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My almost 5 yr old DS is a very picky eater ( same as you good eater as a toddler but grew to be picky) and it has gotten worse. I think its pretty normal and at his last check up Dr. said to keep offering. He will go months with saying no to a previously loved food and then all the sudden eat it again once or twice. I totally understand how frustrating it is and I have no advise. I am amazed your child even ate carrots! DS eats no vegies. Avocado was loved and is now hated. Danimals monkey yogurt things he loved all of them then started to notice the flavors. We are down to watermelon he will drink and sometimes strawberry. He only eats apples and green grapes as fruit. Bananas are now out. He did lick a piece of watermelon last night, which felt like a win since he has refused to eat it since he was 2.

@JennyPenny: my almost 5yo is like this. I also hate the food waste and he’s been skipping enough meals to start looking thinner but he’s healthy overall so I’m trying to let it go. Kinder was an awful year for my oldest’s eating and it’s improved so much since (she’s in 2nd now). I thought she would need intervention but time took care of it if that gives you hope!

Literally reading this whole thing is almost word for word what I said about my 5yo to DW the other day. We had pickiness from 18 months-2.5 and then good, then last year at the end of JK he started not wanting any granola bars or bear paws in his lunch. Ok fine. Then he wouldn’t eat cheese, then applesauce, then mini bagels and on and on to this year. Mac and cheese and spaghetti used to be faves, now hit and miss. Same thing with grapes, berries, etc. After like 3/5 days last week where he didn’t eat ANYTHING in his lunch, I let him pick every item the next. Still didn’t eat. I bought different cheese, different meat, sun butter, you name it. He will eat tacos and that’s about all reliably.

We bought a book about bodies and how food is our fuel but that didn’t really work. We talk about eating and how he is cranky after school and that is why because he doesn’t make the connection obviously. The only thing that helps at dinner is if I ‘make him a bite’: I make a big deal about putting extra yummy food on his fork for him to eat and he will eat it...then he wants me to make him a bite for every bite which is tedious as hell so I only sometimes indulge him. He is allowed a piece of peanut butter toast as an alternate, but he has to try bites of everything. He says he doesn’t want to eat whatever it is like 90% of the time the second he sits down.

So all that to say is I never considered it a problem requiring help, so I’m hoping it’s a phase. Solidarity to you though as it’s driving me nuuuuuts.

Having dealt with a picky eater, that is still picky at 8 (and two younger sibling that are less picky) I can share lessons learned.
First off, yes 5 is an age I noticed a lot of pickiness. But here's the thing- kids won't let themselves starve! My picky guy would regularly almost skip meals because he knew there was always another meal. Lots of times that meant skipping dinner because he knew in the morning he would get something carby he liked.
Now here comes the blunt truth- you as the adult decide what the options are. If he says no carrots and you give him something else, he's learning that that's ok. But if you serve the same meal over and over again in the course of the day, eventually he will be hungry and he will eat! (Ask me how I know ).
This is somewhat a battle of wills, but also for me it was eye-opening. Because the human body is amazing, we are able to survive even when not optimally fed (I'm looking at you bagels).
So what I do is really focus on nutrients. I pack a variety of things every day, and I have zero guilt about taking away the empty carbs and processed foods.
I could probably write a book of tips, like offering things with dips; having family dinners; serving variety and so on. But the thing that really really worked the best was cutting out all junk for a period of time. Carbs in the meal were for example butternut squash and carrots, along with protein and fat. In a relatively short amount of time, we sort of reset his palate and he started eating much more variety. And yes we have been able to add the pasta back in.
As for throwing away lunch food, I feel you. I really do. If there's too much lunch leftover, it will show up on the dinner plate.

Full disclosure: My 5yo DS has been in feeding therapy since February for extreme anxiety about putting anything new in his mouth.

The transition to eating in the cafeteria at school hasn't been easy. I send really easy snacky style lunches bento style. I got some food picks on Amazon and I stick them in fruits, veggies, and cheese. I send small portions like two strawberries, 3 baby carrots, etc. We had a few weeks where he ate next to nothing.

Here are some things we are doing at home that have opened up great conversations about food:

Reading books about food. We found all of these at our local library and then found more. Pinkalicious was a huge help in talking about how we need to eat a variety. We skipped the part about veggies being yucky. https://www.mommyshorts.com/2017/11/12-books-picky-eaters.html

Letting him help cook things, even if he doesn't eat them. We've made mini pizzas several times and this week he finally tried some pepperoni and one bite of pizza. He loves to make us scrambled eggs even though he hasn't tried them yet!

I've also been following some great accounts on Instagram. My two faves are @kids.eat.in.color and @veggiesandvirtue. DS loves to talk about what the various different colors of foods do for our bodies and a post by @kids.eat.in.color sparked this conversation.

I don't know if any of this applies, but just wanted to share!

Commiseration right here! Lo1 is 5.5 and impossible. She arbitrarily decides she hates something and then is furious that we don’t have something that she wants to eat I’m fairly certain it’s a control issue that’s a developmental phase. She’s increasingly independent, going through huge transitions w kindergarten, but still a very small person who is dependent on grown ups and not able to control much. She’s like this about her clothes too

That does sound a little too picky to just wait it out, and maybe professional help is a good idea. But on the other hand... first, in my experience school lunch is very different from eating at home. My kid would routinely bring home anything I tried, even food he supposedly likes. He had no time to eat it. He didn't like it any more. It "exploded" and got all mushy. It overheated and the cheese melted on everything. Something was wrong every day. So, very frustratingly, he was hungry a lot. All I could do was make sure he ate breakfast (at school) and a healthy dinner.

Second, does your LO have any loose teeth by any chance? My son started losing baby teeth early, around 5 and a half. His eating was horrible while they were loose, for a couple of weeks he ate only soft foods and apples (he thought the apples may help them come out), and even the soft foods were eaten with tons of complaining.

That sounds like it could be normal, but you also don't want him to be the 30 year old who eats only 10 foods.

If you're on Instagram, I'd follow feedinglittles and kids.eat.in.color. Both give great advice.

I was an extremely picky eater (due to an undiagnosed medical issue) and have one picky and one non-picky issue. My advice is to ask his doctor to run blood work to make sure he's not deficient in anything. If he's healthy, start with 5 safe foods and keep introducing new tweaks with zero pressure. So if hummus and bread are safe, I'd serve hummus on toast. Same foods, just differently. Then I'd serve crackers with hummus the next time. Or a veggie platter. It takes time, but my kids both are open to trying new foods by having no pressure and gradual introduction