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Suburb-dwelling but city-at-heart people: anyone?

  1. MrsSCB

    pomelo / 5257 posts

    @LCTBQE: it is so crazy! my mom and I went to check out two houses for sale in her neighborhood (where we're currently living) this weekend. One of them was two bedrooms, tiny, not super updated -- $860K. Ummm, no. Regarding Brooklyn: my mom's friend bought a brownstone in Park Slope directly across from Prospect Park decades ago, before people had really started to move over to BK. Sooooo, good for them. Not so much for those of us who want to buy now...

  2. 808love

    pomelo / 5866 posts

    I miss town once a week. I drive there once a month. We live in a semi-desirable (not best, not worst) suburb but it is still not close enough to the big city for me. We have friends, interests, restaurants, playgrounds, solid community etc here but it is just a personal thing and the hearts what the heart wants....sometimes. Of course when we bought, I was 100% in love. But now, nearly 10 years later... I sometimes think I would be just as happy on a farm so perhaps it is a bit of grass is greener mentality. So anyway, our main thing is we wanted to live near work, less than 10 minute commute. We also wanted to buy below our means so we could have lots of spare cash. We had no idea we would be getting raises soon after buying. Also if I could do it all over, I would pick a lifelong job (I attach to the people and the history) in town and a husband who worked in town. That would have made everything line up. So yes, we have made a sacrifice in location to keep marriage, jobs, bank account, lifestyle intact. so that is how I cancel out my dissatisfaction (or quench my yearning)—-with purpose.

  3. Pollywog

    persimmon / 1111 posts

    I live right outside of DC is a very urban suburb. It is more urban than my SIL who lives in the District. I love it because I have more space--a 3 bedroom townhouse with a communal yard. I can easily walk to 5 playgrounds, a grocery store, and 10 restaurants. My commute is a 8 minute uber or 25 minute bus ride.

    My advice is to find the right suburb. We spent a week living in a distant suburb between apartments and I was miserable. I hated having to drive every where and having a long commute. I preferred less space and a more urban environment. My DH was adamant when looking at houses that we found a neighborhood I'd be happy in. We turned down many dream houses for an expensive, functional place with access to things that make me happy.

  4. lioneyes

    persimmon / 1286 posts

    @lctbqe check out NY times today- front page article of real estate section is very relevant to this convo, and might give some more good ideas!

  5. Littlebit7

    nectarine / 2243 posts

    @lioneyes: I read that too although was disappoint that they didn’t discuss the elephant in the room much: property taxes. I thought they were high where I live in Hudson county until I looked up the NJ towns..holy shit.

  6. Anagram

    eggplant / 11716 posts

    @Littlebit7: yesssss, property taxes, plus the much higher commuting cost, plus the high maintenance cost of owning a home (lawn, snow removal, more space to clean)....it definitely means a move to the suburbs isn't cheaper. Just maybe more space. Monthly expenses are so high in some suburbs though.

  7. Foodnerd81

    wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

    @Anagram: needing a car or a second car too! Property taxes, yes, but sometimes that means public school va private school in a city (sometimes).

  8. ElbieKay

    pomegranate / 3231 posts

    @Anagram: Not to mention the time value of a shorter commute. That is really what does it for me!

  9. lioneyes

    persimmon / 1286 posts

    @litlebit TOTALLY, i think they alluded to it once but didn't dwell. also didn't touch on the school rankings, like if they are worth those high taxes (some towns I would say no).

  10. Littlebit7

    nectarine / 2243 posts

    @lioneyes: exactly. It’s one thing if you are paying ridiculous taxes and your municipality has good infrastructure, offers good and plentiful town or city events and activities, is safe, and your schools are bomb. Where I live, taxes are super high, our roads are crumbling and our schools are a work in progress.

  11. maddyz

    persimmon / 1270 posts

    @Anagram: The same apartment with the same rent just plus a bedroom.

  12. LCTBQE

    nectarine / 2461 posts

    @lioneyes: I have been meaning and meaning to write you privately on your wall to thank you for your comment, which I realized later I missed when this thread was active. I did see that article, and I think there was another one on Thursday, too. I don't know why the NYT has such a hard-on for Montclair and Maplewood, it must have some staff writers that live out there and think their center hall colonial is the Playboy Mansion or something.

    @Littlebit7: @maddyz: @ElbieKay: @Foodnerd81: @Anagram:
    My update is that about four days after this thread wound down, we saw a beautiful house that we loved in Maplewood, we decided to bid, someone outbid us by a lot but had worse terms, and we won (?!) I love love the house and am glad to have some resolution, am under no illusion whatsoever that this will be less money, but the taxes on this particular home aren't that bad (even compared to my family in Texas), and I'll have a place to put this baby that isn't 14 inches from my head. and I'm pleased to spend the money that I was going to have to spend anyway on something that I own instead of an overpriced ikea box that isn't mine and still isn't enough room long-term. Flat-out *terrified* of the commute eating me alive and being sad/bored, which I think is realistic. Supposedly we'll move in April and until then I'm stressing out about childcare out there. If we find it untenable I think after a couple years we will call it and get organized to leave the northeast completely, but everything is in motion for this right now. I'm on my computer or I'd do the emoji face that looks anxious and has all the teeth showing.

  13. Littlebit7

    nectarine / 2243 posts

    @LCTBQE: congrats!! What an exciting adventure

  14. LCTBQE

    nectarine / 2461 posts

    @Littlebit7: haha, that is not at all how I feel about it, but I appreciate that

  15. Littlebit7

    nectarine / 2243 posts

    @LCTBQE: haha I figured.... “but always look on the bright side of death”!
    We are thinking about buying something next year and I’m already losing sleep over it

  16. Foodnerd81

    wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

    @LCTBQE: I really truly think loving your house will help ease the pains of leaving the city. Like even on the days when your commute sucks, you get to come home to a home you love, that's yours, you get to make the changes that you want. Like, when we found our house, I could see my girls walking down the (very 90's carpeted) stairs in their prom dresses. Congrats!

  17. lioneyes

    persimmon / 1286 posts

    @lctbqe CONGRATS! I do not think the commute will kill you, it's so straightforward and close enough that in an emergency you could Uber if you had to.

    ALSO- LOL about the NYTimes. You're totally right, there was that article this fall about Justin Bieber in Montclair and they were waxing rhapsodic about how amaaaazing it is there. It IS nice though, but everyone who works there lives there.

  18. Anagram

    eggplant / 11716 posts

    @LCTBQE: I don't know how I missed this before, but congratulations! Are you looking for daycare or thinking nanny? My closest friend that lives in Maplewood has her older son in a preschool and her younger son at home with a nanny. I could ask her about daycares?

  19. Alba4

    nectarine / 2951 posts

    @LCTBQE: Congrats! The adjustment to living in the burbs might take some time, but as someone who did it 5 years ago, I like it and don’t look back. My brother and his family chose to stay in the city and raise their boys, and they pretty much leave every weekend.

    I love having a house, a big yard, hiking, and nature at my fingertips. With two active boys, I love having a basement and a neighborhood to romp around in. I do however miss the NYC restaurants (Westchester is majorly lacking). I don’t commute to the city and I’m sure that will suck some days. You are sill super close to the city so your kids can still easily access urban activities. Good luck.

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