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Pregnancy After Loss Support Thread

  1. ChiCalGoBee

    GOLD / pear / 1973 posts

    @Mrs. Champagne: Oh gosh. Glad your first appointment is coming up but clearly the u/s is what's going to hopefully set your mind at ease. Fingers crossed they can get you in early next week to take a look.

  2. Shantuck

    persimmon / 1467 posts

    @Mrs. Champagne: My blighted ovum wasn’t detected until my ultrasound at 9 weeks. I’m 9 weeks on Friday and can’t help thinking that I’m going to go to my appointment on Saturday and find that I’ve been feeling like this for no good reason.

  3. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    @Mrs. Champagne: keeping my fingers crossed for you to get an earlier us and that all is well. I had similar - found out at 8 weeks during an us that baby had stopped growing. I know I’ll be nervous until I see that everything is fine on the first us.

  4. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    Got a good test last night so I made myself call the ob this morning - felt like I was going to throw up but made the appt for January 3. I’m really really hoping that all the holiday activities - including Travel and family stuff for about 10 days - will help the time move along.

  5. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    Interesting chat with my OB’s office. She wanted to schedule me for Monday. That would be 5 weeks. They do in office US - I thought that would be too soon to really see anything and stress me out. So I pushed her to schedule it for the following Monday - 18 December - so we have a better chance of seeing something. I was expecting first appointment after the holidays at 8 weeks. Is 6 weeks still too early? Granted I know i ovulated early this cycle since we BD 7, 9, and 11 - had likely ovulation pains on cd 12.

    Perhaps 6 weeks is fine and I’ll see enough to make me feel relieved?

  6. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    @MrsJBeeG: for my son i was seeing an re so 6 weeks was the norm. I think they hope to see a fetal pole but you may see a heartbeat - just not guaranteed that early. We did see one with my son and he measured 6w exactly i think. That’s exciting it’s so soon!

    Mary’s post reminded me to add - i always felt like the re had better equipment than the ob. Of course it will vary by office but good to keep in mind for expectations.

  7. MaryM

    pomelo / 5086 posts

    @MrsJBeeG: At six weeks you can see the gestational sac, but it will be iffy whether or not you see the heart beat yet.

    I went in at six and half weeks this pregnancy after some bleeding, and the GS measured on target, but we didn't see a heart beat. I had to wait a week and a half to go back for a follow up (at which point everything was fine).

    So I would go in KNOWING that you may not see a heart beat, so try not to freak out.

    Although in my case, I think part of it was that I saw the nurse instead of the doctor. I don't think she's as skilled, and I think if she had angled the wand differently, we might have seen more

  8. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    @MaryM: @bhbee: thanks ladies. I get nervous just thinking about going to the OB. The doctor did the US the last time so I assume he’ll do it again. He was pretty good about taking his time - realized I had miscarried but looked to ensure everything looked normal before we talked about options to deal with the missed miscarriage.

    I will hope to see a heartbeat but will go in knowing that it may not happen. It is really soon. I just hope if all is normal that he’ll bring me back in soon after so I’m not waiting forever to know what’s going on in there.

  9. periwinklebee

    pomegranate / 3130 posts

    @bhbee: Gorgeous line!!!!! So hopeful for you!

    @MrsJBeeG: I would personally prefer an appointment at eight or nine weeks for a few reasons. First, if you see a heartbeat at six weeks, the odds of loss are still somewhat high (relative to just having seen a positive test), whereas they've fallen a lot by eight to nine weeks. There's a big drop in the miscarriage probability between 7-8 weeks, as a first round of critical development is taking place, then another big drop at 12-13 weeks. This is obviously less of an issue if you can schedule another ultrasound for a few weeks later, but at my practice they only do one scan first tri in the absence of other complications. Also, depending on the quality of the equipment, you may not be able to see much. Finally, it can lead to more and longer limbo, which sucks.

    I have to get an early ultrasound, because of a history of molar pregnancy. This time I was traveling and managed to put it off until six weeks. My provider uses a high risk ultrasound clinic at a very good hospital, the equipment is the very latest so there was little risk of not seeing something if it was there. However, after that I didn't get any more information until the NIPT, whereas I feel like it would have been more reassuring to have the scan after the 7-8 week big drop in the probability of loss so it would be a stronger signal that odds were in our favor.

  10. MaryM

    pomelo / 5086 posts

    @MrsJBeeG: I totally get the OB anxiety. Up until now, I've made DH rearrange his schedule so he can meet me for all appointments. And my OB is willing to see me as often as needed, so there have been A LOT! He's only missed one.

    But with our third pregnancy, I was alone when I found out she was dying, and I think being alone was more traumatic than anything, so he had to go!

    And even though I'm in the third tri and I know it's the holidays and time is tighter for him, I'm still nervous about going by myself to the next couple.

