Hellobee Boards

I think medical risks and benefits of ERC vs VBAC are better discussed with your healthcare provider than a stranger on the internet with no medical training or expertise.

@MsMini: amen sista!

And I bet when one does discuss their options with their doctor none of them will be compared to drunk driving.

@MamaMoose: I was told choosing a vbac was me choosing to kill my baby (by more than one doctor, some not even obgyns), never given the information of risks associated with erc (immediate or long term), and was told that the only way I'd get a vbac in this city was if I walked through the hospital doors with the baby between my legs... they still prepped me for surgery & took me to the OR only stopping because I pushed P out unassisted as they did it.

You'd be surprised what providers will say to persuade an expectant mom into a decision. And while I completely agree with MsMini, that moms should talk to their providers about their options, that simply isn't always an option for moms that come to medical communities that refuse to give options.

I'm still trying to figure out how this became a vbac vs erc debate though.

@runsyellowlights, I'm convinced you have seen the worst doctors in America. The kind who shouldn't have graduated medical school and end up working in some hokey clinics somewhere. Because the things doctors tell you are pretty unbelievable and unprofessional.

And, frankly, this whole thread turned into a debate once you used inflammatory language...

jinx @looch!

@looch: @blackbird: I wish I was joking about the providers I've had run-ins with here! It wasn't like this when I lived elsewhere but here it's ridiculous! I have met other moms from elsewhere that have had similar issues, but they aren't as common & generally they have other options. The ladies here on HB really are a minority breed when it comes to the research/information involved in birth/parenting choices & provider options in online communities... you get out there elsewhere & there really are women that choose things like cesareans JUST BECAUSE their friends/sister/etc had smoother recoveries than their friends that had vaginal deliveries. I don't know anyone that wouldn't think that was incredibly irresponsible & yes, some doctors are willing to do them (our local *primary* cesarean rate is close to 50% & some states have very similar rates with some cities having even higher rates).

I wasn't asking when it became a debate, rather when it became about *erc vs. vbac* considering I think regardless of what # cesarean is on the table of choice, making it not based on the information is what is irresponsible.

@runsyellowlites: but three posters just told you that it became a debate about vbac vs. repeat c-sections when you compared c-sections to driving while intoxicated. I just went back and reread the posts and I agree with them. How is that unclear?

Ugh. The OP specifically said she didn't want this to turn into a debate. Can't we just respect her and stay on topic? We've beaten c-sections vs. vaginal births to a DEATH on here and I feel like everyone knows everyone else's stance.

I can't really answer the OP's question since I had a medically necessary emergency c-section. Recovery was tough but there is no telling how it would have compared to a vaginal birth, had I had one. Also, I spent the next 3 weeks in the NICU and couldn't just take it easy at home which I think added to the difficult recovery. ETA: Not that you can really "take it easy" at home with a newborn regardless of how you birthed your child.

@junebugmama: I had a csextion and had a very easy recovery.

I had an emergency c section and may have to have another if I have another baby. I definitely needed pain meds, but didn't have any problems with breastfeeding positions.

@stargal: I hope you don't think that I was saying it was "less" of anything that wasn't my position at all. Just in my own experience, the majority of the time it doesn't seem "easier".

I am in the camp though that elected c-sections are reckless.

I am going to post based on the original question because stuff got hot in heerrr....

I chose to have a vaginal birth because my mom had them and my grandma and it seemed natural and right.
But in the end my doctors chose to give me a c-section and here's the thing... very often for a mama who gets a c-section when she wanted a vaginal birth, there is a lot of guilt and trauma and embarrassment.

I find this to be true even with mamas who have had emergency c sections, planned c sections and VBACS... having an emergency (or urgent) c-section is surprising, traumatic, and can mess with your emotions even if that same mama had a successful planned c-section based on medical need and feels fine with that c-section.

There is a different level of pride involved in having a VBAC than having a vaginal delivery without prior c section.

So... there is no real way to decide which is right for you. Always talk with your medical provider--get a second opinion if you feel like you aren't being listened to.

And don't regret your birth* because DAMMIT if you are well enough to post here then you are FREAKING AWESOME and deserve to be acknowledged for making it through pregnancy and birth into motherhood!

(And if you do regret your birth experience, it's OK, I do, too, but STOP IT because you're a great parent!)

