The organization I work for recently hired a new president (my second level manager). In two months half of his direct reports have left and now he’s starting to engage with people at my level. My boss (who I loved working with) is gone with no replacement yet and we all believe at least one if not both of the other people who reported to her are on the chopping block. I appear to be safe. But if I’m the lone survivor or one of two survivors from our leadership group I can’t imagine the culture will be positive for me/us. I’ve been looking for something new but covid economy and all... I’ve also been thinking about walking away and being a full time mom for a little while to DD who is 10 months old (which would work for our family cash-wise with a small amount of belt tightening). Just wondering if anyone had been through anything similar and how you navigated the situation. The new president seems like someone I don’t want to work for so I’m not planning to stay long term, just wondering if I should end it now.
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I just want to say that I'm sorry. Working as a parent is hard enough right now and your situation sounds so difficult. I hope you find the right answer for you and your family.
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@karenbme: I say if you can make it work financially I would leave. You could always do something on the side or pt if you stay home?
Work culture is huge, it's so hard when it's toxic. I'm sorry
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@Bing: @winter_wonder: Thanks... I so wish I could trade places with the woman who is definitely getting fired because she is the primary breadwinner for her family and will probably have to move with her two middle school aged kids and I just don’t care or want to be there at all right now. If they ask anything that I’m uncomfortable with (lay off team members, return to on site before it feels safe, etc.) I’m going to walk away. I just don’t know if I should do it now and save myself a couple of months of stress/struggle.
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@karenbme: I say listen to your heart - since it works financially - it sounds to me like your heart is in leaving! I think my only logistical question would be can you afford to stay out of the workforce an indefinite time, since the economy is such an unknown right now. If so, go for it!
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@karenbme: I might actually stick around for a bit and see what may be in it for you if you leave. You never know if they’ll offer a buy out or settlement - even a few months salary would help set you up!
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I was in a similar-ish work situation and didn't return after maternity leave for my second child. It was a toxic work environment, my mentor/direct supervisor (who I LOVED working for) left the company, I reported up through a woman who fostered a very negative culture. I was really good at my job though, and had an opportunity for advancement and the thought of moving up there just made me feel anxious and sick....so I took that a sign and didn't go back. Sometimes it's hard...I miss working and using my brain in that way. But I don't miss that environment though, and especially now I am so happy to be home with my kids (I have three ages 5 and under). I think you've posted before about thinking about staying home with your daughter. I would say do it if you think it will make you happy. The universe might be telling you something!
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@wrkbrk: thanks... I wish there was a possibility of a buy out, I would take it in a heartbeat. But it’s clear at this point that they want me to stay.
@LadyDi: You’re right, I have posted before about being on the fence about working. I had a really hard time transitioning back when DD was 3 months old. But I love my work when the culture isn’t toxic and I worry about what challenges I would have with going back in a field where the tech is constantly evolving. Even a 12 month gap will leave me behind the curve, but I also have lots of good experience and networks, so who knows. I do feel really guilty about not using degrees I paid $$$ for (although I don’t have any remaining student debt). I have no doubt that I would also love being a stay at home parent, we’ve kept DD out of daycare since March and being with her all day has been so precious. Are you planning to go back into the workforce at any point?
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@karenbme: but you may find something even better in several years after being at home with your child for awhile. Even if you dont use the degree for several years (or ever again of you don't want to) I dont think it's wasted bc it made you who you are, gave you that academic experience, etc.
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Normally I am leery of leaving the workforce if you plan on wanting to get back into it because it's an unfortunate truth that many women have to either start over or at least start at a lower level than they were at previously when they come back. Though to be honest, I don't know what line of work you're in so that might not be the case, especially if you keep up with your contacts and continue to network. However, with everything that is going on, I don't think people will bat an eye as much with a time gap on your resume. This is a decision that you will have to make for yourself, with your SO, to decide what's best for you and your family.
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If you can swing it financially, I would. But depending on what you do, just be prepared for the possibility that you might be out of work longer than you think or would like to be...
Ultimately you can stay for a while and see what happens, but if it starts to affect you mentally and you're bringing that back home, then it's time to leave for sure. I would also just put it out there that if you get laid off then you can at least collect unemployment! But you're saying it's not likely?
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FWIW, I just quit my job to SAHM and life is much easier now. Could be a honeymoon period but my stress level is much more manageable
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@graceandjoy: Yeah, I’m definitely not getting laid off...
it would be so much easier if they would just make the decision for me even without severance or unemployment. When it rains it pours, though, and suddenly after 2 months of sending out resumes I’ve gotten 4 interview requests, completed two interviews and have second interviews scheduled for both all in the past five days. All for jobs I’m really interested in, two of which would be permanently remote (which is my ideal). So we’ll see.
@ChitownRo: Yeah, that must feel great, although I agree there’s probably a honeymoon period. I do feel like getting out of the toxic environment I’m in will be a huge stress relief no matter what the plan is, and I really do love my work when I’m in a positive environment and doing the specialized part of my job.
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@karenbme: i am so excited for you to hear this update!! fingers crossed for you! it's funny, six months ago i'd have told you i could never do a remote job and now i totally think permanent remote sounds great. hope the little one is doing great!
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@karenbme: Fully remote would be awesome! I hope something pans out! I would totally jump at an opportunity like that too. My biggest headache currently surrounds childcare since I can't WFH as much as I'd like to.
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@nwm: Thanks! I'm in data science, so permanent remote has been an option for me for a while due to demand for talent. I didn't think I wanted remote before, but I've loved it these past few months, and opening myself up to jobs outside VT is huge in terms of finding things that will help me continue to grow.
@graceandjoy: Thanks! Permanent remote doesn't really solve my childcare challenges since DD is 11 months now and it can be next to impossible to work and keep an eye on her at the same time, but at least it would be a guarantee that I wouldn't be opening myself up to the liability of an office environment right now. We're actually currently paying for a daycare spot we're not using because we know at some point this is going to stop working, and want to be ready for that.
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@karenbme: That's true. With a baby it's hard! For me my husband has been full time babysitter to our 8 month old; but me being home will alleviate him with my older girls once they're home from school.
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