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Im so sorry. Yes its amazing how having 2 kids MORE than doubles the work!

DD2 is almost 5 months now but I absolutely remember those early days. 2 weeks not no where near where you've all settled into a new routine/new normal. You need time to adjust, DS needs time to adjust... It's no wonder everyone's having meltdowns! And a 2 week old is just being a 2 week old!

Is there anyway someone can come and help (paid or not) you a few hours a week? And just make a MUST do list and adjust expectations for everything else?

Big hugs

I'm so sorry to hear this! I had almost the exact same spacing and situation! I had a baby during finals in the middle of a master's and it was crazy for a while. I took an incomplete in my class and finished up during the summer.

To be honest, the first six months with two was ok for me, because my 2nd was a pretty good sleeper, it was summer, and I was able to give myself some grace with cooking, etc., because I had low expectations. I just focused on being alive and getting outside, did a lot of self-help reading.

HOWEVER, when DS2 turned 6 months things got a lot harder. By that time he had a solid nap schedule and wasn't just napping anywhere. And my 3 year old, who was at home with me full time because we couldn't afford childcare at the time, was also taking a nap, so I was in nap jail from like 9 to 4 every day. It was the bleakest point in my life and I definitely lost my cool all the time. I was also taking three online graduate classes! And my supply dried up.

Suggestions for you:
--Therapist OR childcare, if you can afford. Both are lifelines! If no money for those, then this:

--Make it really easy to get outside. Get old baby stuff and put it out there (baby swing, whatever). We would try to get outside during DS2's nap every day so that he would not be disturbed. I focused on letting DS1 play by himself while I read or did yard work or just sat there.
--We ate a lot of roast chicken and crock pot pork! Chili that can be used for taco salads the next day. And we ate out on the days that I just couldn't take it anymore. I would get a big sheet pan and put veggies on it, then put frozen chicken breasts on top and put it in the oven. It wasn't gourmet, but I kept reminding myself "it is food to feed our bellies" and that's really all that matters.
--Ordering used books on Amazon is about as cheap as getting to the library, and no fear of late fees, and no dragging kids out of the house.
--I tried to get out for "me time" once a week. Usually Wednesday nights or on the weekends. DH watched kids. I did most of my school work on those nights. I just didn't feel like it was useful to try and do that with the kids running around. I usually read during naps and then did my actual school work during my "me time."
--I stopped doing any kid enrichment activities that made messes, made my life hard. No more pinterest, crafts, etc. That was always a trigger for my frustration if I spent all morning setting up an activity and then my DS didn't care about it, or DS2 woke up and I had to clean it up.
--I decluttered my house so that I didn't feel as trapped by my surroundings. I did KonMari!
-- If you have a double stroller, it makes life easier. At the time we lived within walking distance of a park and I could burn at least three hours just by getting them ready, walking there, playing, walking back. It had a water feature, which made it even more of a time burner.
-- Maybe get into running/jogging. That's at least one form of exercise you can do with two kids without much interruption. I signed up for a 5k and trained for that during that time. When my older DS complained about being in the stroller I just explained to him that this was mommy's time to get healthy, which didn't make him stop complaining, but at least helped him to understand.
-- Consider signing older DS for some enrichment that allows you to leave him there, or at least just sit there. Mine did gymnastics and it was great, one hour of just me sitting there while he did something fun.
-- Put a rocking chair or something outside and allow yourself to go out there when you start to feel like you're going to lose it. There were MANY times where I put my youngest LO in the crib while he was screaming, put the TV on for older DS or put him in his childproof room, and just sat outside for 5 minutes to cool down. It also allowed them to cool down when they were freaking out in unison.

Ultimately, it got better. My older one is now 4 and in pre-k 5 days a week, I graduated and started working again. But I would not go back to those days for anything in the world. It was so hard.

I know exactly how you feel and it will get better with time and patience. It will.

Babywearing? Use that to keep your baby comforted and close while you spend time with your son. Or when baby is sleeping, take time to give your son a quiet activity while he sits next to you and you do you homework.

Ask DH to help with house chores when he gets home or take over watching the kids while you take a hot shower or a walk to recharge.

I'm sorry. This sounds so hard and you sound so stressed and overwhelmed. I think you've gotten a lot of good advice, and the main thing I would add is to try to cut yourself a lot of slack. If you need to take some time off school, do it. If the house is a mess, it'll get clean at some point. Take care of yourself and your kids. It will get easier, and at that point you can pick up some of the balls that you put down. And I very much agree with @Mrs. Sketchbook - you HAVE to do something, do it while the kids are awake. Put the baby in a sling, set the toddler up with some tv or an activity, and vacuum, then when they nap you can just read or watch tv or take a shower or do something that helps you feel like you.

@bubblegum: the adjustment to two was so much harder than I expected- and I wasn't also in school!! It just feels never ending. I had so so so many breakdowns. I don't have any advice besides doing anything you can to take the burden off you, and seeking help (childcare, therapist) if you need it.

1. Get a mother's helper. Like even a high school student can be fine. We had a 16 year old walk a block to the park and run our oldest for 2 hours in the morning and then play in the house with him for a bit, feed him lunch, and then she left. Then I could put him down for nap. The first few months we had to have that morning help a few times a week or I was going to lose it. I would 100% cut just about anything out of my budget (and did) to afford that help for the first 3 months of the baby's life. Or I would put your eldest in some kind of preschool program even if it's a few days a week.

@bubblegum: Thinking of you

Hello fellow April mama!
Most of my advice has already been mentioned. We are members of the Y and Ez loves the childcare. I go and just bring a book to read to have a few hours of one kid time. During his nap time the baby is usually asleep at some point during that time and I take those moments for myself. Tea and Netflix or a nap or zone out with my phone.
I wear the baby a lot too. If I need to do the dishes or cook or something and Ez and the baby are both acting up, I give myself grace and set Ez up with a Daniel tiger episode and wear the baby to do whatever chore. He is getting more screen time than I would like but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
Keep going! Every day that all survive is a step closer to it getting easier. At least that is what I tell myself.

@bubblegum: