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@Dr. Pepper: So sorry mama

@Dr. Pepper: I am so sorry.

I understand your feelings about wanting a March baby. My baby's due date was the day before my dad's birthday and he was excited that his first grandson could end up sharing a birthday with him. I was really happy to have an April due date. It's just so hard when it's taken from you.

@Coral: how many months have you been trying now? how old are you?

@Coral: I don't know if I would worry at this point.
I know in my experience, fertility can change after you have a baby. I got pregnant with my daughter on the first try and then you know my experience the 2nd time around.

I would give it a few more months and then seek out a RE if nothing happens. However if you truly feel that something is *wrong*, it can't hurt to see your OB to do basic testing.

@Coral: I'm really sorry How long have you been trying? My sense (I definitely didn't always follow this advice, but should have) is that there's no need to start being too worried until closer to the year mark, unless there's something specific that you think is wrong or maybe if you're close to 40 and feel like time is really running out. At one point I took this # I found - who knows if it's right but it seems to be the best number out there - that for a women in her early 30s, about 30% of her eggs are good. Then I simulated the distribution of how many months it would take to get pregnant just taking random draws from those eggs, assuming all you need for a pregnancy is a good egg (yes, I'm a huge nerd). And while lots of women do get pregnant in the first few months, the odds that it could take 7, 8, 9 cycles are not all that low at all. Just do a coin flip with 30% odds of heads and this is clear as well. I think this has been the case for us, it took awhile, but everything appears to be fine and just not the greatest of TTC luck (though obviously it could have also been much worse).

@PeaceLily: I'm so glad that the RE was helpful and that he is taking you seriously. These all seem like good and really straightforward steps to take. Thinking of you and sending lots of

@periwinklebee: Thank you. I will be 33 in 3 months and we've been trying for four months (just about to go into our 5th.) Like I previously mentioned, I probably wouldn't be so dejected if DS took so long (or my other pregnancies) but I got pregnant every month I tried. I mean, it ended up that it took 8 months to get pregnant with our take home baby but it seems like I am having getting pregnant in the first place.
And thanks for those numbers. It helps to put things in perspective.

@Coral: I agree with going with your gut.

FWIW...the OB I was seeing at the time would consider looking into infertility after 6 months (instead of a year) if a person was charting their cycles and knew they were properly timing intercourse. The one year rule usually applies to couples who are simply not contracepting.

And if you have losses thrown in to that 4-6 months, I think that could you even more of a reason to touch base with an OB or RE.

@Coral: using OPKs would be considered a form of timed intercourse whether or not you chart.

@Coral: We tried for six cycles before getting pregnant. Then after that, I got pregnant every cycle we tried for three cycles, granted the first two have been losses. The one thing I can pinpoint changing is that I started drinking green algae kombucha most days. I don't want to say that this is what made the difference, as it could have just been a random event (for the reasons I mentioned above) or maybe it was a post-loss fertility boost. However, green algae is supposed to be the richest source of b vitamins out there, which are important for fertility, and the probiotics are supposed to be very favorable for the Ph down there (though I didn't have any known problems). I'm hesitant about supplements, but when it's food, I'm less hesitant because I know my body will tell me if it doesn't like it. In any case, I felt healthier when I started my day with that compared to less healthy food (I got the kind with chia seeds, so it was also filling), so I'm pretty sure it didn't hurt anything.

I'm sorry that things haven't worked out and I'll be thinking of you. I also think it's perfectly reasonable to see an RE after six months, especially if you're close to 35, that's what I did (though we didn't ultimately pursue treatment).

@periwinklebee: I will look into, thank you! I would like to avoid supplements because I feel like it is a vast and complex rabbit hole I don't want to go down...especially since I don't have anything specific to treat.

@Coral: infertility isn't covered for me either, but repeat loss testing was after two losses. And my doctor searched for causes of infertility with tests coded for ovarian disfunction and they were covered. I only had to pay out of pocket for part of my HSG. Ultrasounds and blood tests were covered. As were hormones and femara (because using it for fertility is an off label usage)

So it still wouldn't hurt to ask your OB about next steps.

I ended up having low progesterone and estrogen, needed femara for better ovulation, had subclinical hypothyroidism, and started taking LDN for autoimmune/inflammation issues. I paid out of pocket for hcg and progesterone shots, but that's it med wise

Okay, confession-- last fall (when DS was a little over 1,) I took plan b after a moment of stupidity. I was working on my Masters thesis and couldn't fathom juggling that with working and the morning sickness like I had with DS. Any idea if that can affect future fertility? Sometimes I wish I hadn't taken it in case it could have resulted in a baby but...i just wasn't ready to be pregnant again. And, sorry for monopolizing things today.

@Coral: No, I don't think it would have any long-lasting effect. Birth controls pills don't, and it's basically just a higher dose of that.

@periwinklebee: Okay, thanks. I've told like two people about that.

I have an appointment today for an ultrasound to check the placement of my IUD. I've been bleeding pretty much non-stop since it was inserted and have random bouts of bad cramping. I've had the same IUD 2x prior and never had this issue so it's really odd.

Of course now I'm worried about having to get it taken out. I've never been on hormonal BC and I am not comfortable taking it, so I have no idea what I'll do.

I ended up calling our insurance and (surprise, surprise) we don't have any infertility coverage.
I did call a local fertility doctor who is a part of a larger OB practice and they were really helpful and told me the first steps for a consultation and prices. I don't feel like this is something we need to start right now (they could give us a consult two weeks out.) So, DH and I decided that if nothing happens by my 33 birthday a couple months from now (which is also the month 3 years ago that I conceived DS,) we will make an appointment.

@periwinklebee: You have the perfect bump! And no, not huge. That will come before you know it though

@periwinklebee: Yep! I started looking pregnant around 24 weeks and thought I was giant... Nope. Not even close.
Granted I never did get "huge" because I'm 5'7" and have a really long torso.. but still. It felt pretty big at 40 weeks.

Have you felt any movement yet?

@periwinklebee: no such thing as too much baby movement! It's seriously the best. And hiccups! It makes me smile to think of a new mama on this board getting to that point

I'm concerned my timing gamble didn't work exactly as planned, I think I'm going to o too early. Oh well, if it fails we're no worse off than before. I have been feeling more and more ok with where we are in life, without another baby. If it lasts all month maybe I'll really be at peace if nothing more happens in our last tries.

@periwinklebee: I think I started feeling hiccups about 4-5 weeks after movement!

DH and I are meeting up for 2 days at his parents and then will be apart again for a bit. Our last sticky baby was conceived while they were visiting us so maybe awkward cycles are our thing