My DH and I have embarked on Cycle 1 this month. Like many here, I have always wanted to be a mom. I'm also fascinated by birth and have considered becoming a doula someday. So I set out this year to completely ready myself for this part of our lives. I lost 50 pounds and completely changed my lifestyle. I've been taking care of my health and that's also why I ended up in a reproductive endocrinologist's office. Three years ago I had a ovarian cyst removed and afterwards my hormones were unbalanced. So I wanted to get them checked this year- and he wanted to do ALL the checking. Thus- DH and I found out that we only have a 1% chance of conceiving.
And here we are at our first 2WW. And it sounds a bit like this in my head:
__Angel on my Shoulder:__
Wow! We could really be pregnant! This is so exciting! The moment we have been waiting and preparing for. I know we shouldn't be symptom spotting, but you have been having cramping and your sense of smell is that of a freak now. Maybe that's a good sign? Besides- what's so wrong with getting your hopes up? It's not often that you get to experience so much hope in a moment.
"Hope is some extraordinary spiritual grace that God gives us to control our fears, not to oust them." ~Vincent McNabb
Even if you get disappointed in a couple of weeks- the magic of hope is pretty special.
__Devil on my Shoulder:__
You are a ridiculous woman. You have a 1% chance. ONE PERCENT. And you only DTD THREE days ago. There is NO way that you can be feeling ANYTHING. Prepare yourself for disappointment, lady.
__Me:__
:: sigh :: What's a girl to do? Will this get easier? AM I possibly pregnant? That would be amazing. And those negative thoughts simply aren't healthy.
__________
Have you ever experienced this 2WW battle? How have you learned to silence it?