Hellobee Boards

Kind of reminds me of a thread that was on here a while ago about a woman who left her two young children in a hot car while she went for a job interview. The kids easily could have died, but lots of bees had sympathy for the woman and thought her kids shouldn't have been taken away. I always wonder how the bees would have felt if the kids had died.

I do not think it's acceptable EVER to leave your kids in a hot car. You can feed me excuses until you're blue in the face. It's child abuse (at the very least neglect), period. Besides being kidnapped or killed yourself, I do not think there is any good excuse for it.

Of course, I'm describing situations where it really is neglectful. Leaving your kids in the car knowingly so you can go shopping/to a job interview/to school/whatever is obviously abuse. Not realizing your kid is even in the car, or forgetting to take her with you, would be closer to an accident.

I think legally for something to be considered 1st degree murder, it has to be premeditated.

What a strange, horrible story. This is the first I heard of it. It does sound really odd but I can't imagine what actually happened.

@Smurfette: Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

I can understand that accidents happen.unfortunately this isn't the first time this kind of accident has happened.

This guys story though does not give off the "accident" vibe AT ALL to me. I saw on the news where a reporter got into the same kind of car that the father had, and they had installed a car seat in the back. The guy was wearing a go-pro, and there was not a single position/way that he entered the car or tarted driving where the carseat was not visible. You saw it when he got in even though he never turned to look at the back and it was clearly in the rear view mirror.

The dad drove 2 MILES away to a crowded parking lot. I think he did that so he had more of an audience to back up his story..whereas if the Home Depot parking lot were less crowded, no one would be around to see him "discover" his son back there.

I think he did it intentionally, no doubt about it in my mind. He had to drive past the daycare which is practically next door to his job, so it's not like he forgot to take a street and it slipped his mind, he drove right past it.

@PermaStudent: I have read, or rather, skimmed, articles like this. I cannot even read the whole thing because it's just too awful, but I've read enough to realize it can happen to good parents. I've also explained to DH numerous times how it can happen. It makes me sick to think too much about it.

@PermaStudent: Yes, I'm with you. Ever since I read that article a million years ago, I feel like it could happen to any of us! It's such a tragic mistake and I can totally see how it happens now.

But I haven't been following this case at all. Reading about another child's death due to this is just too much for me to handle...

If it was an accident, I don't thing he should be charged. The unfortunate truth is that accidents like these happen to all the time, mostly after a slight deviation in a typical routine. To the parents, their child is safe at daycare or with a sitter. The Washington Post article is the best I've read on the topic. This was also recently posted:

http://www.cnn.com/2014/06/25/opinion/hostin-hot-car-child/index.html?hpt=op_t1

However, in this particular case, it does not sound like an accident to me. It appears intentional and I just can't understand how a parent would do that to their own child. What a horrible, torturous way to die. I hope he is found guilty if in fact, his actions were purposeful.

@Smurfette: I have no idea if this is credible

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/warrant-shows-georgia-man-back-car-toddler-died-backseat-article-1.1843382

I'm not going to speculate on whether or not this was murder because there are too many unknowns, but it's definitely tragic. I couldn't get through the entire article because it's too upsetting.

DH texts me every day from daycare letting me know that he dropped M off. Some days he forgets and I'll text him if I haven't heard from him by a certain time. May sound silly, but you can never be too careful and even good parents make mistakes sometimes.

@PermaStudent: My degree is in journalism, and we had to read that article as an example of truly great interviewing and writing. That story will stick with me forever, and I truly do think about these tragedies in a completely different way now.

That's not to say there aren't some parents who do the unthinkable and purposely harm their children. But I don't automatically condemn the parent anymore when something like this happens. In most cases, I think they make an awful and horrible mistake. I don't think I could live with the guilt. But I don't believe these parents are evil.

@Mamaof2: OMG if that is true. I just can't imagine doing that on purpose to a child.

I really, really don't think this was an accident.

Like PPs, after I read that Washington Post article, I realized this really can happen to anyone, and we try to be super vigilant about texting/checking with the other one if one of us does drop off on our own.

That said, I think a few things about this guy's story are questionable. I think it certainly merits police investigation, but I can't speculate yet on whether I think the charges are appropriate or not.

Either way, it's a huge tragedy. I feel for everyone who loved that little boy.

@irene: That's a good point. The kid never cried or made any noise once while the dad was in/at the car?

@PermaStudent: I also view this in a different light due to that article. The possibility that anyone can do this frightens the hell out of me. I personally know that twice I have accidentally started to go to my office instead of daycare but realized my mistake and went back. What if one day I don't realize it? My son falls asleep in the car every morning and never makes a sound. After hearing about this Atlanta case, I put an alarm on my phone to go off to remind me that my son is in the car.

With the new information, I'm not so sure it was an accident. I cannot imagine what kind of person would ever do something like this on purpose.

@Mamaof2: that's soooo upsetting if it's true.

@irene: good point...I can see a baby/newborn falling alseep in car, making it easy to forget they are there...but my toddler also talks up a storm or is whining about something, esp. in the morning.

It is so hard for me to wrap my brain around how any parent could intentionally do this to their child- esp. seeing their pictures in the stories, both of them smiling and happy. I just don't understand. Not going to speculate anything yet though....

We just don't know... It's for the police to investigate, but whatever they find out, it won't bring that little boy back. This is so heartbreaking.

@permastudent: thank you for posting that article. I read it too and it will always haunt me. I hope it's going to make a lot of parents take that one more look in the back of the car.

Ever since reading that Post article years ago, my view on this type of thing has completely changed. I'll be very honest, I think anyone who believes this could NEVER happen to them is just naive. But that being said, there seem to be some things that don't add up. If it really was an accident, he should not be charged. He'll punish himself enough. If it wasn't an accident...well, there truly aren't words for that. But either way, what a tragedy.

I think this particular case is simply for a judge and jury to decide, end of story. But the larger issue can and does happen to all kinds of parents from all walks of life, and they are undoubtedly tortured the rest of their life, regardless of their legal situation.

@2PeasinaPod: @MrsSCB: These type of stories terrify me - because I know this could happen to *anyone*. There are days when I'm so tired and on auto-pilot that I'm driving, driving, driving... and I get to my destination and I have *no idea* how I got there. I can't even imagine the horror that a parent goes through when their mistake results in their child's death. Seriously, it makes me shudder and I want to vomit. I don't think there is any punishment greater in the world than living w/that knowledge for the rest of your life

@blackbird: I think there are lots of situations where the death of a child is nothing but a total, complete, tragic accident, and I think some sympathy is warranted in those cases. The Steven Chapman case (5 year old daughter was accidentally hit by an SUV driven by her brother) comes to mind... granted, in that case, it was a sibling that hit the little girl, but it could have just as easily been a parent