Hellobee Boards

This is something I would love to do if my mom was game (she says she's not, though, haha)! I think open communication is important. Maybe weekly "family meetings" when you talk about how things are going?

@highwire: We currently have this arrangement with my mom, but slightly "easier" because I work from home 95% of the time.

We didn't have a real family meeting or sit-down to discuss the "expectations" because I feel like it's hard to TELL my mom what do to because
a) she is my mom and
b) she's doing this for free! and
c) i think i would hurt her feelings by having an "official" agreement... our relationship has been rocky the past few years, too, so i didn't want to offend her. she WANTS to help and doesn't see it as a "formal" arrangement, and if i sat her down, i think it would be more of a "employee/employer relationship

She's older, as well, and her health isn't the best (she actually came over later today and yesterday because she had taken some pain medication for her arthritis and it made her too drowsy to drive or take care of LO). We do pay for her car expenses (insurance, gas, registration, and maintenance) since she doesn't go anywhere other than to our house and back.

So far, so good-- I mean, there are a few things I would like to change (she watches a lot of CNN/MSNBC and doesn't read to LO often or walk her a lot, but then again, she is in pain a lot), but otherwise, it's a great arrangement. The hubs and I get "free" childcare (although nothing is really FREE), and LO and my mom get a great grandmother/granddaughter relationship, something that I never had. Oh! And my mom also speaks Vietnamese to LO, so she's learning a 2nd language (I only speak VNmese to LO when the hubs isn't around, so she wouldn't be as exposed/immersed in it if it wasn't for my mom). And ultimately, she does only what she thinks is in the best interest for LO, which is something I couldn't trust a nanny/daycare provider to do.

My MIL watches my son 1-2 days per week in her home. Other days, we have a sitter come to the house.
Obviously, this saves us an incredible amount of money, because she watches him for free.
So far, it's been great. He might not be getting tons of tummy time, but she always texts me to tell me that they were singing or dancing around the house, or that he's taking a nap, or sends me pictures of him playing in his bouncy chair that he has there.
I think not being so official is the way to go... it's family, after all. Think of it as bonding time with grandma that also saves you money.

My mom watches DD during the day and I couldn't be any more grateful for it. We never had any sort of agreement, it was just assumed from the beginning that she would be watching DD when I went back to work. She has her on a great schedule and sticks to it. It's great getting advice and once we started DD on solids my mom even began making baby food!

My parents just moved to our state, and so we've been thinking about this.
My son is currently 21 months and has been in daycare full-time since he was 12 weeks old. My mom would probably watch him full-time if we asked, but I would not want that. If my daycare had a part-time option, I think we'd probably consider that, but I wouldn't want my mom watching him 40 hours (+) per week.
For one thing, I think LO benefits a lot from the social aspect of daycare and the routines and all the new stuff they learn. My mom is great and does a wonderful job watching LO, but I think they'd end up doing more or less the same stuff a lot of the time. LO adores other kids and learns a lot from the older kids at school in particular. Also, while my parents try to stick to our rules and generally do a good job, they're bigger pushovers than I'd like- they're much quicker to give him a pacifier, or let him watch a video on their phones, or give him crackers instead of something healthier, etc. than I'd like. It's stuff that doesn't bother me when it happens occasionally, but would bother me if they were watching him full-time.
Once we have a second baby at some point, I think my mom WILL watch our next LO probably 3 days a week for several months. I'm thrilled about my mom being around to care for an infant- when what I'm hoping for is a caretaker who will pretty much just love and comfort and interact with LO in any way, my mom is perfect. That said, I still wouldn't want to ask her to do it 5 days a week, even though I'm sure she would if I asked. If she watched (any) LO every day, I'd feel bad about also asking her to ever babysit at night, or on a weekend, or overnight, and those are all things that I really appreciate right now because that's what allows me to go out with my husband and do grown up stuff, or to take classes or go out to events that make me feel like I'm taking care of myself as a person and not just a mom. Also, I'd feel bad if I knew that providing childcare was limiting what SHE was able to do with her life... like I said, my mom is a pushover, and I wouldn't trust her to tell me if she were sad about LO care interfering with other stuff she had to do or wanted to do.