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I can see it both ways. I have 2 and I wouldn't change it for anything, but I think being an only or having a sibling both are gifts in their own way.

My two girls are great friends and playmates and I think in a way the little one was the gift of a friend and playmate to the older one. However. I wouldn't think of it this way for the purposes of deciding whether to have another one. I think it puts a lot of pressure on everyone - yourselves and the kids - for them to have a wonderful, perfect relationship, which of course can't be guaranteed.

I do feel that dd2 is a gift to DD1. DH and I are both close to our siblings and even though we had some moments of doubt when DD1 was about 2 and really becoming fun and easier, we always knew we wanted her to have a sibling. There have been some rough transitions, but I love seeing how they adore each other and can't wait to see them grow up together. I hope they grow up to be close!

As a second child, I still feel like a gift to my sister and I remind her of that all the time! In all seriousness, I feel so blessed to have a sister. She's my family. If I can give my daughter a sibling, I absolutely will. I think a sibling is more important than the other things people say they can buy if they don't have a second child. But each person has their own priorities so do what you want with what you've got!

I do think so. That is not the only reason we had a second but it was a factor. If we weren't in a position to have a second for one reason or another, I still think my first would have a very nice life.

I am really happy that they have each other, and I am really grateful for my siblings. So I guess that is sort of like a gift, but the younger one certainly wasn't a gift to the older one. I wanted more than one kid and I wanted my kids to have a sibling since DH and I both love having siblings.

@agold: agreed!

I don't think so. We had a second baby because we wanted another child. The relationship between my two boys is so fun to watch (the second is only 6 weeks), and I am glad they will have each other, but gift is not the way I'd describe it.

I think I'd also agree with those who have said ssiblings or lack thereof make your life different but not necessarily better or worse.

Eta, I also don't think you hurt a kid by having another. It brings change and that's hard, but hard is different from harm.

Not a "gift" because that makes me think of more of a one way street but I do think my first child is much better off for having a sibling.

Not in the first year probably afterward for sure. I am having a lot of guilt about splitting my attention from LO when I have #2 in the fall, but I know overall it will good for her. I don't think they will necessarily be best friends, or even friends at all. But family is everything. I'm not close to my brother, we can go months without speaking, but I'm so glad he exists in my life and I feel more anchored having him out there knowing he'd always be there for me if I needed him. Having more people who love you is always a good thing. There are lots of ways to expand your child's family though, so I don't think that you need to have a second if you're only doing it for your first... but I absolutely do believe that our second will be overall a blessing to our daughter.

It wasn't a consideration when we had our second but he's been a gift to our FAMILY. We all love him and I'm glad they will have each other. My boys are 20 months apart.

I think it's a gamble to view it that way as said above. We had more because we wanted to, and I hoped they would enjoy each other. And so far it is true, it gave #1 a best friend and playmate, though I know it will change as she gets older. Actually that might be a gift to me because they keep each other busy even if it gets crazy. I really like having a brother but we also drove each other crazy many years. Regardless though always a bond and could always rely on each other especially through some difficult things as adults. My mom and her older sister though were adversaries almost from birth. Just personality clash. She also has a younger brother she is much closer to, so luck is a big factor.

I feel so grateful for my siblings. Its super hard for two year old to share me right now, but in learning to share love and space there is a lot to learn and soon the baby will be a companion. I grew up in a big family and have always enjoyed the space because in not the only one. Someone else always takes the attention when you have had enough.

I think if you really want to answer this, you have to look at the long game. When the kids are in middle age, are they talking to each other? I know we all picture these idyllic family scenes, but the reality of it is that we're not all functioning that way.

Yes! Giving a child a sibling is a wonderful gift to give. Our two are absolutely best friends. I can remember just sitting there watching my oldest when he was about 7 or 8 moths old while playing and just thinking how he really needed a sibling to play with and what a gift that would be to give him.

Now our two have been asking for about a year for a baby brother or sister and we are so thrilled to give the gift of another sibling to share life with.

I absolutely feel like #2 was a gift to #1. He adores him (#2 is 9mo, and #1 will be 3 in July). Their relationship has been so special so far. That said I absolutely wouldn't have a second child only for the sake of the oldest. Seems like setting yourself up for frustration or regret. Wanting our son to have a sibling was a factor for us and has worked out well so far, but it was one of several factors.

I hear people say this sort of thing all the time. The first one is for the parents because they really want a child. The second one is for the first because having a sibling is a must. BULL! I am colored by my own relationship with my sibling, but I don't see him as a gift at all. If we have another it will be because we really want another child not as a false hope of creating a lifelong bestie for LO.

No offense to anyone, but I think this idea is absurd! I don't owe my child a sibling and I bristled whenever someone said that to me because Cobi was an only child for five years before we had our second. I received so many comments from people that I needed to give my child a sibling. No, the only thing I need to give my child is love, stability, a home/food, etc. not a person. People are not gifts to be given, IMHO.

Even though my son begged me for two years to have a baby, I could not do it without knowing I'm 100% okay with it and it took me a long time to reach that place; mentally, emotionally, and physically... and yes, financially. It's such a big decision to create another life and it's so multi-faceted.

I adore being a mother to two children now, and my son loves having a baby brother. But he wasn't a gift to my first.

I think my 2 girls are a gift to each other.

It'll be different for everyone. My 1st child was a huge factor in our decision to have a 2nd child. Life was great with 1 kid after the infant stage. It was getting easier and easier, she was a great kid, fun, and we had some of our freedom back. So, it was tempting to keep our family just the 3 of us. But, when think of the future, I wanted my kids to have each other.

Yes. The baby has made my daughter's life infinitely better. She is her favorite thing and they are best friends. This has nothing to do with my own siblings because I am nothing like my own parents. The answer depends upon you as a parent. I think how kids relate has to do with how parents treat them.

It was very difficult at first, having 2, but for us parents, not for the kids! I believe, depending on you as a parent, kids are a gift to one another. (I grew up with parents that made us enemies of one another, favoritism, encouraging competition, treating kids differently, that's the place I am coming from and what I am referencing, so... The answer is also determined by personal experience.)