Long back story, but my SIL and BIL lost their baby girl at 26 weeks last summer. She went in for an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat, went through labor, named her, etc. They continue to struggle and I honestly can't even remember the last time I saw them (we live 3 hours away).
We have tried for our second child for almost 3 years and in the last year of it, went through 3 IVF transfers (2 retrievals, and 1 frozen transfer). They knew that we were doing IVF but were not filled in details as each procedure went by. We did not give them specifics, so all they know is that we were struggling to get pregnant and using IVF as a means to get there.
Well, the 3rd transfer worked and I'm now 15 weeks along. It is now approching the time that we should tell them about the baby. We didn't in July as that was their baby girl's birthday and not so far in August as BIL's father passed away two weeks ago. Their anniversary is this weekend. There never seems to be a good time, but we can only wait so long.
Ok, my question, how and what is the best way to tell them about the baby? Having been through infertility for so long, I told DH that I do NOT want to tell them over the phone or in person. That puts them in such a hard position to be forced into a reaction. That isn't fair to them and I have been through it enough on the infertility side that I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm thinking a heart felt text or possibly an email (but I'm not sure how often they check their email).
Thoughts of how and what to say? I wanted some more perspective. We did tell DH's other sister last night and she reinforced that this likely shouldn't be over the phone or in person. Thank you ladies