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I completely agree! I would never ask someone this question, it is so inconsiderate and personal, and if the person not drinking wanted you to know why, they'd tell you!

I am currently 9 weeks pregnant, and have had to lie about my not drinking for a family get together, then Easter, and then a work cocktail party. I was asked so many times whether I'm pregnant and I just had to make up an excuse for myself. This shouldn't be something we need to worry about!

thats how my grad school friends found out I was preggers. I ordered a seltzer and said I wasnt feeling well and they all were like OMG you're preggers! You would have been double fisting the happy hour special LOL

Could you order a drink and just sort of pretend to drink it? Especially during the TWW, you could take a few little sips here and there without actually drinking much of it at all, but seeing you with a drink in hand could be enough to avoid suspicion. That's what I did at a family dinner right after I found out-- I had a half glass of wine in front of me the whole time, so no one noticed I didn't touch it.

I'm the same way though. With the timing of when I found out and the holidays, I only really saw one friend, but she offered me a glass of wine *once* and I turned it down, saying I had a headache (which was true, I got wicked hormonal headaches in the beginning) and when we told her a few weeks later, she was like, I KNEW it! BUT-- she had the grace to not say a word about it to me until I told her.

I did have some drinks during the TWW, but towards the end of the two weeks, I'd make sure to test before I did And I drank less-- like 1 glass instead of several.

This might be a little over the top, haha, but I am almost always early when meeting my friends and I could see myself arriving early on purpose to order something that looks alcoholic at the bar (like cranberry juice and soda with a lime or something). Then I could bring it to the table with me when everyone else arrived and wouldn't have to order something in front of friends.

what about that you have a head ache? i have this brilliant plan that when i find out I'm preg I will start laying the ground work that I've been having head aches and the doctor is getting me to cut certain things to see if it helps, alcohol being one of them. I'll let you know in a couple years if it works haha

I was just thinking about this! if I happen to get pregnant this cycle, I'll be like 6 weeks along at my bff's birthday party which she's planning as a whisky distillery tour and bar crawl...so it'll be super obvious if I'm not drinking! and I've told her that we're going to be trying this spring so she'll definitely know... I might have to tell her before then, even though I'd rather wait a little longer, just so she doesn't blurt it out to random people!

@pui: Haha, then my only worry would be people asking to have a sip of my drink... but you could always say you're getting over a cold or something. Or just let them and be like, "Wow, isn't this drink so weak?!" lol

I don't mind my friends knowing if I'm pregnant, but I once ordered a margarita at happy hour, asked the waitress to make it virgin, and tricked everybody! These were people I did NOT want knowing I was pregnant yet.

At a family get together, I said I had worked out that morning and was too dehydrated to have a beer, so I guzzled lots and lots of water in front of them. That worked, too!

@artbee: oh for sure! I'd try to tell her beforehand. she just became an aunt recently after her sister struggled with fertility for a couple years, so luckily she's really sensitive about this--which is one of the main reasons I've confided in her that we're trying

@pui: I always told people that too. I would say that DH and I just got married and we want to enjoy married life for awhile..... meanwhile we TTC right after our honeymoon. But I ended up having a miscarriage so I'm glad I didn't tell people.

Now I tell people the truth, which is that we need LO to grow up and be a little more independent because my health sucks when I'm pregnant so it will be hard to take care of her. But that will still be my excuse even when I do start TTC again.

None of their business so I don't mind lying

I wrote a post about this too! I also am a big drinker, so passing on alcohol would have been a dead giveaway. And DH and I were adamant about keeping the pregnancy a secret until the first trimester was completely over. So what I did, since I had many social events that I couldn't avoid, was I would always order a drink, but I wouldn't drink any. I would pretend to take sips here and there then DH would ask for 'a taste' and basically chug half of it in one gulp, facing away from anyone we were with. I also once called a restaurant ahead of time, described what I was wearing and told them to make mine a virgin but not to blow my cover. Every method we used totally worked adn no one caught on at all! Oh and if we were at someone's house, DH would 'make me a drink' and it would just be club soda and ice.

Tricky and stressful, but totally worth it for our peace of mind. Oh and I also totally drank during the TWW, I had no intention of holding back since I didn't know how long it would take for me to get pregnant. Every time I announced my pregnancy people would do the math and be shocked and say "Didn't you have a martini the last time I was with you?" and I would have to remind them that you can't even find out you're pregnant until you are about 4 or 5 weeks along, so at that point I didn't know.

I have to say this is one of the most stressful things I have to deal with (first world problems? LOL). I drank while TTC, so it wasn't that bad, but my friends are all big drinkers, and i LOVE wine and never turn it down. plus it's harder to disguise (i can't order a cocktail, because i NEVER drink them) so it's really hard to make excuses. I've used the UTI excuse a few times (that's the one thing people don't question, it literally HURTS to drink alcohol with a UTI). but i can't have a month long UTI. i've been trying to be a little less social, which i feel bad about but it's kinda inevitable at this point. I just hate lying!

I'm going to a bachelorette party this weekend and that will be interesting!

I find it rude when people ask that. I would love to tell people 'no, but we've been trying and it's been stressful but thanks for asking and bringing it up'. But i'm too nice of person to say anything snarky! I went through it with LO at my BFF's wedding I was six weeks pregnant and NO ONE knew yet. I just shrugged off those questions. I was given free booze all night (at the head table) and I just picked up the glass and put it back down. It's amazing how people can be tricked lol. I'm thinking next time around if anyone asks I will just respond honestly and say 'well we are family planning and trying to be a bit healthier'.

Funny to come across this... About a year ago my best friend said she would know I was pregnant if I didn't order a drink when we went out. Since I don't want that to be how anyone finds out, I started being the one who didn't order drinks every time a group of is went out, to sort of ease my way into making it less obvious. Nobody has really said anything yet. Another good way to get out of it is to say you're trying to save money - drinks really are expensive! DH & I are in the home buying process and soon want to NTNP, so I can say that we're saving $ by not getting alcohol. My only problem is my MIL's house... It's sort of expected that you accept a glass of wine when you get there...

Had my first taste of this on Sunday, we went to the pub and the an was I would ask DH for alcoholic drinks and he would get me the non alcohol version, I think it worked but I did not account for how often the other men offer to buy you a drink when it's their round, or my friend asking to taste my lime and soda (she didn't notice). Phew.

Haha this thread is great. I have already set myself up with my friend that I am a money tracker person, drinks are so not worth the cost for me. I think if I did drink more... I think I can use the excuse of trying to save money by not buying drinks for a bigger expense later this year. (vacation... new furniture... )