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Both my mum and DH's parents live fairly close to us but we spend a lot more time with my inlaws. This is partly because they're nicer to spend time with (my mum has been known to create a bit of drama) and partly because they're just more accommodating. They have converted one of their bedrooms into a bedroom for their grandchildren - so they can stop over or take naps there - and they have lots of toys for the kids to play with. They babyproofed the downstairs and even filled in their pond when their grandkids came along so it wasn't a risk. Whereas my mum expects us to manage E when we visit and to stop her touching her glass ornaments.... which is fine.... but it doesn't make for an enjoyable visit!

It's about even.

Mine, but especially my dad, who works in the same city we do (my mom works a 90min flight away and they commute back and forth). My in-laws still see lo about once a month though. It's a lot of family time, tbh!

My parents are more helpful when they're around so I prefer to have them over. Like, my inlaws expect that we act like hosts-- getting them water, making coffee when they want it, etc, whereas my parents will just do that stuff plus take out the trash, do the dishes, take the dogs out, etc without us asking

For us it boils down to proximity. MIL lives 4 hours away and my mom is less than a hour. We don't go out of our way to spend more time with my mom, but if I invite her to hang out with me she will likely see him because he lives there too. If distance was equal we would probably see them the same. Purposely getting together for holidays and milestones, and then in passing when the moms hang out with their own children.