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I guess it depends what they are doing instead of college. If they are doing trade school or working at something that they are able to support themselves then that's one thing and I would try to be ok with it. If they are just hanging out, mooching off us or their friends, then that is a different story!

I'm in New Zealand and we have a big problem with kids going to university to do degrees that don't actually qualify them to do anything (or increase their employability) and leaving them with huge student loans that don't result in any return on investment. I would rather my kids go and work for a year or so to get a feel for where their passions lie rather than going to uni just as a matter of course. We also have a serious shortage of tradespeople in NZ so I really believe in the value of apprenticeship or distance / adult learning. University isn't a good fit for everybody and I'm ok with that.

Depending on how the economy and jobs change I think I'd actually encourage technical school or getting some job experience first. I've known too many people who get a 4 year degree and then decide that isn't where they want to work and go back for another degree. The degree is much more meaningful if you actually need it and know you need it.

It this point no. I see college as an extension of all other schooling. I expect my kid to graduate from high school and I extend that same expectation to college.
However, I realize circumstances change so I intend to be flexible depending on how life pans out.

i would really struggle if either of my children do not want to go to college. i'd have to see what the circumstances were, but i know i would try and convince them to try it for at least a year. as others have said, i think it can be such an enriching experience beyond the academics/job skills.

My parents expected me to go to college and they generously paid for it. For various reasons, I dropped out. After some tough years in my early 20s, I'm fortunate to have a good career in a setting where everyone else has a degree. And I don't have student loan debt (just eternal indebtedness to my parents). I suffer no delusions about my lack of degree - if I wanted to SAH then rejoin the workforce or look for a job outside my current company, it would be very difficult. Sometimes I feel trapped by that, and I have a lot of regrets.

All of this to say - I'm torn as to what I'll expect of my own children. I hope they'll want to take advantage of the educational opportunity DH and I are willing to provide. If they prefer to do something else I know we'll expect them to support themselves. It's just so hard to determine the difference between someone who is truly not cut out for college and would thrive without it vs. someone who needs the right fit, more maturity, more discipline, etc. in order to make it work. I suspect the vast, vast majority of people fall into the latter category (I know I did).

I think there's a lot of value in spending a few years of young adulthood in a college environment, so I think there would have to be some really extenuating circumstances to make me "ok" with them not going to college.

I fully expect some kind of education after high school. It's not a parenting deal breaker for me, I'd still love them, but I would be extremely disappointed. We were both raised with the expectation of some sort of education, it was just where our trajectory took us.

Being that we will be paying for their first four years of education, I'd hope they would at least give it a try. I don't expect perfect grades or a prestigious program, I was a crappy student, but I had a great time in college and it has definitely helped me land the career I am in now.

Yes, I would be okay with it. We will encourage him to go but ultimately it is his life and his choice. My brother chose to forgo college and became a career firefighter. He loves his job and makes SIGNIFICANTLY more than I did as a teacher with none of the loans that I am still drowning in. I am happy with my choice to get a degree but I don't think he made the wrong or irresponsible choice to go right into a career.

@gingerbebe: yes, I think this is true. Getting at least a bachelor's degree is more and more the expectation, and in many fields, a Master's is needed for advancement. My mother, who has worked as a nurse and nursing instructor for 30+ years, always regretted not going back for her Master's degree. There were several points in her career that it prohibited advancement, and by that time, it would have been too difficult to do with 5 kids.

Yes. Honestly, 18 is so young. I think that there's nothing wrong with taking time to decide what you want to do. I think that it is also young to demand that they have a plan. Just work for awhile and think about it.

We will be paying for it fully so if they didn't take advtange of that opportunity we would be disappointed. College or university is fine (we're in Canada, there is a difference)