A friend/neighbour recently shared that her 5 year old DD is becoming increasingly anxious about germs/getting sick, but also thinks she is going to “get in trouble” and be yelled at (not by her parents but other adults she may encounter). Apparently she has been crying at school regularly, but my friend said she doesn’t find her daughter’s teachers overly supportive.
Any advice for my friend, or resources (books, websites) that might be helpful?
TIA!!!
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Is this in relation to the coronavirus?
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@Andrea: I asked that, and my friend said not really. It’s been building for a few months now. As far as the “germs/getting sick” fears go, it’s mainly because she still wants to use a soother, but my friend and her DH are trying to break her habit. So apparently she has been putting other random objects in her mouth a lot, and then they’ll warn her about germs.
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@MLE81: Ok, just wondering before I start responding. So we're in the thick of coronavirus and what's helping my kids is giving them a sense of control. I've attached hand sanitizers to their school bags. Given them tissue packs to use if they don't want to touch something. They've been helping me disinfect our house. Etc. Perhaps your friend can identify a few of these things to do with her child to help ease the anxiety?
My youngest is also exhibiting signs of anxiety because they're going through things like not being allowed to enter school without using hand sanitizer first. Her teacher is using her sleeve to touch everything. I can't control what the teachers are choosing to do, but I can help ease her anxiety when she comes home. This includes lots of communication about how germs spread and what preventions we can take.
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@MLE81: I would recommend the parents get professional help. It's tricky though, because they have to find the right provider for their child, and it may take going through a couple to find a good fit, and it's just not easy for parents to find time in their schedules to make that happen.
But one thing....I don't mean to be mean or judgemental at all, but the soother thing. For a 5 year old. This tells me that maybe the parents tend to be permissive/enablers. And in the long run, this type of parenting does not give kids the boundaries they need in life to FEEL safe and secure. It tends to exacerbate anxious personalities. I'm not saying the parents have caused this, but it's not a parent's job ( or a teacher's job) to eliminate all obstacles for their children, it is our job to teach our kids to cope with disappointment and big feelings around saying goodbye to a soother/going to school/dealing with getting in trouble--learning how to experience those things in life and bounce back and move on. You know what I mean?
This is why I suggest professional help, so the parents and therapist can work together to find some real-world solutions for this kiddo.
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@Andrea: thanks for this. It hadn’t occurred to me before reading your post, but it’s likely that the teachers and school staff are talking about the virus and really emphasizing hygiene, etc. Perhaps that’s playing a larger role than my friend is aware.
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Just saw that you added the thing about the soother, so my response isn't really relevant except for the germs part. For a 5 year old, I think they should just be firm and talk to her. She is old enough to understand why the soother is going away.
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@MLE81: right, maybe it's having a spill over effect to their soothie talks!
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