Hellobee Boards

My gut feel would just be that it's a rough adjustment to starting school if you haven't noticed any red flags for hearing issues otherwise. From a hearing standpoint though, my five year old has some hearing issues that we're still getting to the bottom of, and it was always more of an issue in school than at home. I think the background noise and busy-ness at school made it different for her than at home.

Our clues for hearing issues built up over time. The most obvious was repeated trouble on hearing tests at the pediatrician/ENT, but she also had a speech delay early and speech articulation issues that are more ongoing. She has chronic ear infections and fluid in her ears, and though we've done multiple rounds of tubes, they just keep coming out too soon to give lasting relief so it's a vicious cycle of problems.

No experience with hearing loss but I'm really put off by the teacher's comments. My kids have been in daycare since they were babies but still had tough transitions whenever they started in a new class. I would be extremely upset if I was asked to stagger my start time because the teacher couldn't handle my child during circle time. She's 3 and it's her first time in a school setting. My oldest had a hard time during circle time until he started Kindergarten! But the teachers were fantastic with him and it was always a work in progress.

@smuckers: At 3, it's just so hard to tell! So many factors at play! I hope between more time to settle into a preschool routine and the checkup with the pediatrician that you'll get some clarity soon.

@smuckers: Are covid rules coming into play here? Can she not have an aid get close enough to help your daughter through circle time and keeping her from being a "tornado of destruction?" That would give me a little more sympathy for the teacher but like @KT326: I'm also really bothered by the teachers comments and "fix" for your daughters issues. This woman is a preschool teacher with presumably years of experience. Has she never had a difficult kid before? How is your daughter supposed to "adjust" and succeed in circle time without practice? I don't think I am a person that thinks teachers should have to deal with all behavioral issues by themselves but this just seems like she doesn't even want to try.

Anyway, I think getting her hearing checked out is a good idea. But don't be afraid to stand up for yourself and your child here. She is in preschool to learn how to navigate a class and a group.

I agree that the teachers comments would not sit well with me on the first day. I’m really sorry that happened to you. I would be distraught. It’s so hard if there’s issues at daycare because you aren’t there! Like what am I supposed to do if my kid behaves totally different there?! It’s up to them to figure it out. It’s literally their job?!?!

Another kid with conductive hearing loss over here! My older who is now 6, failed 4 hearing tests from 2 yrs to 3.5 and we had an epic journey with speech, a diagnosis of apraxia, and finally fighting with an ENT for tube surgery that changed our lives. Same as above: we had NO idea. He had constant fluid in his ears until he had the surgery at just under 4 years old a month before he started JK. Everyone we knew including daycare and our SLP was absolutely shocked after he had the surgery. He has been awesome since. This past year his teachers and us started noticing him him asking what? A lot. Had the testing done again and he’s back to where he was pre surgery as the tubes fell out on their own. We may be getting another set this fall.
Before tubes he was congested a lot, tons of outbursts and tantrums and frustration. After he was like a brand new kid and he’s totally caught up to his peers in a very fast amount of time.

Who calls a 3 year old a tornado of destruction on the FIRST day she has ever been in a structured environment?! The poor girl was probably extraordinarily stressed and acting out. I always give any behavioral issue (sleep, food pickiness, weird moods, hitting) 1-2 weeks before I worry. They almost always adjust or snap out of it.
(Though honestly it does sound like she has some hearing issues which will be good to look into). Good luck mama. Don't stress too much. Some kids output their stress in new situations differently.

@smuckers: he maybe had one as a baby? So no repeat infections whatsoever. He just kept failing the hearing tests and we had to push the ENT so much for surgery because of the lack of ear infections. I remember sitting with him during the hearing tests and he wouldn’t respond to the noises I could hear. He just sat there waiting doing nothing. I thought maybe he didn’t understand the instructions but then they put a special headphone on him that bypassed his canal and he scored perfectly. Finally the audiologist was like no, he needs the surgery and personally contacted the ENT.

It is really so hard to know. But at least you’ll be able to rule something out and focus on the other stuff.

I’m an SLP within the schools and work with preschoolers. Your daughters behavior sounds perfectly within the realm of “normal” for a first day of school for a child who has never had any daycare experience! It’s such a hard transition.

I do worry that you say your daughter primarily parrots others versus has her own thoughts at 3. If you’re up for it, contact your local school district and ask about child find (this is district based in the states). They can evaluate speech and language. It’s a process but free to you.

Her hearing can also be tested with what’s called auditory brain stem response (ABR-what @muffinsmuffins was mentioning regarding the little headphone) which does not rely on a response made by a person and available in most hospitals. Audiologists use ABR on adults claiming hearing loss by their jobs to prevent companies paying.

Best wishes!

@smuckers: Hah, okay that’s normal! But I would get her hearing checked just to be sure!

I have the same reaction as @Littlebit7:. To me that sounds like an incredibly stressed kid who is learning the social mores of classroom life. To deprive her of her education (circle time is where you do the bulk of the learning) is hugely problematic to me. This raises all sorts of red flags and is something I would really think through because it doesn't sound like the supportive environment I'd want for my kids.

But to answer your questions, both my kids have hearing issues. Kiddo #1 has my ears that get clogged easily and sounds get muffled and he doesn't regulate his own volume. I help him by taking hot showers to get the wax to melt and clear.

Kiddo #2 has his dad's ears and repeat ear infections that never presented normally. Tubes were hugely helpful.

@smuckers: I think the teacher's comments were terrible. I honestly would pull your girl from that school and find another. I agree that you should contact your school district. In my area, at the age of 3, you can get speech services through the district. I will be calling in a few months for the 2.5 year old who also has a speech delay. She got approved through insurance for speech therapy and also I got her approved for county services which should help her at a place closer to my house. Best of luck to you. Its so sad to see our kids struggle in any way.

@peaches1038: Your poor boy at swim! This almost made me cry. you are a great mom. did you have any reason to believe fluid could be in his ears before? like ear infections or anything?

@smuckers: Amazing update. Alls well that ends well.