Hellobee Boards

hahaha. I have a friend who this happened to a few times. Even one of our good friends came up to her at about 28 weeks and asked her if she'd like a beer. My friend just looked at her and then down at her belly!!! Our friend was a little embarrassed.

Most of the time waiters just ask if you want something to drink-- don't specify alcohol, no? Thought I was at dinner with a very obviously pregnant friend, who had ordered ginger ale before i got there. After I ordered wine, the waiter did ask her if she wanted wine or was good with the ginger ale. She responded by rubbing her big belly and saying, no, I'm good.

As a server and bartender for many years, ladyfingers is right on that at some places you just have the spiel you have to go through.

Also, I had alcohol service training at several places that addressed serving pregnant women. It is actually discriminatory to NOT serve a pregnant woman who would like an alcoholic beverage, so perhaps people are just covering their bases there. I know I would usually use the generic "drinks" with people if I thought someone was underage/pregnant/intoxicated etc., but I'm sure I slipped up sometimes. From an awkwardness standpoint, I think it's always safer to assume someone isn't pregnant than that they are!

AFW, I am not obviously pregnant yet so I haven't had to cross this bridge.

Out of habit, seriously. And uh, as a former waitress, you really cannot tell who is pregnant and who just carries their weight on their stomach. You think it's obvious, but to someone who sees, literally, a hundred people of night, sitting down, they don't even know. They're looking at you when they're talking, but they're probably staring right through you, if you know what I mean.

Oh and when I waited tables, we had to offer certain things to every table. no matter what

Yes, I think they just want to leave the option open.

Yes, they'd ask all the time. But, in their defense, whenever DH & I would go out somewhere nice, i'd always kind of cover the bump up just because I didn't feel 1005 "sexy" while pregnant. But, at 40w2d, we went out to dinner for the last time before baby arrived, and they still asked even though at that point I was an obvious whale.

I'm pretty sure most people couldn't tell I was pregnant when I sat down, I carry weight in my stomach anyway. I think for the sake of saving their own tip, all waitstaff should treat all customers the same.

I've been asked my entire pregnancy.

Blackbird pretty much explains it.

Servers live and die by routines and habits...Most of the time they're too busy to pay attention to things outside of what they've been trained to do.