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Hello ladies! And congratulations to all of you
I am 5 weeks today, and it's been 5 months since our loss.
I feel like I am definitely still grieving for the baby I lost, and don't feel as excited this time around. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to be pregnant again and want this baby very much, but sometimes I feel like my heart is more concerned with my loss. I wonder if it's because I was pregnant for eight weeks that time, and right now it's only been five so maybe I'm protecting myself.... I wonder if we reach eight weeks, if I'll start to feel more then.
I also find that every time I go to the bathroom I expect to see blood. And I was terrified about having sex yesterday, as that's how my miscarriage bleeding started. I know it didn't cause it, but I can't help but be scared of it.
Pregnancy sure feels different this time around!
Good luck to all of you, I hope we all reach our due dates this time
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@travelgirl1: So glad you're here!! I understand how you feel. I'm passed the point of my last m/c (and baby is way bigger than the baby was with the m/c, since I was measuring way behind), but I'm still struggling. I'm also terrified that I'll have a missed m/c and a bad appointment at my NT screening. If I get passed that, I think things will be better. I think I also feel guilty getting excited for this LO when I'm still missing my baby. But this baby doesn't deserve that, so I'm trying to get my rear in gear!
Right there with you on the bleeding. I still check every single time (m/c started after 2 weeks of very light brown spotting). And (yikes!) DH doesn't want to have sex until second trimester because we're both so worried about it. I don't know if that's making it better or worse, though...
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@travelgirl1: ((hugs)) so happy you are here & you know we do understand those conflicting feelings. Wishing you all the best with this pregnancy & that you make each milestone without any trouble this time around.
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@GoGoSnoGirl: @Jess1483: I knew you girls would understand
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@travelgirl1: welcome! I am just a few days behind you! I am glad I am not the only one bracing for blood every time I pee! So far I am managing the anxiety pretty well--I just feel happy and I am trying to hold on to that!
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@travelgirl1: Congratulations!! I completely understand! It is still sinking in for me and I am at 9w. It has helped getting early u/s, but I don't know when it will really sink in. It's a love/hate thing going to appointments. I didn't even bleed on my first m/c and it wasn't found out until my first u/s appointment at 10w. I totally look for blood everytime, but worry more about appointments and getting bad news.
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I am only 4w5d but I feel fine. It is such a catch 22 to be happy about feeling fine but then worried that means everything is not fine...praying for patience and optimism!
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I found the heartbeat today at 10w2d. I am so thrilled and relieved!
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@Jess1483: Yay! And double yay for getting your doppler back!
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@simplyfelicity: Thank you! Thinking of you today! What time is your appointment?
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@Jess1483: 3:30 pacific time. Getting pretty nervous!
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@simplyfelicity: thinking of you!
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@Jess1483: that's awesome!!! Have you had your first u/s yet? My little guy moves a ton now but in the early days I would've loved a doppler!
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@magnolia: Yes, I had an ultrasound at 7w5d, but I was paranoid about a missed miscarriage. I'm so thrilled to have heard the heartbeat. I try not to do it too often, but I'll probably look tonight for my husband. Then take a break for a week or so. And thank you!
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I guess I'll join in here, since I may need support.
Your story: It's complicated! First pregnancy was in May of 2013, ended in m/c at 9.5 weeks. Second was in late August 2013, ended in m/c at 5 weeks. Third pregnancy was December 2013, ended in a medically necessary late term abortion at 8 months. (More info is in some of the threads I've started or my blog, which is linked in my profile. Also, feel free to ask any questions you want, I'm very open.)
Due Date: August 10, 2015
LO #: Alive, number 1. I never know whether to count R for these.
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss: So far, and it's very early so it's probably not indicative of how things will go later, very well. I think at this point I feel like I've already been through one of the the worst case scenarios, and I survived. Also, my 5 week m/c was just no big deal to me, because I had had one at 9.5 weeks and that was so much worse. This is sort of the same. I'm not even all that worried about a first tri m/c, because it's just nothing compared to a late-term loss. I mean, I'd be very upset but... it puts it in perspective I guess. And if we had another late loss, well, I know I'm strong enough to survive it.
