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@stiletto_mom: Im glad you spoke up for yourself and asked for the doctor.

@stiletto_mom: I am so sorry.

Do you have an appointment set up? Have they talked options with you? I was given a choice to wait a bit longer but eventually I didn't want to wait forever so we went ahead and did the D&C.

@stiletto_mom: I'm so, so sorry.

I am so sorry. This sucks. I like what Mrs. Lemon lime said... I hope you can take it to heart

@stiletto_mom: I'm so sorry for your loss and so sorry that you received so much of the communication from them over sort of rude short emails. Know that this not typical!

@stiletto_mom: What the FUCK - that is completely unacceptable. I'm so sorry for your loss, and so furious that you've been subjected to this cruel treatment by your care providers. Please take care of yourself.

I am so sorry that you're going through this and that you've had to endure the additional stress of not knowing. My only advice is to let yourself feel whatever it is that you're feeling.

@stiletto_mom: Wait, so the doctor is lying about not being in today? I surely hope not. Regardless, I hope next time you will have a supportive medical staff to work with and definitely think you should consider other clinics for your prenatal/OB care.

That said, and most importantly, I am incredibly sorry. Definitely be kind to yourself and try to fight off any thoughts that would tempt you to blame yourself.

I'm so sorry you are going through this and I'm so sorry the whole thing was handled in this manner. I had a very similar experience back in June where my beta levels were rising too slowly and then eventually started dropping. I was told to come in for an emergency ultrasound on my moving day just so they could confirm that the pregnancy was not ectopic (even though I begged to come in the following day instead). After the ultrasound, a nurse practitioner sat down to discuss with me what appeared to be happening and answer all of my questions immediately after the ultrasound. A few days later I started spotting and then I miscarried. I got daily calls from the nurses at the practice for the first few days to make sure I didn't need to come in again, tell me how to deal with the discomfort and bleeding (take Advil, no tampons), etc. Anyway, I just wanted to share another experience with you because it seems like this whole thing has been handled somewhat strangely and it doesn't really seem like you are getting adequate attention. Hugs to you.

I'm so so sorry for your loss. As a Canadian I know how hard it is to find a new doctor... but I would be trying pretty hard after this. What an ass.

I am so sorry

@stiletto_mom: I'm so sorry that the news wasn't good. It's gut-wrenching. I had 2 miscarriages, both ending in D&C, so I'm here if you have any questions. Be kind to yourself. Indulge. Cry. Distract. Wallow. Do whatever you have to do to get through it. You WILL be ok. ️

I truly hope you consider finding another doctor. It is hard and a process but they are not fulfilling their duties. It's despicable and you don't deserve it. I can't believe your doctor:
1) was stupid enough to accidentally email you. I would reply so that she feels like a total dumbass when she realizes what she did.
2) that she would lie about being in the office
3) that she can't guarantee a call to a patient who is miscarrying!!! Who the F does she think she is? That is her job!
4) that she clearly isn't upset by the nurses email chain with you! She thinks nothing is wrong with it!

Once again, you deserve so much better! I'm not sure if this is a product of the healthcare system (she just isn't motivated to care or help you) or if she's just an asshole. Probably both. I would be at their office causing a scene. Disgusting.

I'm so sorry.

@stiletto_mom: at 5-6 weeks, you likely would not need a d&c and it would likely be a faster recovery and easier if you bleed. (I say this as someone with a 6 week miscarriage and a 12 week miscarriage).

I'm so sorry you are going through this. As others have shared, many of us have been there, we are all here to support you. I would absolutely be looking for a new dr, there's no excuse or reason to be treated with so little compassion during a very hard time.

@stiletto_mom: I am so so so sorry

@stiletto_mom: I'm sorry you are going through this. I've had both a natural miscarriage at 6 weeks and a D&C at 9 weeks. I actually begged my doctor to allow me to skip the D&C because I was dreading the surgery, anesthesia, time off work, risk of scarring, etc. I wasn't really given the choice because of the concern for infection and the amount of tissue they anticipated I had. I will say that the D&C recovery was better than I expected. However, the natural miscarriage was much less disruptive to my cycle (ovulated 2 weeks later) and schedule (neither my husband or I took off work) and any discomfort was adequately managed by Advil. Neither are great options but if given the choice, I'd probably still elect to allow it to happen naturally since the D&C is in fact a surgery and some people do experience complications, scarring, etc. Just a thought.