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Trying too hard is preventing pregnancy

  1. pachamama

    persimmon / 1062 posts

    @beatrixkiddo: Great, now I'm crying at work. My head was down on my desk and a student came in and was like uhhhh.....
    I was actually just thinking that those 2 times I got pregnant were probably flukes- with R I was definitely trying but in a less stressed way. I don't know if I could really let myself take a real true break? I feel like I'm running out of time...
    (Also, are you N's mom? )
    @2PeasinaPod: I love that you do this. I should crochet but I usually decompress by just going on FB and Instagram. Probably not good.

  2. beatrixkiddo

    apple seed / 4 posts

    @pachamama: nope, it's Danya. And I didn't mean flukes in the sense that they were one-in-a-million chances, I mean that you serendipitously happened to have not been trying as actively those months. I don't think you got pregnant *because* you weren't trying as hard, I think you got pregnant because the different circumstances that need to be perfect in our bodies and our husbands bodies that are largely invisible to us happened to work together that month. The only way i see you being able to take a real break is if you had a concrete plan for when the break ends and what you will be doing when the break ends. But I wouldn't take a break because you think its what you need to do to get pregnant during that break cycle. Too much mind-f*ckery there. You're a planner and a teacher and an organizer and (tri)athlete! You're programmed to love schedules and tracking and data and being in tune with changes in your body on a daily basis. Don't force yourself to ignore those instincts because you think that's what you need to do to get pregnant. My feeling is that it's just a shitty waiting game and you've had shitty luck so far, but those are awesome tools at your disposal that you're better equipped to take advantage of because of your personality than most people.

  3. pachamama

    persimmon / 1062 posts

    @beatrixkiddo: Thank you so much, D. crying againnnnnnnnnn

    I told my husband I am done after December. I just can't keep doing to myself and I think (know) my stress has a real biological impact.

  4. Grace

    cantaloupe / 6470 posts

    For what it's worth, with my first, I got pregnant after 12 months of trying (charting and being very stressed out). Like you, it was the month I "gave up". For the second, I was calm. We had given ourselves 18 months to try and if it happened, good and if not, we'd be ok with 1. That took a lot of pressure off, we didn't time it as good some months and didn't worry. Still took 12 months! I think it was really just a numbers game after all. All this to say, be kind to yourself. It's hard and you are trying to deal with it the best you can.

  5. pachamama

    persimmon / 1062 posts

    @Grace: Thank you, Grace. I think this will be a game of endurance for us

  6. Shantuck

    persimmon / 1269 posts

    @pachamama: Do you by chance take CoQ10? I'm another person with DOR and I got pregnant accidentally taking a high dose of it (600 mg per day of ubiquinol rather than ubiquinone). It ended in a loss and then I tried it again and got pregnant with my daughter. In October, when we were ready for a 3rd, I decided to try the ubiquinol again and I got pregnant that month. Unfortunately, it ended in a 9 week loss but for some reason, nothing happens if I try on my own but I seem to get pregnant when I take the high dosage of ubiquinol. I think you are supposed to take it for 3 months to see an improvement in eqq quality so right now I'm sitting out a month and then going to try again. Anyway, it is just a thought (even though you didn't ask!). Here is some more info on it and reasons why 600 mg is the correct dosage:
    http://www.paleo-mama.com/which-coq10-is-best-for-fertility-ubiquinol-or-ubiquinone/

  7. pachamama

    persimmon / 1062 posts

    @Shantuck: I took Ubiquinol for #1 and it worked I guess haha! I have read about the 600mg minimum. However I had a high potency one my aunt gave me and it game me pounding headaches, so I need to use a different brand I think. Did you get headaches from it?

  8. Shantuck

    persimmon / 1269 posts

    @pachamama: I take Jarrow brand (3x200mg) and I haven’t had any headaches. I do think it makes me ovulate a couple days late. I think i read that it is fat soluble so always take with a meal. Definitely try it again!

  9. pachamama

    persimmon / 1062 posts

    @Shantuck: Interesting you say that. After taking it a while, I started O'ing super late. I "think" I might have O'd on day 29. So now I'm paranoid about taking it... or maybe late ovulation is a DOR/ POF thing?

  10. Shantuck

    persimmon / 1269 posts

    @pachamama: I ovulate on day 16 /17 on the months I don't take ubiquinol and on day 18-20 when I do. For me, I think it's directly tied to the ubiquinol. Is there a big difference in your timing? I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for me.

  11. pachamama

    persimmon / 1062 posts

    @Shantuck: I'm a disaster. With #1, 25 day cycles, spotting before and after. Now, 6 months post D&C, 36+ day cycles, spotting before and for 5 days after, not sure exactly when I O, was trying not to obsess. This month was 29. In 20 years of ovulation I have never been this irregular. I had a pelvic u/s and thyroid tested, all looked good. My OB doesn't suspect scarring or any complications post d&c but I'm wary. Going in for Day 3 testing next period.

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