Hello all-
I see that there's a "pregnant after loss" gold thread, but some of us on the "Beyond Miscarriage Support" thread thought having a newer and non-gold thread available for support throughout pregnancies. So here it is!
So:
Your story:
Due Date:
LO #:
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss:
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss:
Something interesting about you:
nectarine / 2641 posts
I'll start:
Your story: I have a 22 month-old DS who rocks. We started trying in June this year and got a BFP right away. We lost that pregnancy at 8 weeks (natural miscarriage, baby was measuring 6 weeks and had a very faint heartbeat). We waited until I got AF back and tried again. Got a BFP first full cycle. I'm now 3w and a few days pregnant.
Due Date: 6/19
LO #:2
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss: I'm surprisingly optimistic, actually. During the TWW I was totally stressed and sure I wouldn't feel good about a pregnancy, but I'm trying to hold onto "every pregnancy deserves hope." Of course, there's still part of me that is totally pessimistic, and we're keeping it much closer to the vest this time (we also aren't discussing it with DS--his belly kisses after we lost the last one were devastating.).
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss: She offered betas or an earlier ultrasound if we wanted them. I'm going to try to hold out for just a 7 week ultrasound (she normally does 8 weeks), and will otherwise only call/go in if I have spotting again (I did not spot with my first pregnancy, I did with my loss).
Something interesting about you: I don't know why I threw in this question, I don't have anything interesting to share about myself, haha! Um, I used to be a competitive jump roper!
persimmon / 1168 posts
Well I don't know if you want to count me in since my losses were in 2013 and 2011..but here it goes.
Your story: I am 31 weeks with my rainbow baby. 
I had a m/c at 6 weeks in 2011 and a missed m/c at 12 weeks in 2013. Turns out I had a hard time getting pregnant and staying pregnant due to a septum/uterine wall that was discovered and removed via hysteroscopy after my 2nd m/c.
Due Date: 12/5
LO #: 1!!!!
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss:
When I first got pregnant with this babe it was hard to believe it was real/going to stick. I still struggle with believing I am going to have a baby and not another loss but as he is due in less than 2 months it's getting real! Just another part of my story I am coping with I guess. I will be holding my breath til I deliver...
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss: I had a lot more testing done early on and saw a perinatal doctor for awhile but everything is going good!
Something interesting about you: I play 3 instruments!
persimmon / 1168 posts
Forgot to add... sending you all good 
in joining this board @FliegepilzHut: @simplyfelicity:
@Jess1483: hope your pregnancy keeps going well. The first trimester was so hard for me...
pomegranate / 3533 posts
@magnolia: Thank you! Wishing you and your LO a safe and uneventful next 2 months!
nectarine / 2784 posts
@Jess1483: wonderful news!! sending many good thoughts and prayers to you and your rainbow baby
nectarine / 2641 posts
@magnolia: Of course I want to count you! I am so excited for you, and you're so close!! I can't wait to see your little one.
nectarine / 2641 posts
@FliegepilzHut: @simplyfelicity: @ValentineMommy: I can't wait until you guys join me over here!!
@Anya: Thank you 
apricot / 279 posts
Hello!
Your story: I have a wonderful energetic toddler who's turning 22 months in a few days. I got a BFP on 7/9, blood test confirmed pregnancy on 7/10 and bleeding on 7/12- this is what the experts consider a chemical pregnancy. Fast forward to the present, I got a BFP on 10/5 which is 11 DPO and I continue to test each day.
Due Date: 6/17
LO #: 2
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss: paranoid and anxious. @Jess1483: thank you for the reminder to stay optimistic and hopeful! Of course, it'll be a gradual reminder...fighting off these bad thoughts are hard!
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss: My doctor was on vacation during my loss...the covering doctor was the one who reported to me that my HCG level had dropped to zero on 7/16. I did learn my doctor no longer does labor and delivery so I would be switching very soon. Funny thing is I'm switching back to the doctor I was seeing with my 1st until the 5th month, she was also pregnant and was due around that time, so I had to switch. I don't know if I should ask for a blood test to see the HCG level or just wait until the 10 week for the first prenatal. I guess I'll be happy if I'm not bleeding the next 2-3 weeks (yikes pessimism) Oh, and I had a polyp that caused light spotting in the 1st pregnancy, and during postpartum they checked and said it was still there, so I'll have to keep that in mind.
Something interesting about you: I can never decide whether I'm an extrovert or introvert!
nectarine / 2784 posts
Your story: My first pregnancy was discovered to be ectopic at 6 weeks. I had an emergency salpingotomy to remove the pregnancy from my fallopian tube. As soon as my betas returned to 0 following my surgery I was cleared to try again and 6 weeks later I got my BFP with my current pregnancy.
