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It did bother me when I was pregnant, doesn't bother me now
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I can think of about a thousand other things that would bother me before this.
ETA - I can't stand when people say my husband or my wife when everyone knows who they are. so, I guess it would bother me for anyone (including my husband) to call our daughter "my baby" because she is no ones possession, including ours. But I don't think that's the reason it would bother most. Still isn't something I would get upset at someone over though.
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I actually have a physical reaction to how much I hate my mother doing this. It makes my skin crawl. My MIL doesn't do it, because my SIL freaked on her when she said it about my niece, but I honestly don't think I would care with her, because I know it would just be a term of endearment type thing. My mother on the hand genuinely believes she has as much right to my kid as I do, which drives me fucking insane.
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@erinpye: My SIL says on FB that LO is the girl that she never had, her baby, etc. It bothers me so much. Esp. cause on FB she acts like she is involved in her life when in reality she isn't.
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@cookiemomster: yes this is exactly how i feel about it! you worded it better than i could.
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@Smurfette: are our SILs twins‽ SO aggravating!
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My moms friend does this with her grand baby and I think it's so annoying. I told my mom she may not say that. I also told her she couldn't call LO "Monkey" because that's what she calls her dog...she does it anyway.
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@Smurfette: The FB thing is what really grinded my gears
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@blackbird: I get so annoyed when she tags me in her posts and then my friends like it. I am like NOOOOOO!
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@Smurfette: I made it so that you have to get my approval to tag me! Saved me a lot of sanity
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doesn't bother me.
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Doesn't bother me at all. If anything, makes me feel happy that my daughter is so loved. In general, I'm not really possessive when it comes to my daughter. I think part of this is because I live so far from family and really miss that closeness. If I lived in my hometown and had to deal with everyone more frequently, my feelings about it might change.
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Honestly, it does bother me. However, I think it's bc at this point in LO's life I am the one answering the question.. IE: my mom asks "how's my girl doing?" I have to respond obvi bc DD is one. I think once DD is older and can respond on her own I *might* think it's cute. IDK, for now it bugs me. And my mom uses it a LOT, "my girl", "my baby", "my sweetie". I don't feel like I'm possessive really but I mean she's my daughter, not yours.
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Nope, doesn't bother me. But then again, my daughter's grandmas and aunts/uncles aren't possessive or annoying, they are genuinely loving so when they say or post things about my daughter, it makes me really happy that she is so loved.
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While it doesn't bother me now, and I can't recall specifically it happening when LO was younger it FOR SURE would have enraged me when my ILs did it, lol.
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No not at all. I think its a sweet term of endearment, not being possessive or anything.
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I don't care about stuff like that. To be honest, I love it when people give LO that feeling of familiarity and belonging. We live pretty far away from family and I want her to have the biggest village possible. There can be no doubt n anyone's mind that he kid is physically mine, but if she belongs in the hearts of others, then that is a fantastic feeling.
Then again, I was perfectly happy for lots of other people to hold her during my mat leave and I have friends who hated that so maybe I am just weird.
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Not really. The only person who it annoys me when he says it is my FIL but thats probably just a "bitch eating crackers" situation.
I have no issue if my mom or MIL or whoever says it.
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This is really interesting! To be honest, I have called my niece (now 6 years old) "my baby" but I think it's more of a reflection of our close bond and the fact that my sister and I are best friends. I don't imagine, for a second, that I have any rights, possession or clout when it comes to her. She's just "my baby bear" and always will be. It's just a term of endearment for a little girl I love to pieces. If that makes me creepy or whatever, that's fine with me.
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It really does bother me and I'm not sure why. It just does. I feel like I should before grateful they love him so much, but it really annoys me.
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Totally bothers me.
I get along with my ILs great but it bugs me. I birthed them, I'm raising them. Yes you get to swoop in and be Grandma aka favoritepersonever - don't rub it in!
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@plantains: No I'm the same way. I loved for people to hold him. I love that he's attached to his teachers. I love that he adores my parents. I encourage him to be more attached to my in-laws. I figure the more people that love and support him the better!
