Hellobee Boards

@periwinklebee: I've been eating pretty healthy this week so maybe I'll run an experiment and eat a hoagie and fries for dinner tonight.

I did cry this morning but that was more related to my husband being a jerk for no reason, like husbands are wont to do from time to time. (Where's the eye roll emoji?)

@Tionn3: I have a theory that it just works as being correct after afyer the fact.. I had months I "knew" and I was. See I was right! But what about the months i "knew" but then I wasn't? We forget about those because we were wrong...

@snarkybiochemist: I agree on the not giving advice. Through my whole experience, the advice that my in laws give me is awful and hurtful, and I've definitely had my sister in law who got pregnant on accident on the first go around tell me to relax and it will happen, and all it did was enrage me. Advice does not equate to empathy but for some reason lots of people think that it does.

I need to stop being so obsessive but I'm starting to wonder if I ovulated early. I just have a hard time believing that I didn't respond at all to Clomid when I always ovulate on my own.

My RE did say the fluid behind my uterus was consistent with ovulation and my lining had that "triple line" pattern, and that was CD 13. Obviously there is no way of knowing until I either get a period or not, but I think my mind is just searching for an explanation.

I also don't know how I feel about women who just know they are pregnant before taking a test. It just seems hard to believe! The month I got pregnant I had assumed I wasn't and was already planning things to try for the next month.

The day before I got my BFP I was at a party and trying my best not to symptom spot. I said to my husband how everything could be a pregnancy sign according to google and I even said that I could trip on the carpet in here and that would be a sign of pregnancy. About 20 minutes later I went to the bathroom and when I was walking back to our table I very noticeably tripped on the carpet.

I honestly think that's what made me test the next morning, but I definitely didn't know I was pregnant and was so surprised to get a BFP.

I would have no issue with someone lovingly telling me to just relax for the sake of my own mental health. It annoys me to no end that people think this will allow you to get or stay pregnant. Right after our loss, my husband came home and said he was talking to a colleague at work She had a miscarriage earlier, and was convinced it was due to stress in her previous job, with the implication that maybe you just need to relax and then loss won't happen. I was seriously annoyed at my husband for even suggesting that could be a cause of our problems. I truly think there is a deep-seated cultural norm that blames the woman for these things.

My doctor actually told me that he thought our loss could be for non-genetic reasons, but in the end it was the opposite. There was bleeding and placenta issues because every cell in the placenta had 23 extra chromosomes, a completely random event that is a hazard of cell division. The evidence strongly indicates that the vast majority of the time when you don't get pregnant, or don't stay pregnant - in the absence of some other diagnosed problem - it's a genetic issue, and you could relax all you want, but good luck with that getting you a baby. It's a relief actually, I don't have to worry about screwing this up.

@periwinklebee: Like you said, there's no way relaxing could keep you from miscarrying. The majority of miscarriages are caused by chromosomal issues and there's really no way to prevent them from happening. I do think that there is an underlying belief that the woman is to blame when things go wrong with a pregnancy, which is unfortunate.

I was never told relaxing would help me get pregnant last year when I was trying to conceive, but when I told my parents how stressed I was about trying they wanted me to relax for my own sanity. It took my parents 2 years to get pregnant with my older sister and they knew that stressing about it wouldn't make it happen any faster.

BFN at 11 DPO. AF due today. Last night in bed I was trying to tell myself I'm probably not pregnant so I won't get too sad if AF shows.

I really hate TTC. We're almost at two years now.

I wanted to share a story with you guys, that I think I had previously shared a little of. A month or so ago, I was telling my friend about starting on Clomid and I also said what great support you ladies on this board have been. She listened and said she was glad I had a community, but also said that she was there to talk to if I ever wanted to. She and I used to be really close. We lived together for two years and supported each other through a lot of rocky times with boys and jobs and family. Then I moved away, and eventually she and her partner moved to the same town where DH and I live. They wanted to leave the SF Bay Area because it was getting so expensive and were looking for someplace else to put down roots, and decided to go to a city where they already had friends. They actually lived with DH and I for 7 months, which we had initially thought would work out but in the end was really stressful and put a strain on our friendship. We've talked over a lot of the stuff that went wrong and put most of it behind us. But one thing we never talked about is also something I just can't let go, and it's one of the reasons I haven't really gone to her for TTC support. We told them we were TTC shortly after they moved in with us. At that point I had no idea it would be so emotional and stressful so it didn't seem like anything I might want to keep to myself. A couple of days later she told me that it made her sad that we were TTC because she was afraid that she might not see me as much and that our lives would start to diverge in really tangible ways. And then she added that her partner was also bummed about us TTC because he and my DH were talking about starting a brewery and he was afraid they wouldn't have time for that if we had a baby. I was just like... totally shocked. I was like, this is not about you. And it's not about some goddamn brewery. I just could not believe that a so-called close friend would make my TTC about them! And would have the audacity to TELL me what they were thinking! Like sure, have your own weird internal selfish thoughts, we all do, but don't tell me about them! Anyway, that is part of the reason I don't go to her for support with TTC. The other reason is that she has said multiple times that she knows she 100% does not want kids so I don't think she'd really get how hard this is. If we had not been in public with a big group of friends when she had said I can go to her for support I would have told her why I wasn't - because she was so insensitive when we first started to TTC. I just didn't want things to get weird or emotional. But dang! I'm still really hurt and I just can't let it go. I will tell her one day, next time it comes up...

@bizwitch: I'm sorry about your friend. I can definitely understand why you haven't shared anything more with her about TTC. And I hear you on not being able to concentrate on work. Ttc is so consuming at times and really does distract me!

@bizwitch: I'm sorry about your friend. That's hard to go through with people you were once close with. I keep those internal feelings between myself and my husband (and my bee friends). My BFF just got married and was immediately trying; I told DH that if she got preg before us I might get a little sad and upset. But I would never tell HER that! Anyway, you're not out until AF shows up--you know this! Hoping those massive boobs of yours end up in BFP

@periwinklebee: Hoping for that BFN for you soon! Weird thing to say on this board, LOL.