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TTC After Loss Part II

  1. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @periwinklebee: Thank you! The RE appointment went well. She also doesn't seem concerned and is recommending an HSN (like an HSG, but just focused on the uterus) for me since I wanted to make sure I didn't have any scar tissue or any uterine issues from the D&E, so I'll get that in a few weeks. Other than that, we did the genetic carrier blood test today, but she wants to hold off on other bloodwork for me for now, probably until September.

    She said we don't need to do a SA for a few months, but my husband wants to get one done so he's doing it next week. I also got an ultrasound that showed a nice thick uterine lining and she checked my ovaries, which showed a good amount of follicles/eggs, though I do have a decent sized cyst on my left ovary so we are keeping an eye on it.

  2. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @Dr. Pepper: So sorry mama

  3. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @PeaceLily: I'm glad the appointment went well!

  4. PeaceLily

    apricot / 360 posts

    @Dr. Pepper: I am so sorry.

    I understand your feelings about wanting a March baby. My baby's due date was the day before my dad's birthday and he was excited that his first grandson could end up sharing a birthday with him. I was really happy to have an April due date. It's just so hard when it's taken from you.

  5. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    Well, history repeated itself and I am now 11 dpo with a . Can I get some honest advice? Where do I go from here? Like home remedies? Fertility specialist?
    It's becoming very real to me that I might not have 2 kids.

  6. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @Coral: how many months have you been trying now? how old are you?

  7. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @mrskansas: I'm going to be 33 in October and have been trying for 4 months. I never had a problem getting pregnant before DS just staying pregnant (sorry for repeat but I got pregnant all 3 months I detected ovulation.)

    If we had had any idea, we would have started much earlier.

  8. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @Coral: I don't know if I would worry at this point.
    I know in my experience, fertility can change after you have a baby. I got pregnant with my daughter on the first try and then you know my experience the 2nd time around.

    I would give it a few more months and then seek out a RE if nothing happens. However if you truly feel that something is *wrong*, it can't hurt to see your OB to do basic testing.

  9. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @mrskansas: I hope I don't come off as melodramatic. This is just really really weird for me and I am starting to worry. And thank you for your advice.

  10. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    @Coral: I'm really sorry How long have you been trying? My sense (I definitely didn't always follow this advice, but should have) is that there's no need to start being too worried until closer to the year mark, unless there's something specific that you think is wrong or maybe if you're close to 40 and feel like time is really running out. At one point I took this # I found - who knows if it's right but it seems to be the best number out there - that for a women in her early 30s, about 30% of her eggs are good. Then I simulated the distribution of how many months it would take to get pregnant just taking random draws from those eggs, assuming all you need for a pregnancy is a good egg (yes, I'm a huge nerd). And while lots of women do get pregnant in the first few months, the odds that it could take 7, 8, 9 cycles are not all that low at all. Just do a coin flip with 30% odds of heads and this is clear as well. I think this has been the case for us, it took awhile, but everything appears to be fine and just not the greatest of TTC luck (though obviously it could have also been much worse).

    @PeaceLily: I'm so glad that the RE was helpful and that he is taking you seriously. These all seem like good and really straightforward steps to take. Thinking of you and sending lots of

  11. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @Coral: No, I totally get it. I knew something was up after my first cycle for #2 ended in ectopic and my gut was right.. so just go with your gut.

    I'll be thinking of you and hoping that your BFP is right around the corner!

  12. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @periwinklebee: Thank you. I will be 33 in 3 months and we've been trying for four months (just about to go into our 5th.) Like I previously mentioned, I probably wouldn't be so dejected if DS took so long (or my other pregnancies) but I got pregnant every month I tried. I mean, it ended up that it took 8 months to get pregnant with our take home baby but it seems like I am having getting pregnant in the first place.
    And thanks for those numbers. It helps to put things in perspective.

  13. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @mrskansas: Thank you.

  14. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @Coral: I agree with going with your gut.

    FWIW...the OB I was seeing at the time would consider looking into infertility after 6 months (instead of a year) if a person was charting their cycles and knew they were properly timing intercourse. The one year rule usually applies to couples who are simply not contracepting.

