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Beyond Miscarriage Support

  1. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @MaryM: I think that's a great idea!! I'm totally in for the gift exchange as well.

    @2PeasinaPod: I'm glad your appt was thorough, but I'm sorry about their findings so far. At least if they find out what is causing the problems, that's the first step to doing something about it, right? Hugs. It's not your fault - we can't control what our bodies are doing, despite lack of trying. When's your vacation? We are going to the jersey shore too, but not for another couple of weeks. I can't wait! I hope your LO loves it!

    @mrs bunchy: I'm glad your testing came back normal, but how annoying that it doesn't really give you any concrete answers! I'm STILL getting bills after my D&E in June - it ended up costing more than it cost to have my son, which is really a nice kick in the gut. Unfortunately, I was still bleeding red, not brown, two weeks post procedure. The prolongest bleeding makes it feel like it will never be over and made it really hard for me to emotionally heal while dealing with the physical. It WILL end though - I hope soon for you. Love the artwork you made! We made a "D" like that for DS's room with bright yarn. I love the look of yours!

    @jaguar: Yay for spotting being gone! Wearing those pads for weeks at a time was one of the worst parts for me. It was a constant (uncomfortable) reminder of what was going on. I'm so glad your u/s looked clear. I hope it helps you move on a little bit to know that it was, hopefully, a n embryo issue - and a fluke! And a major hooray for baths!!!

    @simplyfelicity: I'm so sorry about the party you were at! Why the heck would the hosts throw a costume party and not dress up?!? I totally broke out after the m/c, for a few weeks actually. It was just another reminder

    @FliegepilzHut: I feel that way all the time. "Why me"... I swear, everywhere I look and everyone I know is pregnant.

    @Tidybee: That's so sweet of your friend, and so true! Most people stopped asking how I was a week after the m/c, despite the fact that it physically went on for 2 months, and I doubt I'll ever be over it emotionally.

    @Keppa: People are so nosy and insensitive. I get asked when we're giving LO a sibling on a daily basis by coworkers. People are so insensitive and don't even realize....it's sad.

    Well, AF came this weekend! Exactly 2 weeks after I got a positive opk, so that's got to be a good sign, right?? However, this period does suck majorly and I'm having all sorts of added digestive problems....ugh. I wanted af so badly, so now I want it to be over already, so we can just get back to TTC....ugh. It feels like never ending waiting.

    The closer it gets, the more scared I become. I'm so scared we won't get pregnant quickly. Or lose another one. Or...I don't even know. All this anxiety is normal, right???

  2. Mrs. Oyster

    blogger / apricot / 427 posts

    @ValentineMommy: totally normal to be anxious. I had slim hopes that we would get pregnant again before AF first came back, but no such luck. The first AF sucked. Much heavier than normal with done clots still. Now I'm definitely anxious that it'll take just as long to get pregnant again. It sucks.

  3. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @Keppa: It definitely sucks. I think I mentioned before, but we got pregnant quickly with DS and with the 2nd pregnancy, so I'm terrified of the anxiety that will happen if it doesn't happen quickly again. The anxiety just never stops.

  4. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    For those interested in the gift/supportive mail exchange, I've created an elfster http://www.elfster.com/exchange/view/12144104/83e348/.

    I'm also going to start a new thread in the loss forum so that people who might not be in this thread anymore can see it. I set the sign up date for two weeks from today and the exchange deadline two weeks since then.

    I'm create a poll in the other thread so we can share information about ourselves for those that draw us.

  5. Tidybee

    nectarine / 2834 posts

    @jaguar: Thanks for the update. Been thinking about you!
    Just so I don't sound like I'm needing frequent support, the girl we had dinner with last night has never said anything acknowledging either miscarriage. Not one word. Like they didn't even happen. I'm sad I had to go through this but I know better how to help people who might be experiencing some type of grief or pain, whether I've experienced it or not. I appreciate those people who said something (even if it was not the most helpful thing) because they at least tried.

  6. Tidybee

    nectarine / 2834 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Um the bills freakin stink. As if this didn't hurt enough...now I have to shell out $1000.

  7. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6630 posts

    @Tidybee: Oh that bill does suck! I'm sorry!

    @MaryM: Thanks for doing that!

    @Keppa: @ValentineMommy: During our first cycle post loss, I was kind of excited, thinking that this hell could all be over if I got pregnant. But I didn't get pregnant so this us now cycle 2 and I feel less anxious, like I know it could take time. I will give myself four cycles before I start to panic. Well that's what I'm saying now, but I know how the TTC crazies come out in me during the TWW so....

  8. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @Tidybee: Right?? It's ridiculous. I get mad every time I think about that bill.

    @travelgirl1: Because we got preg on the first try, both time, I just know I'm going to go full on crazy if we don't get preg quickly again. I'm trying to be rational, but it's basically impossible.

