If you're pregnant with #3 or considering a #3....

By coopsmama Oct 7, 2015

Did you find it harder to commit to TTC for a third more than you did your other two??

I'm wondering if it's just me! We absolutely want a third and maybe fourth - we can't picture our family in 10 years without a third and I can't wait to have another baby to snuggle. So we know we will TTC and likely soon...but oh my goodness, committing to TTC is so much harder this go around. Our first two we NTNP and I wasn't scared to see the positive tests when they came but this time I'm more nervous. I feel like a third is going to really add some stress for a bit. I even think of the logistics of going to the grocery store by myself with three and become overwhelmed or doing bedtime by myself with three on the rare night that my husband is gone.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has been more nervous about adding a third than they were their other two? Or am I alone in this?

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23 comments

MrsSRS
nectarine / 2987 posts

Oct 7, 2015

We aren't committed to a third, but if we were I think this is how I would feel. FWIW I was a nanny for a family of three before I was a mom. Bedtime wasn't that much harder with a third! But I did mostly go to the store when the eldest was in school.
MrsF
honeydew / 7283 posts

Oct 7, 2015

We had always planned on having 3, but now that we have two we're both a little gun shy about the idea of TTC #3. DS is almost 1 year and I'm honestly not sure what we're going to end up doing. I'm sort of in agony over this decision
cheesetomywhine
pear / 1586 posts

Oct 7, 2015

Nope! Of course I worry about bedtime with three alone but I knew we wanted a big family so it didn't stop us. Good luck!
MrsB2012
nectarine / 2466 posts

Oct 7, 2015

We were on the fence about having number 3 while I was pregnant with #2. DH was a fairly solid 'no' and I was wavering on it. We decided fairly quickly after #2 was born we both wanted a third. 1 and 2 are 18 months apart, for a bunch of reasons, we will aim for the same spacing with the third. That A) means basically 3 under 3 and B) trying again like next month. I didn't particularly love pregnancy with #2 and the thought of being pregnant again any time with 2 youngs kind of seems overwhelming, however, I think I handle the 2 really well. When I start to think of taking the 3 grocery shopping I think it will be hard, but then I think, no, it's just 2 sitting in the cart and wearing one, that's manageable. It's just an adjustment, like it was going from 1 to 2. I'm sure it takes time to get a routine, but once you have it things will hopefully be pretty smooth.
Anyways, yeah, I'm nervous about it all, but I know it will be worth it
iheartleopardprint
apricot / 343 posts

Oct 7, 2015

My first two were surprise babies, this baby we actively TTC. For me I didn't have trouble committing to the idea of a third, as we both desperately wanted another baby. What I did have trouble with was if we didn't conceive as easily as I imagined.

Luckily, we conceived first month of trying. We were going to start the month before but FI went out of town my whole fertile week! So getting past the pressure of TTC was the hardest part for me, not the idea of another baby.

I am so excited to see the older kids fuss over the baby when s/he is here

ETA- FI was never committed to a third, but one day he just changed him mind and he wanted a third more than anything! He is over the moon now
Mamasig
pomegranate / 3565 posts

Oct 7, 2015

I was super excited at the thought of #3 and didn't let fear deter me. I'm pregnant now and do kinda worry but when I see my family in the future there are 3 little people in it.
LuLu Mom
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts

Oct 8, 2015

We aren't committed to a third yet, but this is my EXACT mindset when I think about adding a third. I would love another baby/child and feel like 2 would be a good number for us but the logistics scare me! Seriously you can ask me one day and I would say "yes for sure" and the next say "um I think we are good with two!" It's so hard for me to commit to having another when right now I feel like we have perfect balance.
meredithNYC
pomegranate / 3314 posts

Oct 8, 2015

Kind of? I had a tough time adjusting to life with one and so waited until she was 2 years old to TTC again. I like the gap in the sense that oldest is in preschool 5 mornings a week, potty trained, and generally much more independent. But I don't want that big of a gap next time, mostly because I just want the pregnancy/newborn craziness to be over and done with it. My youngest is 5 months old and I want to TTC when he's a year old, but it's scary! I mean, time has FLOWN since he arrived in April and I know he will be turning one like, tomorrow, lol. I keep thinking, oh my God, I could be pregnant again next summer - yikes!
BandDmommy
pomelo / 5660 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@coopsmama: We were very much on the fence about #3. In fact, DH said he was done at 2 and the next day I found out I was pregnant. I honestly don't know what we would have done if I hadn't had a surprise pregnancy. He is getting a vasectomy so there is no chance of baby #4.
oliviaoblivia
pineapple / 12793 posts

Oct 8, 2015

You know my experience with TTC#3.