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My parents call LO, "their bubby," which doesn't bother me at all. My in-laws haven't ever called him "their" anything and it would probably weird me out because it isn't their nature to really use terms of endearment for anyone.
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My parents often say "my boy" or "our boy," which doesn't bother me at all. I think if they actually said "my baby," it might get to me a bit. And it would probably bother me if the ILs did it, too (only because the in-laws do seem to have a sense that there's some ownership there--like, they'll say "my grandson," as if that means more than "your son..".) But they don't. It would definitely depend on the person.
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@TravelBee: I think this pretty much pin points why it bothers me - everyone I know who has used this phrase has at least once used it to dismiss my role as the parent and say something like, "My baby needs some solids!" after I've said he's too young, or, "Give me my baby, I bet he'll calm down for me!" when he's upset and I'm comforting him.
ETA: and I completely disagree with the notion I keep seeing implied that if I don't want someone calling my child their baby, that must mean I don't want him to be attached to others and hsve a loving relationship with them. More love is always better, but I'm still the one who went through hypermesis gravidarum, gestational diabetes, two c-sections, stretch marks, bloody nipples, and months of sleeplessness for them! So yes, I think I have earned the right to be picky about other people using a possessive term with my child if I don't like it!
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It doesn't bother me in the slightest now but when I was pregnant it gave me rage (like the 28 Days Later, I'm going to eat your brains kinda rage).
@loki: I think it's partly hormones. I could have happily buried my (really rather wonderful) MIL under the patio when I was pregnant because I was convinced she was going to try to steal my baby!
@blackbird: @Smurfette: THIS X 1 million! My mum never calls LO "her baby" but the situation is the same. She rarely sees E and, when she does, she wont be left alone with her never mind actually look after her. She never changed her nappy, not once, and yet on FB and to her work friends she plays the super-doting-grandma role. She begs me to send pictures to her (when she lives 2 miles away - come and see her!) and she used to tag herself in my FB pictures. I put a stop to the tagging eventually, even though I knew it was petty but...... YOU WEREN'T THERE! Gah!
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My mom says it sometimes but it doesn't bother me. I know she means well, and she's not saying my daughter is more hers than mine. She just loves her!
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@wonderstruck: that seems mean and kind of rude, sorry people have said that to you. People always think they know how best to parent the kids of others, so strange.
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@Rubies: LOL. Exactly this.
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I get "How's our baby?" a lot, but it does not bother me.
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@wonderstruck: yes this exactly!
I think it's fine if it's a turn of phrase that bothers people.
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I think this would only bother me if that specific person in general just annoyed me. If it was someone I loved and got a long with I would think its sweet.
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@wonderstruck: I would never be okay with someone telling me how to parent my child, so the problem there for me wouldn't be the phrase "my baby", but the fact that they were trying to tell me how to parent.
I'm sorry if you felt that my comment meant to imply that you didn't want people to love your child. That was not my intention. Noone in my life has used that expression as anything other than a loving term and I'm very committed to the idea of building a village for my child therefore I don't feel like it bothers me. Your child is yours to raise and you have every right to like or dislike how anyone interacts with them. I never meant to imply otherwise.
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The only person who bugs me in this way is my husband's annoying friend. Let's call her Sally for this purpose. When she came to visit us, she kept calling herself "Aunt Sally". Since we are not blood relatives and she makes my skin crawl, I really did not appreciate her assuming that level of intimacy with my child.
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Not at all. I'm happy our family loves them so much.
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Not at all. I find it sweet. She is their baby, too.
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@travellingbee: I'm sorry, it did come out like I was specifically responding to you although I didn't quite mean it that way. Bad day (really bad - having to go say goodbye to my grandma and now sitting around waiting for the phone call ) bad, and I overreacted. It bugged me but shouldn't have bugged me that much, I'm sorry I overreacted.
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Nope. It's a term of endearment. It's not like they are literally laying claim to my child. I don't get why people get upset over this.
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It doesn't bother me...unless the person saying it bothers me
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On occasion, but more so because the people who say that do take credit for everything - saying this or that was inherited from them.
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