Hellobee Boards

Honestly I remember my friends who would love to have my troubles- my single or divorced girlfriends who have the freedom and career success I sometimes wish for but who look at me and wish they had a supportive partner and a child. Im sorry it sucks right now. It is really hard. I hope this, or something else helps lift your spirits soon.

I'm sorry a much younger person with no experience just got promoted above me on Friday and I thought man this is what it feels like to be old and a curmudgeon. But I'm moving on as best I can

the mommy tax is real! i'm sorry. definitely agree with PP that your time will come. is there an internal promotion you could apply for so you don't feel like you're treading water? i hear you, though, i have been feeling really frustrated with some work-related things lately--the only thing that really gives me good perspective is hanging with LO and getting some of my frustration out through a good workout.

Exactly wish a few posters have mentioned about grass being greener on the other side. My single friend who is well off, lives in an amazing apartment in the city, travels whenever, owns multiple Chanel's.... She is my best friend and while I don't think she envies "struggling" like I do, she absolutely will trade a lot of that to have a loving husband and children.

I understand what you mean through. I am not very ambitious (anymore) with my career; totally mom tracked and it is what it is. For now I care about th fact that I have time to spend with the kids in the morning and I get home by 6 everyday.

I'm sorry, it's hard to watch other people advance.

I try to force myself to not compare my success against others' in my office or line of work. I step back and remind myself that I could be a dishwasher, a field worker or a line worker. (I occasionally find myself doing tasks like that for an hour or two making my salary and it makes me so grateful). I also take it the other direction, I could be a CEO or independently wealthy. Looking at it from both extremes makes me less envious of someone so close to my circumstances.

You have a career in a growing field and a mothers' room. It sounds like you're in a good spot with prospects for a great future. Keep in touch with Miss Software Engineer. She probably recognizes you as an underutilized resource.

It took me about 6 months longer to finish my PhD because I had my first during grad school. I'll also start in a post-doc position 2-6 months later than otherwise so I can take (unpaid!!!!) time off for my second. It's worth it though, because I work to live, I don't live to work. When I feel down about my timeline or sexism in the workplace or my fat thighs, I watch videos of DS at his cutest and everything is better. Plus, I feel motivated to get out there and do my best for myself and my family.

On the other side of it...my mom was super career driven and spent so much time on her career when my brother and I were young. She loved it, and honestly I think she was still a great mom and very present in our lives, but I know that she felt that she missed out on some of our childhood. She died early (in her 50s) and on her deathbed she admitted that she wished she had spent more time with family and less on her career.

Not to say that you shouldn't get a promotion if you deserve it, or spend time on your career. But I've also taken 2 maternity leaves and probably halted my own career because of that (I've stayed in a job that has no path for advancement because it has just been easier). So I just remind myself of what my mom said when I start to wonder if I made the right choice.

I definitely let myself cry! Then,
I remind myself that this is but one quickly passing phase and that my time will come when I'm ready for it. I put my all into my current role, know that right now I'm not in a place to be able to or really want to progress much, but know that I can still learn and grow and gain valuable experience in my current position that will mean I am beyond prepared to jump when the time is right.

@codeitall: Great to hear!!