Due Date: March 2015
LO #: 1
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss: At first I was a wreck. Those first few weeks waiting for beta results and worrying about another loss/ectopic felt like an eternity. It was also very soon after my loss, so I was still figuring out how to mourn my first pregnancy. With every "milestone" I pass it gets easier. A few weeks ago I found out the sex of my baby and that was a real turning point for me. It really helped me bond with my pregnancy and think of things in terms of everything happening for a reason- I am still sad that I lost my first baby and mourn the idea of what he/she could have been, but I love my daughter so much and I'm so thankful to have her even though it meant going through the loss.
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss: At first I had to be monitored very closely to rule out another ectopic, and will have to be for any subsequent pregnancies as well since you are at higher risk of another ectopic after having one- early betas and ultrasounds. After 8 weeks everything was progressing normally so I was able to leave the high risk doctor and see my regular midwife for the rest of the pregnancy.
Something interesting about you: I am a rainbow baby- my mom had four losses before I was born.
pear / 1558 posts
Thank you for starting this thread.
Your story: I lost my 1st baby in May at 6w while visiting my family (whom I'd JUST told we were pg) & on our 1st wedding anniversary. I felt a LOT of sadness & desperation to get pg again, as I'm an older mama-to-be & we'd been trying for 5mos when we got pg the 1st time. I worried that signified bigger problems for us, maybe, but was surprised to learn from so many people how very common m/c is. We started going thru initial fertility assessments on the advice of the OB who saw me post-m/c. We were about to start a medicated IUI cycle when I tested in Aug & found out I was pregnant again on our own!
Due Date: May 26
LO #: 1 
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss: I've been nervous & cautious, but thrilled. I got 5 different betas done over my 1st 2.5wks of knowing I was pg to watch the #s double (awesome #s this time, opposed to last time), and b/c I bled 1 day @ 5w (& of course freaked out that this was another m/c), I was able to get both a 6 & 7 wk u/s done at my RE's office. This has helped reassure us SO much, & both times we were lucky to see baby's heartbeat!!
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss: I kind of feel like I have been driving my care so far, & since at both u/s's the RE said baby looks perfect, she is not recommending anything special. In fact we just graduated from the RE yesterday. I have my intake with the nurse at the OB's office next week. I do need to get confident in that office/OB, though. I wasn't established there prior to my m/c & so don't have much experience with them yet. I am very interested in working with a doula, too.
Something interesting about you: gosh, I don't know! I guess I'll just say that despite being what I feel a successful "career woman" for my entire adult life, I'm beside myself excited to be a stay at home mom for a while & raise at least one awesome child, if not a couple if we are so blessed. I have worked a long time to set myself up for that luxury & gift to our child(ren).
Wishing you all in your pregnancies.
persimmon / 1310 posts
Best wishes to each of you!
Your story:
I had a mc in April at 7 weeks. It was our first pregnancy and we were devastated. We started trying again after return of AF because all I could think was I don't want to still be trying when the due date rolls around. We are a little older, so I was worried it could take some time. Well, surprise! We got pregnant again that first cycle trying. We were both pretty much in shock for a week. Then the worry really set in. Everything went perfectly, but I honestly didn't let myself get too hopeful or attached. I think my severe morning sickness contributed too because some days I literally couldn't think of anything but how miserable I was.
It all turned around for me after the NT scan, which I had at 11 weeks. Baby looked wonderful and so healthy; I was finally able to connect and feel like we are really going to get to keep this one. I seem to feel more and more confident with each milestone. I'm now more than halfway through the pregnancy and feeling the baby move is the most reassuring thing.
Due Date: Feb 16
LO #: 1
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss: good now. Wasn't so good first trimester.
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss:
They wanted to do more blood testing for hcg and progesterone, but the lab actually messed up and these tests didn't get run early enough for them to supplement progesterone (had I needed it; thankfully I didn't). That was really stressful.
Something interesting about you: I had a childhood injury that left a pebble imbedded in my heel. It's still there!
pear / 1558 posts
@Anya: congrats on a baby girl & I'm so glad things are going well for you so far!
nectarine / 2641 posts
@Snowybreeze: I'm really struggling with asking for beta's, too. I'm not even quite 4 weeks, yet, and waiting until 7 feels like FOREVER. But I do have a crazy-busy 3 weeks, so I'm going to try to be patient.
@Anya: I bet moving away from the high risk doctor was a huge step. I'm so glad things are looking good for your baby girl (!!)
@GoGoSnoGirl: How wonderful!
@Iced Tea: A pebble in your heel? Ouch!! I think I'm in the "not good" first trimester part.
