Our next door neighbours have 3 kids (4, 8, 12) - my DD (3) loves going over to their house and the parents (who we have become friends with as well) always tell us to leave DD and DS with them if we need to go anywhere. She goes over to their house a lot, and they are good with DS (7 months old) as well. There have been some nights where I asked if DD can play at their house while I put DS to bed and they are more than happy to have her there. Even though she goes to play with their youngest, she gravitates toward the older girls.

We recently had the oldest babysit DS after he went to bed while the three of us went somewhere. We paid her for the 2 hours we were gone.

I'm now in this weird position where I don't know when it's appropriate/inappropriate to pay the eldest. Do I pay if I specifically ask the oldest to babysit both kids? Do I not pay if I casually ask to leave both kids at their house? What if they babysit at their house but the mom ends up watching the baby- do I still pay?

I asked my neighbour if her daughter can babysit both kids today and she said they can come over to their house if we wanted. I would feel weird if the mom was looking after the baby and we pay the daughter for babysitting, you know? I know this is such a stupid dilemma but I want to make sure we don't seem like we are taking advantage of our neighbour's generosity!