My LO is 8 months, a horrible sleeper, wakes up 4-5 times in the middle of the night. He will sleep in his crib the first few wakeups, then I will just put him in bed with me. I have tried to let him cry, just a little but he now stands up in the crib and wails and does not stop. I'm just wondering at what age does sleep generally get better on its own?
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Interested in this as well!
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It really depends! Have you been practicing good sleep hygiene with your LO?
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For us it happened between 5 and 6 months.
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@mrbee: ha, what do you mean by good sleep hygiene? I have feeling this is a no! Yes, I always rock him to sleep, and always have to put him back to sleep. But surely this goes away with age right, or am I just dreaming.
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@mrsaudi: Bee blogged about good sleep habits a while ago!
"The biggest piece of advice I wish I could have told myself is to start teaching healthy sleep habits early so you can prevent sleep problems instead of treat them. Don’t nurse or rock your baby to sleep every time, and give them enough opportunities to learn how to fall asleep on their own. Babies that know how to self soothe can fall asleep on their own, and put themselves back to sleep when they wake up in the middle of the night. By picking Charlie up and soothing him every time he woke up, we’d been reinforcing the very behavior we wanted him to stop. He relied on rocking as a crutch to fall back asleep because he didn’t know how to fall asleep any other way."
More here!
http://www.hellobee.com/2011/09/23/sleep-training-part-1-how-we-night-trained/It can go away with time if you're lucky, but it's a lot more likely to go away if you practice good sleep habits!
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I think it all depends on whether you practice good sleep hygiene. I was pretty diligent starting around the 8 week mark, and sleep eventually got better around the 3 month mark. I still rocked her to sleep because it didn't take too long to put her back to bed, but once we did CIO with her at 4.5 months, i was able to put her to bed wide awake.
It also depends on the baby. I have two friends who never bothered with good sleep hygiene and their LOs still wake up once at 12 months old.
I think if you want his sleep to get better (i.e., have him sleep in his crib) you may have to stop bringing him to bed as it's probably something he expects. There was something Ferber said that really stuck with me...when you let them cry, but then go back to doing whatever it is (rocking, nursing, etc.) that helps them go to sleep, all you're doing is letting them cry. By letting them cry UNTIL they fall asleep, you're teaching them how to fall asleep on their own.
Have you thought about doing some sort of CIO method to help?
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@mrbee: I know, I know. I definitely wished we would have started good sleep habits early!
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@mrsaudi: It's not too late!! Babies learn so quickly... it's us parents that are slower to learn haha! At least, that was my experience...
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I agree with @mrbee, it's most likely to get better if you practice some good sleep habits. Better late than never!
Honestly, i know it's sooo much easier to bring him to bed as i know it was a lot easier to nurse LO than to listen to her CIO but it's worth it in the end.
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@caffeinated: We did try CIO in the past around the 5.5 month to 6 months but never stuck with it because it seemed it was getting worse and not better (I'm wishing we would have stuck with it now.) Now at 8 months I would like to try it again but now he pulls up and stands in his crib and cries, I'm afraid he won't be able to lay down and settle himself to sleep after that.
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@mrsaudi: How frantic is his crying?
As long as it's not hysterical/tantrum-y crying, our kids will usually settle down fairly quickly. If it's hysterical crying though, then it will never end and we go back in pretty quickly!
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@mrsaudi: Aww, i feel so bad.
I think it was all the stories my friends told me about their LOs crying standing up that prompted me to night wean recently. But i don't think it's too late. It might take a little longer, but you should be able to do it. My friend did CIO with hers at the 9 month mark and it took a couple of days. I know a few friends who found that the extinction method (as opposed to the modified approach) worked better for older babies.
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@mrsaudi: Oh I forgot to ask... did you see Bee's posts on when to sleep train?
* http://www.hellobee.com/2012/03/23/when-to-sleep-train/
* http://www.hellobee.com/2012/12/20/does-when-you-sleep-train-help-determine-success/According to that, you might want to wait til 11 months? Or maybe you could try it asap since you're close to the 7 1/2 month cut off!
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@mrbee: ugh yes I just read that, and now I'm thinking I have to wait 3 more months for better sleep?! Or pull the trigger and do it now. I will definitely try letting him cry longer and see what happens!
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To answer your original question, LO started sleeping a full night at 10 months, and only started taking non-crappy naps at 16 months! We were very consistent about sleep hygiene, but he just wasn't a naturally good sleeper so it took time.
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I think it just depends on the baby. My LO slept 12 hours straight at 2 1/2 months with no sleep training. But I think we're just extremely lucky.
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I think it's part baby (if they're naturally a good sleeper) and part good sleep hygiene. If your LO has sleep dependencies (I.e. needs your help to fall asleep and go back to sleep) then things are less likely to get better on their own. For sleep training to 'work,' consistency is your best friend.
My lo's sleep got consistently better at 4.5-5 months. We exercised good sleep hygiene early on (mainly because he fought being rocked to sleep really early on). He has always been a pretty good night sleeper and an ok napper. We also never really went through sleep regressions because, in my opinion, we've maintained good sleep habits.
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He slept great between 6-8 months, terrible between 8-10 months, and has been improving between 10-12 months.
Yes, a big part of it was training myself to give him good sleep habits. I stopped nursing in the middle of the night so he had less reason to get up. I also had to stop pulling him into bed with me and keep him in his own bed.
There are still good nights and bad nights, but babies are always changing, so you go through different phases.
I think it was all the stories my friends told me about their LOs crying standing up that prompted me to night wean recently. But i don't think it's too late. It might take a little longer, but you should be able to do it. My friend did CIO with hers at the 9 month mark and it took a couple of days. I know a few friends who found that the extinction method (as opposed to the modified approach) worked better for older babies.
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