We were gung-ho for four then after two arrived flirted with how easy it would be to be two and through and the next day find out I was unexpectedly pregnant.

I'm happy that I didn't let my practical side make the decision and that it was made for us.
lilyann
nectarine / 2878 posts

Oct 8, 2015

I want a 3rd (and possibly a 4th) very badly! I want to keep working full time though and 3 in daycare is going to be very expensive. We are kind of playing it by ear but I know I do not want to be pregnant until next year. DS1 just turned 3, DS2 is 16 months.
MamaBehr
pomegranate / 3275 posts

Oct 8, 2015

I'm on my fourth (currently at my three hour glucose test!) and I can say this. Going from two to three was EASY! Like really really really easy. And not because he was an easy baby (which he kind of was, but my husband had broken his leg in two places fifteen days before the baby was born so that negates any baby easiness hahaha). I'm predicting the fourth to be just as easy.

You're perspective changes. Things that first time and second time moms worry about, don't matter as much (not to deminish those worries, they are super valid). You have multitasking down. You can entertain children at different stages of their lives easily, and you can use the oldest to help!!!!!
I love having a big family, and even though I'm way over this pregnancy, I'm so excited to have my four little ducklings here
Mamasig
pomegranate / 3565 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@MamaBehr: thank you for saying adding a third is easy!!!!!
coopsmama
cantaloupe / 6059 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@oliviaoblivia: I want to just wake up and find out I'm pregnant bahaha. I think part of it for me is that my first two weren't planned either since we had never used any sort of BC during the entirety of our relationship until we had M - if you can call PNP birth control haha. I kept expecting PNP to fail us but going on strong now at 15 months PP.

@lilyann: You're making me feel better about the gap. My first two are so close and my second and third and subsequent won't be due to finances and everyone seems to be pregnant again by the baby's first year so I'm glad we're not the only ones who have waited a bit to TTC number three.

@MamaBehr: This is so reassuring to me! Going from one to two wasn't hard for us but that made me think certainly two to three would be hard, but maybe not? I love your perspective!
lilyann
nectarine / 2878 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@coopsmama: I was kind of thinking about a larger gap between 2 and 3. My first two are 20 months apart and I have really enjoyed the age gap. I am a little sad about having a larger gap but also thinking about having two more closer together...almost like having 2 sets....hope that makes sense! ha
lilteacherbee
cantaloupe / 6791 posts

Oct 8, 2015

I want a third, but #2 is only 2 months, soooo... I'm unsure about the timing because my two are 20 months apart and it's been tough. BUT I hear that I'm gonna love it once they get a bit older.

@lilyann: A high school friend of mine has 4 girls. They are now almost 8, 6, 2, and 8 months. So her first two are about 20 months apart, then a 3.5 year break, then 18 months between the last two.
lilyann
nectarine / 2878 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@lilteacherbee: 4 girls? AHH! ha. What does she think of the spacing? That is a little bigger (4 years) than the gap I am hoping for but very similar spacing!
Mamasig
pomegranate / 3565 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@lilyann: my friend has two sets like that. Her 1st two are boys that are about 18 months apart. Then maybe 4 years later she had a girl and two years after that another girl. Two perfect sets!
coopsmama
cantaloupe / 6059 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@lilyann: Yep, we want sets of two most likely, as well! Our first are so close it's just hard to imagine anything else!
Ginabean3
pomegranate / 3401 posts

Oct 8, 2015

We are considering three and I actually dress the pregnancy part more than the "having a third child part". By the time we have three, the oldest will be in preschool full time so that will take a lot of stress off having three at home! When I was pregnant with #2 I had two of my best friends pregnant at the exact same time (both already with LOs the same age as my #1) so it made the pregnancy fun and bearable. But they are both definitely stopping at two so if I go for three I'll be doing it alone! And that makes me
nervous. It's a long 9 months lol.
sera_87
pomegranate / 3604 posts

Oct 8, 2015

I always wanted 3 so it was no hesitation full steam ahead

Now currently wrestling with the idea of having a 4th and, subsequently, a fifth (I mean at that point what's one more?). There's gonna be a fairly large age gap between 3 & 4 in any case.
NorCalWayfarer
nectarine / 2134 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@sera_87: Hahah love this! If I can convince my DH to have three I'm hoping he'll just give up and agree to a 4th also
sera_87
pomegranate / 3604 posts

Oct 8, 2015

@NorCalWayfarer: I've got SO to tentatively agree up to 7. Except he looked a bit green around the gills when he was agreeing ......

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