    And if you have losses thrown in to that 4-6 months, I think that could you even more of a reason to touch base with an OB or RE.

  15. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @MaryM: I don't temp but we have been using opks with TI for those four months. And thank you for the advice.

    Totally random, but I know there are so many supplements out there but I am hesitant to take something without knowing what's going on.

  16. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @Coral: using OPKs would be considered a form of timed intercourse whether or not you chart.

  17. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6086 posts

    @Coral: I do think it just changes as you get older and post your first. Trying for my first, I wasn't ovulating much but once that was fixed got pregnant 3/4 tries until one stuck. Trying for number two took about twice as many cycles to get the same number of pregnancies until one stuck. This time, seems it will be even longer. I was 32-33 when we were trying for #2.

    That said I am all in favor of asking for help/testing whenever you feel it's right! I went back to the re when I had another loss when we started trying for #2. It wasn't about time spent trying, I just knew things were off.

  18. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    @Coral: We tried for six cycles before getting pregnant. Then after that, I got pregnant every cycle we tried for three cycles, granted the first two have been losses. The one thing I can pinpoint changing is that I started drinking green algae kombucha most days. I don't want to say that this is what made the difference, as it could have just been a random event (for the reasons I mentioned above) or maybe it was a post-loss fertility boost. However, green algae is supposed to be the richest source of b vitamins out there, which are important for fertility, and the probiotics are supposed to be very favorable for the Ph down there (though I didn't have any known problems). I'm hesitant about supplements, but when it's food, I'm less hesitant because I know my body will tell me if it doesn't like it. In any case, I felt healthier when I started my day with that compared to less healthy food (I got the kind with chia seeds, so it was also filling), so I'm pretty sure it didn't hurt anything.

    I'm sorry that things haven't worked out and I'll be thinking of you. I also think it's perfectly reasonable to see an RE after six months, especially if you're close to 35, that's what I did (though we didn't ultimately pursue treatment).

  19. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @MaryM: @periwinklebee: @bhbee: Thanks all for the support. Having terrible morning sickness right when school started wouldn't have been the best but I just feel like each month is deja vu. I called our insurance and (surprise, surprise) infertility isn't covered at all even though we have great insurance. I called a local fertility doctor that my friend went with just to ask about getting an ultrasound. My cycles are really regular, so I think that might be the place to start.

  20. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @periwinklebee: I will look into, thank you! I would like to avoid supplements because I feel like it is a vast and complex rabbit hole I don't want to go down...especially since I don't have anything specific to treat.

  21. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @periwinklebee: Also, is this the one you drank?



  22. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @Coral: infertility isn't covered for me either, but repeat loss testing was after two losses. And my doctor searched for causes of infertility with tests coded for ovarian disfunction and they were covered. I only had to pay out of pocket for part of my HSG. Ultrasounds and blood tests were covered. As were hormones and femara (because using it for fertility is an off label usage)

    So it still wouldn't hurt to ask your OB about next steps.

    I ended up having low progesterone and estrogen, needed femara for better ovulation, had subclinical hypothyroidism, and started taking LDN for autoimmune/inflammation issues. I paid out of pocket for hcg and progesterone shots, but that's it med wise

  23. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @MaryM: Did you do bloodwork to find out about the low progesterone and estrogen? And thanks for all the info!

  24. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    Okay, confession-- last fall (when DS was a little over 1,) I took plan b after a moment of stupidity. I was working on my Masters thesis and couldn't fathom juggling that with working and the morning sickness like I had with DS. Any idea if that can affect future fertility? Sometimes I wish I hadn't taken it in case it could have resulted in a baby but...i just wasn't ready to be pregnant again. And, sorry for monopolizing things today.

  25. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    @Coral: Yes, except they also make one with chia seeds that I preferred since the chia helped it to be filling as well, and I think sort of mellowed out the taste of the algae. They had the chia version in the cafeteria in the office I was mostly working at this spring, but I haven't seen it elsewhere, so it may be harder to find. The regular version will have the same b vitamins and probiotics (and of course you could add your own chia). I normally refuse to pay money for drinks, beyond buying a box of tea to make at home, but I felt like this one was worth it for me.

