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I think we were at a 6:30/7 bedtime then. But my son has always been a terrible sleeper and I could never get him adjusted to be later. Only now at 2.5 is he on a 7:30 bedtime. I have a LOT of friends who do later bedtimes with their kids and it totally works. Some go to bed as late as yours and have all their life. I think the 6-8:30 thing is a suggestion because once kids are in daycare/school and they have to be up early, you’ll want them going to bed a bit earlier to make sure they get enough night sleep.

I think a lot of kids need around 12 hours sleep overnight, so that might trip you up. As a comparison, my 4.5 month old goes to bed at 7:30 and is up at 8. He’s also awake ~30-40 min altogether overnight for eating. But,try it and see how it goes. If baby is super cranky every night and the regression seems to last and last, you’ll know it’s not working.

Weissbluth actually says that bedtime at that age (and for a long time) should be between 5 and 7pm! The reason being that they just can’t handle being awake for much longer than that. That being said, of course there are exceptions to every rule.

At that age and for a long time bedtime was 6:30/7. Like @grace: said, they should be getting about 12 hours overnight at that age. So 6:30-6:30 was our overnight sleep schedule for a long time.

Weissbluth and others also talk a lot about keeping kids up late for the benefit of seeing working parents. They say to think of time with your baby/child as quality vs quantity. If keeping him up till 8:30/9/9:30 is resulting in more time together but that time is low quality (fussiness/crankiness/overtired), consider doing an earlier bedtime and instead appreciating the quality time you have together in mornings or on weekends. In my opinion, Sleep is a necessity that we shouldn’t mess with for our (adult) conveniences or desires. They grow and develop and recharge when they sleep. I’d rather have a happy and growing baby that I can fully enjoy my time with. When I was working my sons bedtime was 6:30 and I had to leave work early as possible and rush home. He was already fed and I just had to do bedtime routine and it really sucked only having about 30 mins with him but those 30 mins were so happy and pleasant that it was worth it. I looked forward to it vs worrying if he’d be a mess and when he woke from his last nap. My husband actually got home quite often after he was already in bed but he understood that was what had to happen for a while - it’s a season. Now my son is 3 and stays up till 8/8:30 and we can enjoy more things as a family. It was worth the wait in order for healthy sleep habits to be established.

I know a lot of people keep the baby up later and let them sleep later and that seems to work for them. But as someone mentioned up-thread, that won’t always be convenient once school starts, or say your “Grandma-care” has to end and you have to drop off at daycare or something instead - sleeping in late won’t be possible and it will be harder to change the older and more set in the routine they become.

Lastly, there is definitely a regression at 4 months. However as @grace: also said, if it has lasted or continues to last for more than 2-3 weeks I would consider that it’s more than a regression. Overtiredness can also cause multiple night wakings and wanting to be held, etc. If you are already doing a later than normal bedtime it could be that the baby is overtired and that’s whats causing the night time mayhem. Which then causes a vicious cycle because the baby still isn’t rested in the morning.
What time is he waking from the last nap before bedtime?
Just something to consider.

Good luck with everything! I hope you can find a schedule that works for everyone.

Between 5-6pm. If we keep her up any later than that she turns into a cranky little monster.

I aim for 8. He often won’t until 9. My other kids go to bed at 8, so I would prefer earlier for baby but it hasn’t worked yet. He is 4.5m.

@cake2017: no, he doesn't usually sleep through...it's typically a 6-8 hour first stretch and then he sleeps another 3 or so hours for a total of 11 hours in bed. It can be very random, but he is typically only up once. Last night was 8:30-3:30 but he was up for 2 hours, then slept until 8:30. The night before was 8-4, then until 7:30. A few nights last week he did 9-5:30. 9 is way too late for me, though - my other kids get up at 6:30 so I myself want to go to bed by 9:30 (and have some wind down time in there!) Ideally, bed time would be 7:30 or so. He's my third and I do agree as a general rule that most babies sleep better with an earlier bed time.

@cake2017: both my sons had reflux - my eldest was horrific until we got his meds worked out at 12 weeks. Before that he slept like 20 minutes at a time around the clock. He also actually hated cosleeping and being held - hes introverted and easily overstimulated and runs hot so all the bouncing and holding upright just made him so pissed and touched out. Also unlike every reflux baby he did not like the rock n play because he felt so confined. He was also almost an only child because I wanted to die - I could never make him happy. One time when he was 2 months old he smiled at me in the rear view mirror of my car after screaming and angry facing me for a week and I literally started bawling and rear ended our mailbox.

Anyways. When he finally got his meds sorted he didn't know how to sleep in stretches beyond a 45 min sleep cycle because he basically rarely had. We sleeptrained with CIO (it's what worked with his personality). He's had a separate sleep space since sleep-training. Unlike every other reflux baby he hated the rock n play because he felt confined in it and dropped his swaddle early for the same reason. He literally WANTED to sprawl out in a starfish in his crib. CIO was hard but he had cried all the time anyway, so it wasn't that bad - also cuz DH handled it mostly. Once we trained we found out he actually has high sleep needs. He went from sleeping 8 broken hours in a 24 hour period to sleeping 17-18 hours a day, with 12 hours overnight (with a dreamfeed I woke him for at 10pm until 5 months old) and 3 naps averaging 2 hours each. Even at over 3, he sleeps 11-12 hours a night and on weekends naps 3 hours. He also WANTS his bed, his white noise machine, lights off, and his blackout curtains drawn.

DS2 had reflux but not as bad and we had it medicated by 6 weeks and controlled by 8 weeks old. We put him in his own room from 3 weeks on. Both my kids just sleep better (maybe cuz we snore?) in their own rooms. Same - white noise, blackout curtains. We started his bedtime routine from the jump. Bath, jammies, sing two lullabies, prayers, and put him down at 730pm. We also always did drowsy but awake for him. So while we did allow him to fuss for up to 10 minutes at a time once his meds kicked in, we didn't really sleeptrain him like we did for DS1. He was sleeping from dreamfeed to morning by 10 weeks and 12 hours by 12 weeks. But again, he is a more laid back child.

Sleeptraining has helped our regressions a lot - I feel like they always passed faster bc they had the habit of sleeping by themselves. Sure they woke up some, or needed more holding or comfort, but we always put them back into their beds. Once the regression passed, they went right back to sleeping fine.