Now when it comes time for any ultrasounds, I will NOT be so calm. It's gotten to the point that ultrasounds just seem like opportunities for doctors to give bad news. I will be a basket case every single time.
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss: I'm on progesterone, though that's more for me to feel like I'm "doing" something than anything. We may do more screenings than they normally recommend, and they're doing an ultrasound as soon as I'm 6 weeks, to give me peace of mind that there's a heartbeat. (Actually, about 6.5, just to be sure it's not too early.) Also, they're going to send me to the MFM's for my anatomy scan, because they have a higher level ultrasound machine and will be able to really be 100% certain things are okay. The midwife also specifically strongly recommended I have a doula, because of the trauma of my last birth experience. And she recommended some counselors who specialize in situations like ours at our request.
Something interesting about you: I really have no idea.
I'm not terribly interesting!
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@Torchwood: I'm so excited for you! And hopeful this pregnancy will go smoothly for you...you deserve it! Sounds like you are making some good choices with the doula and counseling.
I'm 11w2d, have found the heartbeat a couple of times, and am feeling really optimistic. My moments of anxiety are few an far
Between, especially since I often feel LO move! -
@Torchwood: welcome! Congrats on your pregnancy & I really hope this will be your take home baby. It sounds like you have been through a lot, but have a good plan for this pregnancy with the support you listed. Hope the 6.5w u/s comes quickly & looks great!
@Jess1483: I'm envious you have both found your baby by Doppler & felt kicks already! I'm 14.5wks along & haven't yet found baby girl by Doppler or felt any kicks.
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@GoGoSnoGirl: I didn't feel DS until 16 weeks, and then only when an OB pointed it out. I just know what I'm feeling now
With the doppler, you have to look pretty darn low. There are a couple good YouTube videos that helped me with my first pregnancy.
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Hi all,
Normally I'm a very private person, but joining this board because I know I can use the support!
After a m/c at 8 wks back in Sept, I just got a
yesterday. I estimate that I'm around 6 wks and I estimate my due date to be late July.I have one LO (21 months).
Haven't gone to see my doctor yet.
Overall I'm really nervous and cautiously optimistic. It's like, I'm scared to be happy/excited. With the m/c I had, it basically stopped growing at 6 weeks and then my body naturally miscarried.
I can't wait to go see the doctor but I'm also scared to go see the doctor. When we saw the doctor for the first time during the previous pregnancy, it was measuring behind from the very beginning but I was naive and didn't think anything of it. So now I'm scared of going in and getting an ultrasound and seeing it measure behind again. But then I'm trying not to have negative thoughts because I don't want to "jinx" anything. (Silly, I know).And I see healthy preggo people everywhere (my two good friends are currently pregnant). We just want this so badly....praying that it sticks this time around!
Other background...LO was a preemie (30 weeker) and that combined with the previous m/c just makes me long for a normal, full term pregnany! I'll even take the morning sickness (I never had it with LO).
Thanks ladies.....sending lots of
and support to each and every one of you!
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Exclamation mark isn't working. So for this post, let's say a { is an exclamation mark. K?
@GoGoSnoGirl: Thanks{ We do have plans in place and it definitely helps. I really hope this is our take home baby too{
@Jess1483: I'm jealous too of feeling movement already{ I'm really hoping that since I know what it feels like now I'll feel it early too. Earlier today I felt what felt like movement (100% wasn't since it's way too early, probably gas) and even though that's not what it was it reminded me that I have that to look forward to. So looking forward to it. I'm probably gonna get a doppler too. Last time I borrowed my cousin's, but she's since loaned it to someone else, and she's having her IUI next month (fingers crossed), so hopefully she'll need it herself{
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@Ginabean3: It's not silly to worry about having negative thoughts{ Irrational, yes, but not silly. I definitely know that feeling of dreading an ultrasound and the results not being what you're hoping for. It sucks to not be able to just look forward to seeing your baby. And I'm totally with you on the wanting a nice long pregnancy, and even being okay with MS{ I've never had it either, but I'm totally fine with anything if it ends in a healthy baby.
I hope you're able to get past the fear enough to enjoy it soon. And of course, if you need to talk beyond this thread, feel free to wall me. -
@Torchwood: thanks
your words and support mean a lot to me!!
