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My kids are similar ages and we also weren't sure where to put who in our van! Can your 2nd row captains chairs slide next to each other? I feel like it would be REALLY hard to see the baby in one of those car seat mirrors if they are in the way back. In my Odyssey I have the middle seat removed and the two remaining seats pushed next to each other, so on one side I have a "landing zone". I put DS (3) in the 2nd row driver's side, infant seat in the 2nd row middle, and DD(5.5) in the 3rd row, passenger side but where the landing zone area is. That way I can plop the baby in and then reach back to help her buckle, then buckle DS when I come around to my side.

DD was SUPER upset about moving to the back by herself, but has gotten used to it and now does not want to move back to be with her brothers. We play up the fact that she has her own cupholder to keep snacks in, she has a seat next to her to stick all her stuffed animals, and she can reach her own light. The only big issue is I can't hand stuff back to her, so if we take a long car trip I might just sit in the back too for parts of it.

What about pulling out a captain's chair, putting one in the middle row and two in the back. It would give you more room to maneuver inside the van when getting everyone buckled. You could do infant in middle row, rear facing behind infant, and the oldest behind the empty seat. Or rear facing convertible in middle row, forward facing seat in third row behind it, and infant behind the empty seat.

My friend has the captain chair pulled. Two oldest in third row and the youngest in the remaining captains chair. She can get to the back row easy that way.

That’s what we planned to do with our Santa Fe captain chairs... but now we’ve realized they aren’t removable. Baby is coming in 5 weeks and we still aren’t sure what to do

ETA: they put extra items in the empty spot where they captain chair used to be.

We have a Yukon XL. We put our 4 year old (FF in Chicco MyFit) in the third row drivers side and the two RF (almost 2 yo in Clek Fllo and 4 mo old in Nuna Pipa) in the captains chairs. We had the 2 yo RF next to the 4 yo in the third row for awhile, but it’s actually much less annoying to have the two RF seats in the middle.

I’d work on your oldest buckling herself! our 4 yo just figured it out and it’s super easy to just reach back and tighten him up!

@Silva: I don’t have a minivan, so maybe this is a dumb question, but can you pop out both captain chairs and slide the third row bench forward? For the purpose of buckling everyone easily, I really liked my kids three across in the second row (I have an SUV with a not-very-useful third row, so we just use the second) at the beginning. They were 4.5 and 2.5 when the baby was born. I did baby behind me, 4 year old FF in the middle (she was super helpful), and 2.5 year old RF on the passenger side (she pestered the baby so needed to be separated. Now at 6, 4, and 18 months, it’s the same configuration with the 4 year old FF, and I’ve just now reached the point where I feel like they need to and can spread out.

We currently have 3 across in a Ford Escape but plan to (and have to) upgrade to a Honda Pilot (ideally 8 seater) by October before #4 arrives.

Our plan is to put the least needy in the back; so that means our boys, oldest (7) whose in alBritax Frontier CT and our 3rd, who will be 3 when baby arrives and is currently RF in a Britax Boulevard CT.

Our girls will then be in the middle which includes the NB in a Cybex Aton Q and our 2nd, who will be 5 when baby arrives and is currently RF in a Britax Marathon CT (she’s the same size as her younger brother so their both still RF).

We will probably turn our 2nd and 3rd children FF when baby arrives. Not sure if we will keep their current seats or switch them out to a HBB like big brother and then save the others for baby. They always fight over who gets to sit in our oldest seat when he’s not in the car, plus they can do the HBB buckle themselves, but aren’t so good at their own seats. Go figure.

Honestly, I have not figured out the logistics of who/how we are getting everyone in/out of the car, but I know the above is the plan for now lol. I think, just like everything else, it’s a learning curve and we, just like you, will figure it out in time. I know when we went from 2 to 3 I was nervous about this as well, but it ended up being easier than expected (just now they fight since they sit at arms reach).

What @anbanan15: said. 3 across is about to stop working for us because my 6 & 4 year old girls are constantly touching each other...and now the 20 month old wants to give the 6 year old stuff (shoes...toys...half chewed food she decides she no longer wants...) and the 6 year old freaks out.
@anbanan15: if you upgrade to the Pilot and can remember to share, I'd LOVE to see pics of how you're configuring your seats. I'm wondering if a Pilot would be enough of a size upgrade from my MDX to help the situation we're in. DH wants a Suburban, but I think that's kind of overkill!

@PinkElephant: So we ended up upgrading to the Honda Odyssey Touring yesterday. When I revisited the Pilot we learned that the latest redesign resulted in the 3rd row being lower so a person even at 5'1" ended up sitting with their knees in their throat and this turned me off from it. I looked into the 2018 Ford Expedition because it offered the most RF/FF seating configurations out of all the 3 row SUV's and the ability to get into the 3rd row without removing the car seats from the 2nd row, however it is huge and the price was so high. The Odyssey offered the same seating options, but a ton more features for the price. As much as I was against a minivan, it also just seemed to be the most practical for our family.

The reason we went with the Touring was because it offered CabinWatch, so we can view the 2nd and 3rd rows from the navigation system upfront. With the amount of fighting and unbuckling we have been having in the car lately this feature alone nearly sold me on the Odyssey.