  26. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    @Coral: No, I don't think it would have any long-lasting effect. Birth controls pills don't, and it's basically just a higher dose of that.

  27. MaryM

    pomelo / 5129 posts

    @Coral: with my OB, they did a few days of bloodwork throughout my cycle (cd 3, and 7 dpi most definitely). Then I started working with a doctor who actually followed a full cycle to see how hormones rose and fell. I gave blood almost every other day for a full month.

  28. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @periwinklebee: Okay, thanks. I've told like two people about that.

  29. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @periwinklebee: I think we need a bump pic from you!!

  30. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    I have an appointment today for an ultrasound to check the placement of my IUD. I've been bleeding pretty much non-stop since it was inserted and have random bouts of bad cramping. I've had the same IUD 2x prior and never had this issue so it's really odd.

    Of course now I'm worried about having to get it taken out. I've never been on hormonal BC and I am not comfortable taking it, so I have no idea what I'll do.

  31. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    @mrskansas: that sucks! I hope you can get it figured out.

  32. Coral

    clementine / 874 posts

    I ended up calling our insurance and (surprise, surprise) we don't have any infertility coverage.
    I did call a local fertility doctor who is a part of a larger OB practice and they were really helpful and told me the first steps for a consultation and prices. I don't feel like this is something we need to start right now (they could give us a consult two weeks out.) So, DH and I decided that if nothing happens by my 33 birthday a couple months from now (which is also the month 3 years ago that I conceived DS,) we will make an appointment.

  33. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    @mrskansas: Hah - I need my husband to take a decent shot, as I definitely haven't mastered the bump selfie art. But basically I'm huge already, which I'll confess to being quite happy about Sometimes, with the losses and time spent TTC, it's hard to believe that this is actually happening, but having a bump makes it much more real. I'm really sorry about the IUD issues - I hope they just need to adjust the position a bit to make it work.



  34. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @periwinklebee: You have the perfect bump! And no, not huge. That will come before you know it though

  35. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    @mrskansas: Hah hah, yeah, my husband told my mom "look at how big periwinklebee's bump is," and my mom was just like "yeah, right, you haven't seen anything yet."

  36. mrskansas

    nectarine / 2813 posts

    @periwinklebee: Yep! I started looking pregnant around 24 weeks and thought I was giant... Nope. Not even close.
    Granted I never did get "huge" because I'm 5'7" and have a really long torso.. but still. It felt pretty big at 40 weeks.

    Have you felt any movement yet?

  37. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    @mrskansas: In the past week I've definitely started to feel more twitching and ripple like sensations, but it's so faint it's hard to tell for sure if it's real movement or if I'm suddenly just hyperaware of every little thing because maybe it could be movement. I'm super excited to hopefully start feeling more soon, although I know it's also one of those things that you really want at the beginning but by 40 weeks most people have had enough

  38. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6086 posts

    @periwinklebee: no such thing as too much baby movement! It's seriously the best. And hiccups! It makes me smile to think of a new mama on this board getting to that point

    I'm concerned my timing gamble didn't work exactly as planned, I think I'm going to o too early. Oh well, if it fails we're no worse off than before. I have been feeling more and more ok with where we are in life, without another baby. If it lasts all month maybe I'll really be at peace if nothing more happens in our last tries.

  39. periwinklebee

    grapefruit / 4466 posts

    @bhbee: omg, hiccups must be the most amazing thing ever

    I'm sorry about the timing - that sucks. I really hope it holds off a bit longer You have such a great attitude about everything, I hope that you continue to feel at peace. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that things work out though when you least expect

  40. bhbee

    cantaloupe / 6086 posts

    @periwinklebee: I think I started feeling hiccups about 4-5 weeks after movement!

    DH and I are meeting up for 2 days at his parents and then will be apart again for a bit. Our last sticky baby was conceived while they were visiting us so maybe awkward cycles are our thing

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