And I think we're done breastfeeding.

E has been sick, has had trouble nursing and barely nursed at all because he's been so congested, and hasn't even tried the last two days. We were down to 1 session a day (occasionally 2), and I don't pump.

I'm so ambivalent about it. My long-term goal was only 12 months and I'm excited to have my body back for the first time in...almost exactly two years (fun side note: I got KU with him a week shy of two years ago!), but I wasn't ready to wean him yet. He's such a go-go-go toddler, and that last very early morning/very late at night session was really the only time he would lay and snuggle with me.

Perhaps a sad coincidence, but my period came back (I think) this morning.

I've known we were winding down and I've been trying to sear every session into my memory because it might be the last. The last good session we had was last Wednesday night. It was the first night that he was really sick, and one of the first times I felt completely helpless as a mama. I curled up with him on the futon in his room. When he finished nursing he snuggled in closer, pulled my arm over his chest, and when I shifted back so he could have a little bit of room he put his arm around my neck and pulled me back closer, then fell asleep. I stayed with him and let him sleep there, with my hand over his heart, for hours, even though I couldn't fall asleep.

And now I'm going to cry.

But yay I made my goal, and then some!