Myself and 2 other moms run a mom to mom support group on facebook for local moms in our area. Today one of my fellow admins went into labor at 40w3d after hours of labor her beautiful baby was born with wings :(. I'm in a complete state of shock. I've never been this close to such an awful tragedy. I want to help her and reach out. What do I say? Should I just stay away? I cannot even imagine how she is feeling and the anguish she must be going threw.
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Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for her loss
There aren't even words.
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How awful. I'm so sorry for her loss. I'm not sure exactly what I would say.... but I think dropping off meals and food to her would be nice.
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My ex boyfriend's wife (weird, I know) lost their baby at 6 months pregnant. I sent flowers. I didn't know what else to do. We aren't that close, but I felt I had to acknowledge their loss somehow.
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So so sorry. I have no idea what I would do, except let her know that if she wants to talk, you're there for her.
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Oh my gosh. Agree to try to reach out so she knows she's in your thoughts. That poor family
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Maybe send food or offer to do house/yard work?
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So sorry for her loss just let her know you're there if she needs anything
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Oh no, so sorry for her loss. Just let her know you're there for support if she wants to talk about it or if she needs anything.
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Oh, no. I'm so so sorry for your friend.
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I think dandelion has said to definitely not send flowers. I'd acknowledge her somehow - give her space for now but bring by meals to give her one last thing to worry about.
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I'm so sorry to hear about your friends loss. I can't imagine. I agree with dropping off a meal.
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Let her know you are there for her. Maybe organize a meal train with other moms in your group?
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I'd agree with meals or yard work-those are two things I know I'd appreciate. I just bought a frozen lasagna, prepackaged salad and some frozen cinnamon rolls for a work friend whose wife had a miscarriage this week-I think it's a non-invasive way of showing support.
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Oh that's just so so awful. I was just talking to a friend today about the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep project, which deals with loss and families who don't get to leave the hospital with their babies. Thinking about it makes me sob: I not sure there is much worse than losing a child. Just be there for her and offer an ear. Are you close enough by that you could maybe drop some meals at her door? She'll still be recovering physically with the added mountain of grief, and probably not thinking about feeding herself.
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I am so sorry to hear this. I agree, stop by with meals and let her know you are there for her.
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From the advice I've seen on here, don't send flowers (because they die and can be a reminder of the loss). Bring meals, help with housework. If you know them well enough, go to their house before they get home and clear out all the baby stuff so they don't have to see it.
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I'm so sorry for your friend. I've been in her shoes, so I can tell you that a "I'm sorry for your loss" and maybe some food is really enough. It's really hard to filter through all the emotions of a loss like that and lots of loss parents really need some space, unless they ask for something specific. Just let her know you're ready to help her with whatever she needs.
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I'm so sorry for your friends loss.
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BTW: "Born with wings" was a really nice way to say it. I loved that!
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I agree with the others: offering to be there for her and make a meal, etc. I also like the way you said "born with wings". So heartbreaking
unfortunately this happened to my mother before I was born. Everyone deals with loss differently, but I can imagine your friend will want some time and space alone to grieve and come to terms. -
I'm so sorry
sending so so much love to you and your friend right now -
@Ash: @BabyBoecksMom: Right, definitely no flowers. Not only do they die, too, but when you're finally having a really good day (or even just a few hours where you feel almost human) it's like someone knocking on the door to remind you all over again that your baby is gone. Then you have to look at them all the time and remember why they're sitting in your house.
My midwife at the time actually bought me a planted flower and told me that she named it after my daughter. I can't keep plants alive, so I was like, "oh great, another S that I'm going to kill." Just another reason I don't like that woman.
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I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with your friend and her family, I can't imagine
I agree with PP, just letting her know you're there by bringing food, groceries, etc may be best.
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I'm so sorry for your friend.
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sorry for your friend.
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So sorry to hear about your friends loss.
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So sorry for your friends loss....
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This is so sad. I think you should just tell her that you are there for her, but take her lead on if she wants to talk about it or not.
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This is so devastating
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I'm so sorry
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So sorry for her loss. Praying for her family, and sending thoughts of healing her way.
I agree with PP, just letting her know you're there by bringing food, groceries, etc may be best.
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