  11. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    @bhbee: congrats on the line. It looks awesome!

  12. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    @periwinklebee: that’s super hard to not have an 8 week scan. I learned last time that i really need to be 8 weeks too. I have long cycles so at my last 8w appt i was closer to 7. I bet a week later would have given more info on the failing pregnancy, who knows but likely. Thankfully this time with the holidays it just works out that I’ll be 9w lmp so at least 8w along.

    I may be asking you for your Doppler brand after that appt if it goes well ... I’m going to beg her to let me come back in 3 weeks for the nipt vs the usual 4.

  13. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    @periwinklebee: thank you for your perspective. I will mull it over - I doubt this is a high tech US - it is internal (forget the correct term) one though. I was thrown when she wanted me to come in on Monday. I wonder if it’s also because I did have an early loss the last time. I think I’ll just push to be seen again before the NIPT.

    Luckily DH is able to go - he was a huge help the last time so I’d want him there.

  14. periwinklebee

    pomegranate / 3130 posts

    @MrsJBeeG: So glad your husband will be able to make it!

    @bhbee: I'm really glad that the timing of the appt works out well, and will be thinking of you between now and then If you want you are more than welcome to borrow my doppler - you can feel free to wall me your address when you're ready, or if it's easier I can just send the brand name. I hope you'll also be able to get nipt done earlier - my doctor at first said come in and get the blood draw at 12 weeks but when I asked if it had to be done then, she said actually anytime between 10.5 and 13 weeks is fine.

  15. MaryM

    pomelo / 5086 posts

    @bhbee: on NIPT...the first time I saw my OB, he pushed me to wait until 12 weeks because it's not accurate if you go too early.

    This pregnancy, he knew I was confident with dates and they lined up with the early ultrasound, so he let me do it at 10 weeks.

  16. ChiCalGoBee

    GOLD / pear / 1973 posts

    @bhbee: GORGEOUS line! Look at that!!
    @MrsJBeeG: So I was scheduled for my first look at 8 weeks, but due to my husband's travel schedule I moved it up 4 days to 7.5 weeks. We very fortunately saw a baby with a heartbeat that was measuring the correct CRL (even a touch ahead). My doctor is seeing me again at 10 weeks to double check things are still progressing well. I will say that seeing the HB was a reassurance, but I'm still feeling very much in limbo. However, I think that'd be the case post-loss no matter when I was seen-and there was no way I was waiting until 9/10 weeks! If they're willing to scan you at 6 and 8/9, I say why not?!
    @MaryM: Glad to hear your did NIPT at exactly 10 weeks-that is when I'm planning to do it. With ovulation it's might even be 10 and 1, but he's going by LMP. I'm doing it on 12/22, so anticipating I won't get results until after the first of the year.

  17. Shantuck

    persimmon / 1467 posts

    I’m reluctant to share my news here since pregnancy after a loss is hard enough. I went in for my first ultrasound today (I should be 9 weeks) and the baby measured 8 weeks but there was no heartbeat. I’ll be scheduling another d&c for this week. Anyway, sending love and good vibes to everyone. My daughter is a rainbow baby so I’m reminding myself that without my last loss, she wouldn’t be in my life.

  18. Mrs. Champagne

    coconut / 8182 posts

    @Shantuck: oh no I am so so sorry for your loss.

  19. ChiCalGoBee

    GOLD / pear / 1973 posts

    @Shantuck: I am so, so sorry to read this update. Sending lots of love to you.

  20. periwinklebee

    pomegranate / 3130 posts

    @Shantuck: I'm so, so sorry

  21. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    @Shantuck: I am so sorry.

  22. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    @Shantuck: so sorry to read this. You are in my thoughts at such a difficult time.

  23. delight

    pomelo / 5295 posts

    @Shantuck: I am so sorry. Take care of yourself.

  24. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    Since there isn’t an august due date board, I need to share. I had the roughest weekend this weekend. Just felt awful - tired, sore, and queasy. Then last night I started to get achy and hot followed by horrible nausea. And my skin hurt to touch it. Bloating was insane and I had horrible burps as my body tried to clear it out. I tried to sleep it off but when I had to get up to go to the bathroom (due to all the water I’m trying to drink) - I was throwing up sick. It helped a little as the nausea did finally go away after that. I assume I had “morning sickness” in the middle of the night after fighting it for hours. I’m feeling a bit better this morning (haven’t gotten out of bed yet). I was so incredibly miserable.

    I’m only 4w6d so this seems pretty severe to me this early. I don’t think it’s a cold or flu as i haven’t been feeling off like that at all.

    Anyone with advice on how to cope? I figure if the vomiting and nausea keeps going I’ll contact my OB to talk to him in the next few days since I don’t see him until next Monday. I have a demanding job that requires concentration so I can’t really afford to just try to endure my work days for too long.