  9. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6630 posts

    @ValentineMommy: We did too, but we were having full on monitoring at a clinic so knew exactly when to do it and when the egg had stopped. I don't have that option now so that does make it harder for us. I found that first cycle very tense but once it had failed I let up of all that pressure I'd put on myself. for you

  10. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @MaryM: Thanks for organising!

    And thanks ladies for the kind words. I don't think I"ll have proper closure until we get the final genetic reports, but with a few more weeks of waiting for a period anyway, not much else I can do.

    Have I mentioned how much I HATE waiting?

    I realised if I have to wait for a period until October, then Provera, then start a brand new cycle - at best, we'll do our FET in November. That makes me want to sob.

  11. simplyfelicity

    cantaloupe / 6634 posts

    Just wanted to say thank you to you guys for being so supportive and understanding at this time when very little makes sense. It's been incredibly helpful and makes me feel like I am not so alone on this journey after a loss. I am thinking of you all.

  12. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @simplyfelicity: Right back at you! xx

  13. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @travelgirl1: Thank you! I need all the good luck I can get!

    @jaguar: I know how you feel. Waiting sucks SO bad, it made the whole thing worse for me. Waiting between ultrasounds to find out what was happening, waiting for the d&e, waiting to stop bleeding, waiting for next period....it's a lot to handle. Just take it one step at a time. You'll get there

    @simplyfelicity: You're not alone!

  14. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    And as a side note, it looks like my first period post-d&e is almost over! It was definitely not pleasant, but I'm glad that I'm getting back to normal!

  15. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    Where'd all my ladies go today?

  16. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6630 posts

    @ValentineMommy: In Starbucks while the girls nap Yay for end of your period! Now back to the TTC grind. How do you feel about it? I was really excited to be starting but also very "sigh, here we go again".

  17. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @travelgirl1: I'm super excited, and super terrified. "What if we don't get pregnant right away?" ... "What if we have another m/c...I will lose my mind".... "What if I DO become pregnant...I'll lose my mind with worry"....... A lot of what-if's. I basically feel crazy. I try to tell myself to just let it happen, but it's not in my personality, especially after the m/c. So yea, it's basically what you said. Here we go again!

  18. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    I am so behind. Weekends are crazy around here, and I work on Mondays. I have never figured out how to go back more than a page to tag, so I can only respond to this page...

    @MaryM: Thanks for starting it. That will be great

    @Tidybee: I'm so sorry about the bill. That would be another awful reminder.

    @travelgirl1: I've tried to promise myself that next time we're in the TWW, I won't test until I'm late (I drove myself crazy last time and started testing WAY too early). I'm sure it won't happen, but I'm trying not to even order tests until I ovulate, just so I can't test quite so early.

    @ValentineMommy: We got pregnant cycle #1 with my son and also with this pregnancy, so I will be the same. And yay for period being over!

    @simplyfelicity: This group has really helped me a lot, and you are a huge part of that! All my other friends have moved on from talking about it or asking how I am, so it's good to have this space. Yesterday, I actually purposefully brought it up with a friend (who is also a therapist!) and I got nothing...

    @jaguar: Doing the time calculations is killing me, too. We so wanted a spring baby, and at the earliest our next baby will be in August/September. Not that I won't take it, but that seems like SO LONG after March. And I'll still have to deal with seeing my new niece/nephew during that time.

    I have an appt to see the nurse practitioner today. About a week before my miscarriage, I had what I thought might be a yeast infection. My doc decided she didn't need to see me. It was totally overshadowed by the miscarriage, but now that I've stopped bleeding, whatever it is is back and I really need to see someone. I'm terrified that whatever it is caused my miscarriage and the baby would have been fine if I'd just seen the doctor. It still wouldn't be my fault, but the idea that it may have been preventable is killing me. I'm really hoping that it's totally unrelated.

  19. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @Jess1483: Weird! We're totally in the same boat then. It's awful - I can't take the anxiety. I'm sure whatever is going on is unrelated to your m/c - fingers crossed for your appt. I'm also a bit sad on the timing issue. I really, really did not want to be super pregnant during the summer. I my winter baby (and winter pregnancy).

  20. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Ugh, my son was born in November and we are in a heavy winter state. I hated being cooped up. At least fall would be a bit better.

  21. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @Jess1483: Yea, I had the same feeling. My son was born in Feb. Honestly though, I liked having an excuse not to leave the house - too much snow and too cold for baby!

  22. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @Jess1483: Hopefully it's nothing chick x

    I've been here, just plugging away. Decided to start up my running again this week. Hoping to do a workout Mon/Wed/Fris.