@pastemoo: So true! I remember after my c-section, my midwife asked if I wanted to talk someone or if she should connect me with a counselor in my area. I was confused until she explained just how many of her patients who end up with a c-section they didn't plan on end up being totally depressed and guilty and blaming them self about their birth experience. I didn't feel that way, but with the way our culture acts and the unkind things people say about c-sections, I can see why it happens.

Sorry OP I know you didn't mean for this to turn into a debate...but unfortunately I've noticed a pattern that a debate seems to happen whenever anyone on HB has anything positive to say about their C-section experience.

I had a planned c-section for my twins. Of course I would have liked to give birth vaginally, but I do not regret my decision because I have two healthy happy babies. After discussing things with my doctor, we decided c-section was the way to go for us.

I know you asked about bees who have had both a c-section and a vaginal birth. I have only had a vaginal birth, so I can only comment on that, but I did want to share my experience. I had a Pitocin – induced, med free natural birth. I had third-degree tears including internal, labial tears, and a tear through my anal sphincter. I had to have a blood transfusion, an hour of stitches, and several months later two treatments of silver nitrate to burn off overgrown scar tissue. My recovery led to minor postpartum depression, as I thought I would never be normal again. My recovery interfered with my early bonding with my baby, as I was barely able to walk for two weeks. In the early weeks I woke up crying in the middle of the night saying to my husband we can never have another baby again. My labor experience and birth was an amazing one, however the recovery was beyond anything I ever could've imagined. Five months out, and I am finally coming to terms of my birth experience. However, it does make me consider what my next labor and delivery would be like, if we ever have another. Both my midwife and the OB who performed my follow-up treatments have mentioned that there is the possibility I could ask for an elective C-section, considering the tearing and recovery I went through. Obviously, my particular situation is rare, and I know in most instances, with an uneventful vaginal birth, a vaginal birth would probably be preferable, medically speaking. However having been through what I went through, the idea of trying to give birth vaginally again is still traumatizing. Considering the emotional and physical implications my vaginal birth had on me, I could never ever understand the comparison of choosing to have a C-section in the future akin to that of choosing to drive drunk.

@maybebaby: @grizz: thank you for sharing your birth experiences. I truly feel for both of you. But I'm so glad your babies are happy and healthy.

@grizz: oh my god, momma. Your post really brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

@deerylou: preach.

@maybebaby: @grizz: thank you for sharing your stories. You both are incredible women and exemplify the strength and perseverance of mothers.

@wonderstruck: That is really awesome that she asked you about that! I wish someone had asked me. How sweet! And also awesome that you were so confident and not phased by your birth experience. You are tough.

@junebugmama: After my C-section I didn't take pain meds for 3 days and then realized the ibuprofen would help with the swelling/inflammation, so I took it for a week till my feet returned to foot size. I had a lot of trouble with breastfeeding but none of it was based on the position and pressure on the incision (thank you Boppy pillow!--yes I made my husband leave the hospital, go home and pick it up!)

@maybebaby: @grizz: Thank you for sharing.
I think that sometimes people forget that birth is a matter of life and death. Life--well that part is obvious. Death--people forget how much death used to be commonplace in birth. As controversial as c-section rates for a hospital can be, c-sections can and do save lives. Not all c-sections are so emergent but it would be nice if there was less stigma on c-sections.

In think the biggest issue here is that birth is not a been-there-done that experience. No matter what experience(s) you had, there is no way that you can understand why other mothers (and/or their doctors/care teams) had the birth that they had.

So... if I could choose? I mean, in the moment of my c-section I did not want it but at that point it was too late. If I did not give my consent I or my son might not be here today. So.... if the rest of my labor went the way it did, I would get the c-section again!

And for the next baby? I want to plan for a VBAC and then mentally prepare for the fact that it might not happen. And then if I have to have a scheduled c-section, I just pray that I can be at peace with it before it happens. And I pray that everyone comes home healthy.

Because dammit, I've got the baby rabies again.

I had a vaginal birth, 32 stitches, and was in pain for about 5-6 weeks. I absolutely NEEDED pain meds afterwards. For at least a week. I cried every time I sneezed for two months. Recovery wasn't fun. I always just assumed that having a baby is rough and that every woman goes through a similar recovery stage. I didn't think what I went through was "worse" than most vaginal delivery recoveries.

Either way, c section or vaginal, I don't think having a baby is necessarily a pleasant experience. It hurts. Recovery hurts. Whatever you need to do to lessen your trauma, increase the chances your baby arrives healthy, and make yourself most comfortable (especially mentally and emotionally) is what is best for you.