Hellobee Boards

To me better schools, lower taxes, bigger house, etc are worth it. Hell, better schools alone are worth it.

I grew up in a very homogeneous town (probably 90 percent Irish and/or Italian catholic) and even though it wasn't ideal, I think it was a good way to grow up. There's a lot I could say about it, but basically I think it prepared me for a world that is not always richly diverse. It also made me appreciate so much more when diversity is actually present. It also taught me to fight to make myself known as something other than the token minority. We live in a similar town now and even though it has its disadvantages (wj is the only minority in his daycare so everyone knows his name and who he is, while we struggle to learn everyone's names!) We're happy to have our kids grow up in this kind of town.

I say go for it!!

i've always lived in the suburbs, so i can't really speak on the transition, but i love it. i chose not to move out of the 'burbs after getting married, because i really enjoyed my childhood here. i want my children to have those same benefits: large yard to play in, great schools, larger house where we can comfortably celebrate birthdays, holidays, etc. plus, it's personal preference, but i prefer to take a walk around a lake or neighborhood than on a city sidewalk. also, in most suburbs everything you need (groceries, food, drugstore) will be within a 5 or 10 minute drive, which isn't too bad.

@mrs. bird: More house made me forget all about living in the city! DH and I used to have a condo in the hip part of the city we lived in- it was beautiful, in the "warehouse district" and had all the exposed beams and 20+ foot ceilings..And we could walk to our favorite restaurants and bars. When we moved states, we decided to do the burb thing, and I have NEVER looked back! I love having space and a lot more house and lots of little life-perks like a grill! I never missed it at all! I got to where my favorite idea of a good night was to have some drinks or wine at our house, hanging out on the patio furniture by our pool, and grilling on our grill. And if some of our friends came over- that was lots of fun too. We joke that we are old, but I LOVE it:)

@mrs. bird: I think you will SO get over having to drive everywhere...You'll actually probably find that you'll become much more a homebody - like you will nix driving to places because then you'll have to drive back, and you want to drink, yadayada - that's what happened to us. And we decided that it was a lot cheaper, more convenient, and more fun to stick around the house a lot more. We still venture out for dinner downtown once a week or so when DH is home, but it's not that painful because it's not all the time:)

As far as your other concerns, I really hope you're just overthinking all of that! I would love to believe that that will NOT be the case for your kids because that just sounds so awful to me...And in my mind, that just wouldn't happen anymore, it seems like our society would be so far past that- that it would never occur to me in this day and time! BUT, obviously, I am white and would be in the majority in that case, so I can't imagine what it would truly be like for a family with children in a very small minority. It makes me very sad to think that could still happen, even in a society that I tend to think has progressed beyond that. I hope that you make a decision that you're happy with:) My heart goes out to you to have to consider all of those things as well....What a shame:(

We live in the 'burbs, and it's totally worth it! We love the privacy and you just do things like go to the store on the way home. Better schools would be 100% worth it.

You come to enjoy the quiet and privacy 'burb life is very family oriented!

I agree with @PrincessBaby about the homebody thing... I don't live in the suburbs but I moved from someplace within walking distance of tons of stuff to the opposite and I actually enjoy it. Now when I go home I'm home for the day and that is actually pretty relaxing. I'm far enough from most fun and useful places that I don't feel the need to do errands, make last-minute plans, etc. the weekends are when we makeup for all the weekday homebody business!

Our taxes in the burbs are sky high but there are better schools, more house, and more privacy. I can drive into Manhattan in 30 minutes so I rarely miss living there. To me, it's priceless to have fresh air, a big yard, a calm/quiet environment, and clean streets in the suburbs. I'm not white so there are times when I feel a bit out of place, but I haven't found it to be a huge deal as yet. There are enough minorities around, too.