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@Ginabean3: Welcome! I totally understand how you feel. I was totally shaking at my ultrasound. Our stories sound very similar. I hope your pregnancy proceeds wonderfully!
@Torchwood: Double-edged sword with the movement early. I haven't felt the baby in almost 48 hours now (though I usually only feel it at night), so now I'm freaking out. I try to use the doppler only once a week, but I might check tonight to make sure all is well.
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@Jess1483: thank you! Wishing you a wonderful and uneventful pregnancy!
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I'm going to dip my pinkie toe in here, even though it makes me nervous...or maybe because I'm nervous. POAS
this morning...beta scheduled for Monday. 
Your story: It's a long one. TTC x3years with 2 losses in there (one conceived on our own, one through IVF). I got my
today (currently 4weeks and 1day today after a frozen embryo transfer).
Due Date: 8/14
LO #:1
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss: Okay so far. I'll feel better after a beta or two...and an ultrasound...and after I clear the first trimester.
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss: I will have a (routine after IVF) ultrasound at 6-7weeks...and hopefully another at 9-10 weeks.
Something interesting about you: DH and I would like to take a toddler to Europe. How is everyone doing?
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@FliegepilzHut: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! I'm so, so thrilled for you!!!
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@Jess1483:
Thank you! It's good to see you again!
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@FliegepilzHut: EEEEKKKKK! I nearly jumped off the couch when I saw you posted in here! I am so very happy for you and wish you all the luck and peace in the world!!!
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@simplyfelicity: Thank you!
It means so much!!! -
@FliegepilzHut: so thrilled for you! Sending you only the best and most positive thoughts for this pregnancy!
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@Ginabean3: Thank you!
I hope I'm not jumping the gun...but I feel like my luck will have to change soon, so I may as well have faith!
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@FliegepilzHut: congratulations! I hope this is your rainbow baby!!
I also want my baby to be a world traveler -
@magnolia: Thank you! I'm definitely hopeful!
What locations are on your must-go-with-baby list?
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I am 40 weeks and 1 day! Can't believe how the time has flown by. I thought I would be more of a wreck than I am, I do have my paranoid days that is probably the lingering effect of two losses and subsequent thoughts that I would never get here....I mostly am just so ready to have this baby that I am able to block the negative thoughts.
Hope all you mamas are doing great regardless of where you are on this crazy journey
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@FliegepilzHut: we will probably start with places we have been already and have friends in Mexico and Central America. My SO's BFF is Japanese and I really want to go to Japan! Also I've only been to Spain so other parts of Europe too. I have a lot of big plans hehe
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@Ginabean3: missed your post earlier this week! Welcome and congratulations. Hoping this is a sticky babe for your family
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@magnolia: thank you! And congrats to you for being nearly done! FX for an easy uneventful delivery!
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@FliegepilzHut: omg I'm so happy for you!! I've followed some of your posts on the IF board as we thought we were ivf-bound. Sending you all the best thoughts, prayers & sticky dust. Congrats on your early Christmas gift!
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@magnolia: Congratulations on being so very nearly there! Wishing you all the best and much love!!!
We will have to go to Germany with LO, but I've heard Italy (where I've not yet been) is fantastically baby-friendly! @GoGoSnoGirl: Thank you!!!
I'm happy to finally join you all over here! (FX, of course.)
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Just wanted to share an update here, our rainbow baby Harvey was born on Monday night
Hope all of your pregnancies are going well. I know for me I was traumatized by loss and was convinced I would never get my baby, but now that he is here it's amazing.
With the doppler, you have to look pretty darn low. There are a couple good YouTube videos that helped me with my first pregnancy.
yesterday. I estimate that I'm around 6 wks and I estimate my due date to be late July.
I can't wait to go see the doctor but I'm also scared to go see the doctor. When we saw the doctor for the first time during the previous pregnancy, it was measuring behind from the very beginning but I was naive and didn't think anything of it. So now I'm scared of going in and getting an ultrasound and seeing it measure behind again. But then I'm trying not to have negative thoughts because I don't want to "jinx" anything. (Silly, I know).
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