Hellobee Boards

@codeitall: Congratulations on the offer!! You said it would be 47% more than what you were making 2 months ago, does that mean you got a raise recently? What is the difference between your current salary and the offer?

This sounds like an opportunity for you to have a discussion with your current employer to see what they could counter with.

@codeitall: Congratulations! Totally agree with @Fawn: that culture is worth a lot, but if it seems like the new place has a culture that will work for you 47% more is amazing. You could go back to your current employer and see what they can offer, but they’re probably not going to be able to match that in the current climate.

It also seems like the new opportunity will give you the chance to push yourself and have an impact in the way that you don’t with your current employer, though, and for me that would be huge. I’ve also worked in an organization where people think I’m magic because I leverage code in ways that no one else there does. It’s a great feeling, but for me being the big fish in a small pond made it harder for me to keep growing. Moving on from a comfortable position gave me the opportunity build to doing exactly what I wanted long term (2 jobs in) and has come with similar raises to what you’re looking at in each of my last two job changes. It doesn’t always work out like it did for me, but saying yes to opportunities is powerful.

@codeitall: the 35 hours a week and flexibility is big. I mean, it does seems like there’s a choice between (temporarily?) mommy-tracking yourself for more flexibility now vs taking a job with more pay/more responsibility/more hours. But it all depends on the overall situation—who is the breadwinner, who is the primary parent, who does the bulk of emotional labor and child care and remembering things and supermarket shopping etc etc etc.

If you have a spouse that is willing and able to take on more home responsibilities if you suddenly get a job where you are working 50 hours a week, does that sound good to both of you? If so, could be a good move. If not, maybe figure out the pressure points, how you’ll farm those tasks out and how much that will cost vs the more stress on you. Make a whole pros/cons list. There’s nothing wrong with your husband being the primary parent or with you guys getting a nanny/cleaners/meal services.

I've let go of a nice job offer that would have been a pay bump, a bigger responsibility, and a chance to move to a different town. I was really torn because I was so sad thinking of leaving everything that's familiar to me - I've been at my job longer than I've had my family. I finally managed to psych myself up into a positive mindset, that this is new and exciting and I'll make new connections, and then DH said very casually "yeah, this means no more kids for us anytime soon, you've got to prove yourself in this job first." To him this was no big deal, just an afterthought. To me, that was the sound of brakes screeching. After that I didn't want this job any more, it was just a question of how to back out relatively gracefully.

Just as well, I guess. If I took the job I wouldn't have DD1. And I'm definitely stuck career wise in my old job, but the more I work here the more I respect this team, and I'm proud to be part of it. I like how they're responding to the events of this year. I like the decisions they make. I kind of regret not making that leap into something more high-powered, but it's not the level of regret that keeps one up at night.

@codeitall: So awesome that you think you can get your house you want faster. So, one of the things my husband and I want is the same house we have now with a bigger yard and a pool. Umph. We both need to make more. So, if we make more, we work more, and then will we be there to enjoy the pool? This is why I'm personally feeling stuck. I'm not yet ready to work more! I really hope you figure this out. Please keep us updated! FWIW, I know two people who left their jobs for a "better" job, and then went back to their old jobs really quickly. So, it happens!

Based on personal experience of my husbands.... I think if you can get the flexibility you want with the new job, and the growth opportunity is there too, there is no reason to stay at your current job, esp not if they're only willing to match up to 75%, and not even if they match 100%. My husband changed jobs 2 years ago and just got a new job last week. The first job change, he was very hesitant and also torn when his current employer offered to match the new offer completely. It was a job he was at for 11 years, he had a great network, was in an amazing leadership pipeline, so he did talked to few higher ups for career advice... and the consensus was that he should take the new job with the two biggest points being if they're willing to match now cause you threaten to leave, it just shows how under paid you were to them in the first place! More importantly they also agreed that if you are willing to stay for a salary bump, it could possibly stunt future raises/growth cause they know you're comfortable there and you've shown you'll stay put.

@codeitall: Congratulations on getting your current employer to match and give you new opportunities!! They clearly know your worth