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Holy eff! I dont have any experience but I would tell them to get used to it if they are running a daycare. I am sorry they told you this.

That is really weird. Isn't that something that every child goes through? Unless there is something going on during the day that it upsetting her and the teacher's don't see it.

My nephew was kicked out of day care at 2.5. But it was cause of his behavior, kicking and hitting other kids, and he wouldn't stop. But he doesn't have any issues at the new day care.

Hhmmmhh. I would want a lot more information. Is she just crying at drop off? How long is it lasting? Maybe there needs to be a different strategy for drop off. But the comment about her monopolizing the helper suggests to me that she is upset most of the day. If this is a constant issue I would want to know why my child was so unhappy there. Theoretically a daycare provider should be able to redirect and help a child cope. Lastly, your daycare providers threat suggests to me that she sees your sweet girl as an annoyance and I would have serious reservations about leaving my child with someone with that attitude.

@MamaMoose: Totally agree!

@bunnylove08: Sorry your lo is hating daycare so much..

That is so strange...

It sounds like maybe she would benefit from you doing a more transitional drop-off? When J is dropped off at the nursery at church, we have to go in with him and show him all the fun toys and kids he can play with, and once he's playing we say goodbye, kiss him and leave and he does fine. But if we did a drop and run he would cry! I wonder if maybe your LO needs that?

I actually have a friend who's son was "kicked out" of two different daycares for this. Once separation anxiety hit he was basically inconsolable whenever he was there and they said they just didn't have the man power to deal with it. She ended up staying home with him full time

Okay, just saw your other post "drop and run". Honestly, i find that it's a lot harder for babies to transition when they attend daycare on a part-time basis, because they can't get into that routine quickly. It'll take longer than 2 weeks, and i hope the director will understand.

Whoa, not cool daycare! Most kids go through "difficult" periods of social anxiety, parental separation anxiety, etc. Dealing with these periods seems like something they should be used to, and should be ready to handle. My LO was a dream in the infant room, but when she transitioned to the Toddler room, she started crying HARD at every drop-off. Our daycare has worked with us to get LO comfortable with the new room/kids/teachers - and even when LO is screaming and sobbing at dropoff, when I pick her up they are always extremely positive and keep telling me how normal this is, and that LO has a great day after we leave, etc. I know that LO gets extra attention at dropoff, and they expect to have to give her extra attention while she is having her little social/parental anxiety issues. Again, this seems like very normal daycare issues, and if they cannot handle them; I would probably start looking for another place.

Daycare teachers/providers should be able and willing to work WITH children and with individual children's needs - not look for children who fit the provider's particular mould.

@bunnylove08: We are still a work in progress - we switched to the toddler room and from FT to PT daycare at the same time, so its taking a little longer, but what we've done is:

- quick drop-offs. We bring LO in, hand her off, wave and smile really big and tell her she is going to have a great day in a very happy voice, then we leave. Now, by the time either DH or myself turn the corner (so LO can't see us anymore), she immediately stops crying/screaming.

- They immediately bring LO into an activity she enjoys when she gets there. Whether it's art, going outside, reading a favorite book, having a snack, etc; she is immediately brought into group play and an activity to focus on, and to focus her attention away from parting from us.

- She gets more 1:1 attention from the primary teacher in the morning, which is the rougher time for her. By afternoon, they say that LO always has a great day.

- They call me to let me know how LO's day is going.

We also met with the toddler program director, LO's primary teacher (and the other teacher in her room), and the center director. I was really nervous that we would be "in trouble", but they just kept assuring us that everything going on is totally and completely normal behavior and something they deal with all the time.

Hope this helps!!

I dont have any daycare experience but that sounds really weird to me.

I think there are red flags all over this one.
Could you find another daycare?
You mentioned a nanny....would a nanny be a possibility instead?

Have you started playing peek a boo with her? My mom said that even that short thought that mom is gone, is enough to help teach them that mom comes right back.

I'd say "note taken" and leave. Find somewhere else. You're child is 11 months, not 5 years old. Honestly, how can you control that she is clingy? And who can't stop an 11m old from crying all day? Surely, they have some strategies....
A daycare *should* be able to read a child's cues for being tired. It's part of the whole "taking care of kids for a living" thing.

I feel terrible and I don't know what else you could really do other than change providers. All I can tell you is that my son had bad separation anxiety from 8-15 months, nothing we did changed it, other than time. 11 months was the peak of the badness, though.