I'm feeling...terrified right now. For a couple days I was feeling the side pains, and even feeling a bit of hip moving and stuff, but now...nothing. I didn't get morning sickness with DS until maybe 6-ish weeks (and even then, it was just aversion), but not having any symptoms is part of what made me feel like my loss wasn't going well. So of course, I'm freaking out. I'm trying really hard to stay calm.
I'm also trying to let myself fall in love with this baby. It's hard. Feels like things are going to go wrong any second.
And since it's soooo early, I'm also afraid this will be a CP. Part of me wanted to not test until I missed my period, but if I have a CP, I'd want to know/note that in my chart.
to each of you. I am so looking forward to seeing each of your lovely babes!
apricot / 279 posts
@Jess1483: I'm on the same boat. Since I've been documenting my symptoms every month, currently the symptoms are so similar to pre-period that it's freaking me out. The m/c in July, i didn't feel anything 7/9-7/10, then on the night of the 11th, I had cramps like period and i just knew it, hard to explain. It was like 4am, and i knew something came out.
I'm trying to take in the comfort that every pregnancy is different. For my first, I cannot remember feeling any symptoms AT ALL. it was only the day after my missed period I tested. but honestly at that time, maybe i did have pre-period symptoms but just didn't take note of it. and of course,this time around not only because we are really ready to add another member to our family but because of the m/c. Like you said, I think all we can do is busy ourselves and wait for the first trimester to fly by! I'm still constantly reminding myself what you said. Hope! My husband is also taking in comfort that he believes our body is doing its best to keep this baby.
You tested 10 DPO right? did you stop testing or kept going each day? By the way, did you know that ovulation strips can pick up hcg hormone too? The LH hormone shares some similar molecules or something like that...but i have tested with a LH strip each cycle and the previous cycles were negative (it was positive in July and now, so i know the ovulation strips work too, but the hcg strips are more definite).
For the beta testing, I'm really curious...I logged into my 2012 health records and realized i didn't even get a blood test on the hcg level (or at least it wasn't documented on the patient portal). I wanted to compare to the hcg level when i went on 7/11/14. I'm really curious to see what this doubling/tripling that everyone is talking about.
Getting ready for bed but wanted to respond to this first!
For sure, I'm super excited to follow your journey and pray that we will all have good news throughout. Maybe we can do bump pics too!
nectarine / 2641 posts
@Snowybreeze: I did test at 10 dpo. I only have one more digital, that I'm planning to take next week when hopefully it will say 2-3 weeks instead of 1-2. I have used the OPKs, but they are about as dark as they can get (which is good), so I can't really see any progress. I'm highly tempted to get another couple of FRERs, but I'm pretty sure that would make me more stressed out...
My period is on deck for tomorrow (14 dpo).
persimmon / 1168 posts
@Snowybreeze: @Iced Tea: @GoGoSnoGirl: @Anya: congrats to all you mamas on your pregnancies! It's good to know we are not alone
@Jess1483: hope you can relax and the next few weeks go by fast even though I know how hard it is
nectarine / 2148 posts
Thanks for starting this!!
Your story: We got our first BFP in May 2014 and found out at our 10 week u/s that the baby stopped growing at week 6-7. We had a d/c in July. We didn't ttc afterwards as we were pretty emotional and DH was pretty upset. We ttc again in April 2015 and had a m/c at 5 weeks. After our second m/c we did all the bloodwork and everything can back fairly normal. The RE put me on clomid and progesterone. We ttc for two months and had no luck. Knowing that the past ttc times I got ku on the first go, I decided to stop the clomid all together and delay starting the progesterone. First month of doing that I got my third BFP.
Due Date: June 14th
LO #: 1
How are you coping with pregnancy after a loss: Trying to stay positive. After having two m/cs it seems to not suck as bad. We are cautiously optimistic and I am trying to feel grateful for the days I know I am pregnant, until someone tells me otherwise.
Is your doctor recommending different care after a loss: I am currently only taking the progesterone. I have been getting beta tests as well go make sure things are going in a positive direction. My first round looked good and I am getting my second beta results today.
Something interesting about you: hmmm..... I've studied 5 different languages in college.
apricot / 279 posts
@Magnolia: Thank you! and congratulations to you too! ahhh just about two more months till you meet your rainbow baby!
Hope everyone is having a nice day =)
anyone experiencing shortness of breath? I walk downstairs and already breathless, could it be more blood flow?
