call his and her parents to get over there asap in case something went wrong. Her mom almost didnt make it to the hospital before the baby was born.

Even now that she's home for almost 2 weeks shes still limiting how many come over and when. I don't blame her she having trouble with breast feeding and is desperate to get her on a schedule.

Can you let your parents and siblings know that if they are going to tell people you have gone to the hospital to please also state that you and your DH prefer not to have visitors?

I don't get why everyone wants to come to hospital anyway. I think it's seriously rude. Where I live in Canada the hospitals ONLY allow the grandparents to visit and one singular designated 'other' who is permitted to be there for the labour/delivery (other than the DH/Partner).

Maybe you can contact the hospital in advance and ask if they have a policy?