    I know I should be grateful that I’m pregnant. And I am but if I have too many weekends like this in the first trimester - I don’t know what I’ll do.

  25. ChiCalGoBee

    GOLD / pear / 1973 posts

    @MrsJBeeG: hm.....I am pretty fortunate to not have a ton of vomiting while pregnant so I’m no expert, but the fact that you were hot and your skin was super sensitive makes me think you might have a stomach bug? If it persists maybe not, but hopefully it won’t continue to be that intense! Perhaps call your doc to ask if there’s anything you can take (Diclegis?) if it continues? Hang in there

  26. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    @ChiCalGoBee: I’d be okay if it was a short stomach bug because then i won’t be facing the posibility of more nights like that.

    I am doing better this morning - tired and sore in spots and a tad bit queasy. Going to try to go for a walk for my exercise in a bit as I’ve read where exercising can help fight morning sickness in the long run.

  27. ChiCalGoBee

    GOLD / pear / 1973 posts

    @MrsJBeeG: I hear this, too-that exercise can help with morning sickness. I'm a pretty avid runner and have kept it up through all pregnancies, and do wonder if that's helped my nausea? It makes me feel good so I figure it's a win no matter what. Hope you continue to feel better!!

  28. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    @MrsJBeeG: being sore does make it sound viral ... i hope that’s it so it’s short lived!!

  29. MrsJBeeG

    kiwi / 501 posts

    @bhbee: Anything is possible. I’ve been terribly queasy all day when I move that I don’t think it’s a virus. I think my skin being sore is because it’s sore where my veins are closer to the surface on my legs. It’s really tender but I’m noticing crazy spreading of spider veins since getting pregnant. Not so happy about that. 😬

    Like everything else about this - time will tell.

  30. periwinklebee

    pomegranate / 3130 posts

    @Shantuck: Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you this week as you go in for the D&C. I know loss always really sucks, but there's a unique type of stress to it for those who've already been through IF and a history of loss. I'm so sorry you have to be in this situation again

  31. periwinklebee

    pomegranate / 3130 posts

    @MrsJBeeG: Don't hesitate to call for diclegis if you're not feeling well. I got on it relatively early and still puked on average once a day (and lived on bagels), but I could at least be functional for work - I'm so glad I didn't wait til it was really bad to get the prescription, as I don't want to know what it would have been like without it.

    I've had the sensitive, itchy skin issue (not just on my belly but also on my back and legs) - though more second and third tri. Rubbing oil on it helps a bit....

  32. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    @Shantuck: I’ve been thinking about you too we are here if we can help at all.

  33. Shantuck

    persimmon / 1467 posts

    Thanks all. I'm doing ok. It was a hard weekend but mostly because I'm phyiscally feeling like such crap and chasing two kids around (including a 1 year old who has had a fever/vomiting bug all week last week and only wants to be held by me but still seems so uncomfortable). I just look forward to feeling better physically. I remember with my last D&C, the physical relief (i.e., no more crazy hormonal fatigue, nausea, etc.) was almost instantaneous.

  34. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    I have to admit to someone that i bought more frers today at 5w tomorrow. Ridiculous but was having a big anxiety day and needed a little reassurance (which is silly since i know many things can still go wrong but it helped).

    I also tried to tell a good friend in another state today but couldn’t make myself do it. She knows about my losses but somehow saying it out loud is still beyond me. Part of me wants to tell my mom at Christmas but I think she might have trouble keeping it to herself, even if i could do it.

  35. periwinklebee

    pomegranate / 3130 posts

    @Shantuck: Ugh, this sounds miserable I hope that the D&C brings quick physical relief and also that your daughter feels better soon.

  36. periwinklebee

    pomegranate / 3130 posts

    @bhbee: I don't think it's dumb at all, if testing makes you feel more at ease, test away...Early pregnancy just plain sucks, whatever it takes to feel better is completely justified.

    I also had a really hard time telling people, though I didn't even try until after we had the genetic results back and there wasn't really an alternative since I was starting to show. Until you're read to tell people IRL, we'll be excited for you in their place

  37. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    @periwinklebee: yeah, i think my decision may be made by how wiped out / sick i am by 7 weeks when we will be visiting both families. Pretty sure we will not tell my in laws until after the ultrasound though. Dh told them last time in the same call he told them about the d&c

  38. ChiCalGoBee

    GOLD / pear / 1973 posts

    @Shantuck: Thinking of you all the time

  39. ChiCalGoBee

    GOLD / pear / 1973 posts

    @bhbee: Oh, friend. You don't even want to know how many tests I bought, and used. It was a LOT. My only caution is to *not* use them after 6 weeks (but you probably already knew that)!

  40. bhbee

    grapefruit / 4091 posts

    @ChiCalGoBee: yeah i have one left and i figure i better take it this week and really be finished. i guess it just feels like doing something at a time when there’s really nothing to do but wait!

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