  23. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    @ValentineMommy: @jaguar: Thanks ladies! Luckily it was nothing (I mean, it's a tiny something, but both easily taken care of, and a side effect of rather than a cause of, the miscarriage). This has been nagging me since the miscarriage, so it's actually a huge load off my shoulders.

    I of course cried when I described it every time (the nurse on the phone, the nurse in person, the nurse practitioner I saw...)

  24. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @simplyfelicity: @simplyfelicity: I missed this on Sunday-- I totally hear that! It seems like it's been a ridiculously long time for DH and me, too (although really it's just been a series of long gaps since starting IVF....).

    Hope you ladies are all doing well!

  25. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @Jess1483: *hugs* You're a brave girl. I'm glad it was nothing, chick. xx

    @FliegepilzHut: How are you going?

    I wish I had more to report.

  26. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @Jess1483: Glad it was nothing!!! Hugs!

    Not much to report here. AF is officially over. TTC will commence soon. I go from being really excited to freaked out in an instant. I also realized that my next period will be due the day after we come back from vacation - hopefully being away will take my mind off the TWW and all the anxiety that comes with that!

  27. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @jaguar: I'm hard at work this week... My HB time has been drastically reduced. I'm pretty well. "Worst case," I guess we'll FET together in a few months? Hang in there!

  28. LulaBee

    pear / 1837 posts

    1. What is your story? I have a beautiful 2 year old daughter. I had a miscarriage/D&C in March at 9 weeks. And yesterday I started hemorrhaging blood at work, went to ER, and was told I am having an imminent miscarriage. So I guess it's a little early to be joining this board, as I don't think I've even processed what is happening in my body. But here I am anyways!

    2. How do you feel today? Exhausted. Sad. Nervous.

    3. If you have any "next steps" what are they? Today I go to the midwife to see what my next steps are. Other than that, enjoy my DD and DH, breathe, and grieve.

    4. Is there something else in your life you are "investing" in? I'm going to invest in getting back into shape after I miscarry. I had to stop running with this pregnancy and I want to get fit. Buff! I want to lose my baby weight.

  29. ValentineMommy

    pomelo / 5791 posts

    @LulaBee: I'm so sorry to hear that you're m/c again. Let us know what your midwife says at your appt. Hugs and prayers!!

  30. Jess1483

    nectarine / 2641 posts

    @LulaBee: I'm so sorry for your loss. Too many March mamas are over here now.

  31. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @LulaBee: Major hugs

  32. Tidybee

    nectarine / 2834 posts

    @LulaBee: ugh it makes me sad to see you here.

  33. travelgirl1

    cantaloupe / 6630 posts

    @LulaBee: I'm sorry, there are really no words

  34. mrs bunchy

    kiwi / 533 posts

    @LulaBee: I am soooo sorry!!!! I also miscarried in March- and had another this month next time we are pregnant- can we stay pregnant?!!

  35. mrs bunchy

    kiwi / 533 posts

    Had my follow up with my OB post d&c- I finally stopped bleeding red, brown, and in between !!!!!! I am 2.5 weeks out and meeting with RE next week !! DH is just excited for some hanky panky- and I'm excited for baths again!!

  36. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @mrs bunchy: Great news!

  37. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @ValentineMommy: Just breathe! xx We're here to support you!

    @FliegepilzHut: I am SO glad to have a FET buddy when the time comes. I still got a squinter line on my preggo test this morning. WHY WON'T THIS END?

    @LulaBee: Oh shoot. I am so sorry. How many weeks are you? So many hugs. xx

    @mrs bunchy: Woohoo! Good news for you. I celebrated last night with another HOT bath, and some ... cuddles. We needed that. xx

  38. FliegepilzHut

    pomegranate / 3533 posts

    @LulaBee: Ugh...I really hope that's not the case. Have you heard back from your midwife yet?

    @mrs bunchy: Yay for baths!

    @jaguar: And yay for cuddles...*titters*. I agree, it would be really awesome to have a FET buddy! Will you be going back on BCPs? I'm hoping to time my transfer around Thanksgiving (exactly 3 mos away...which suddenly feels like an eternity )!

  39. jaguar

    pomegranate / 3764 posts

    @FliegepilzHut: No BCP's for me, because I don't ovulate - so we'll time it with Provera & Femara instead. But again...by the time I get to October, start it all up - it's looking to be November too!

  40. LulaBee

    pear / 1837 posts

    Well, I went to my midwife yesterday... baby was still in there and had a good heartbeat. They sent me to a high risk doc, who did more u/s and checked my cervix- he said he's hopeful but we aren't out of the woods yet. So maybe the baby is sticking? I'm trying not to get my hopes up... he said I will probably bleed again, so that's scary. I don't understand how I could have bled SO MUCH and the baby is still alive. But I'll take what I can get! Sorry to jump in on your thread before I needed to, I guess. Hugs to all of you ladies.

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