I have spent the last couple of days on one heck of a roller coaster...part of it hormonal, part of it due to a very stressful week at work (which I managed like a champ), and part of it due to gnawing anxiety.

It comes...it goes. I'm not compulsively DOING anything, though I am ruminating obsessively about this pregnancy, symptom-spotting (I also handle HCG like a champ, so symptoms are mild), and fretting...and then trying to calm the %#*! down because I know that's not doing any good.

I'm 5 weeks 6 days today and feeling somewhat petrified about my ultrasound next week...part of me thinks "6 days is such a long time...just relax until then" and then part of me thinks that's really soon and I need to "be prepared."

I've had lots of ultrasounds, no big deal there...but my last two obstetric ultrasounds (detecting a missed m/c where there had been a heartbeat a few weeks earlier and an empty sac after IVF) really rocked my world.

So far, I've had a HPT where I thought "gosh, that's a much lighter line than I've seen before" and two betas, both of which were on the lower side (I know that doesn't necessarily mean anything) but doubling well within the 72-hour window that is supposedly normal. I'm just way more nervous with this pregnancy than I've EVER been before...and am feeling like a bit of a basket case.

If, God forbid, we have another loss, DH and I have agreed that I will definitely seek counseling before we decide our next steps. Heck, if this pregnancy is "it," I may need counseling anyway!

I thought about putting this in the Mental Health section...but it's awfully specific.

Doesn't anyone have any recommendations for how to be less crazy, under the circumstances? This pregnancy needs optimism and hope...I'm sadly just not there yet.