@Eko:I'm so sorry to hear about your loss at 10 weeks. I can just imagine how devastating that must have been. Lots of good thoughts for you this time around. Which 5 languages did you study?
clementine / 918 posts
@Jess1483: Be kind to yourself and ruthless with doctors/midwives. If getting beta's will help reduce your anxiety, push for them. My doctor was so kind and offered to allow me to come in whenever to hear the heartbeat, fortunately and unfortunately, due to Lucas's normal pregnancy, delivery, and first 6 months, I am not anxious about the pregnancy but you better believe that I'll be calling the ped for every little thing that scares me. Above all. be kind to yourself.
(I'm just lurking for now, my loss and current anxiety is so different from all of yours, but I want to wish you all the best)
nectarine / 2148 posts
@Snowybreeze: I have some shortness of breath as well. Your body is just working harder to pump blood for the baby, so doing anything over sitting can feel difficult. Also, I studied Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Japanese, and majored in Chinese.
So far though my very short pregnancy lifespan has been good. Got my second round of betas today and they jumped from 73 on Monday to 325 today! So I'm happy about that.
nectarine / 2641 posts
@Eko: Welcome! And I'm so glad your betas are looking good.
@Ms.Badger: Thank you for the kick in the pants I needed I went for my first beta today. I didn't have them done with either pregnancy (DS or my m/c), so I don't really know what to expect, but I think it will make me feel much better.
AFM, I was out of town this weekend, which was great. I got back yesterday and used a digital today (2-3 weeks!) to make sure it was going up. I'll wait another week and use my final digital. I'm feeling tons of stuff going on in my belly region that I remember from my first pregnancy, but I'm pretty sure I didn't have it with my m/c, which is making me feel hopeful.
In general, though, I'm finding it hard to believe. I'm still saying "if this one sticks." It's hard to get attached. I'm hoping good betas and a good 7-week ultrasound will make me feel like I can start falling in love with this little one.
A friend of mine who helped me a lot through her pregnancy sent me the sweetest e-mail to tell me she was pregnant. I was glad I was able to genuinely express my excitement for her (she kept it from me because she knew I wasn't doing awesome, which I totally understand.)
How's everyone else doing?
nectarine / 2148 posts
@Jess1483: I find that doing the betas has been really good for helping with my mood and keeping positive. It's nice to get continual reassurance that things are going well. I get really panicky if something happens that I think is a bad omen and then I get my beta results and it assures me that everything is going right on track.
It also has been helping to think that this baby is real with getting the betas done. I don't think it will sink in until we get an u/s, but in the early weeks getting beta results have been nice.
But over in this corner things are going ok. I have another round of beta results coming in today. They jumped to 991 on Saturday. My stomach has started to feel really uneasy. I can't eat a lot and have been having some food aversions. I am wondering if this will turn into really full blown m/s at the 6 week mark.
nectarine / 2641 posts
@Eko: I'm just hoping and praying for some m/s to kick in. I had very mild m/s with DS, and absolutely none with my m/c, so I think it'd be quite reassuring. I know people with m/s will think I'm crazy, but it would make me feel much better.
Glad your betas are awesome!
nectarine / 2148 posts
@Jess1483: I feel the same way. Hopefully getting some beta results will help bring some reassurance to you!
nectarine / 2641 posts
Beta is over 2000 (didn't give me exact number) at 19 dpo. Seems like a good number to me! Going in on Thursday for another beta.
apricot / 279 posts
I went yesterday which was 19 dpo for the first beta and they called today and said the beta is 2828! I'm really happy to hear that. The Dr. Said that I'm four weeks along. I asked for another beta later this week but still waiting to hear back, don't know why she sounded like she didn't want to give me another one. I already explained my concern to her.
@jess1483: that's good news, yay!
pomegranate / 3533 posts
@Jess1483: @Snowybreeze: Congrats ladies! Those sound like great numbers!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
Popping into ask (if you don't mind) when did you all test after your loss? I'm scared to take a pregnancy test for the fear of experiencing another cp. Thanks in advance and congrats to all of you I hope I can join you in the coming months!
nectarine / 2641 posts
@mrsjyw: I've never had a chemical, but I have an obsessive personality, so I tested at 10 dpo. I understand waiting until AF is due to test with a CP, though. After my MC, I figured my doc would want to document if I had a CP, so I'd want to know either way. But I was very concerned about it. Hugs.
apricot / 279 posts
@mrsjyw: after CP in July, I tested every month after, sometimes just a day before my period sometimes as early as 11 dpo, depends how positive I'm feeling.
apricot / 279 posts
Nurse called back and said the doctor doesn't want to order another beta. I kept asking why, finally she said your insurance won't cover it if we don't have a good reason to get it. I explained that I absolutely need it 1) I had a cp 2) the feeling this time is diff than my first 3) knock on wood- but if anything happens I need these numbers to discuss further testing. Has anyone's doctor given you a hard time about geTting these betas?
P.s. she just called back and said the doc will order one more and that's it. Phew.
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