Do you ever "fake" it? I feel like a liar and it makes me feel guilty. Am I the only one who does this, especially when TTC?
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Everytime.....
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Yes when TTC I used to - lol!
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I eventually told DH after we'd been together a while that sometimes I just don't orgasm, but it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it! It takes the pressure off of both of us.
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@anonysquire: Do you feel guilty about it?
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@dc yoga bee: Yeah, I used to NEVER fake it. I was better at actually reaching orgasm then, though. It's so much more difficult when the pressure of TTC is so overwhelming. I feel like if he knows I'm not orgasming now, he'll feel bad. So, I feel like it's a white lie, but still a lie.
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@MrsLilybugg: It's kinda hard not to.
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@CatchAFallingStar: I can totally understand. It can get awkward, bc DH will ask why, and I'm like um bc this is pre-determined intercourse and I'm not actually in the mood. TMI but, that's the pre-seed buddy!
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@dc yoga bee: haha! totally
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Most of the time, no, but TTC is so tiring sometimes. He always waits for me, so when I want to be done OCASSIONALLY, yes, I will.
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@MrsHansen82: Yeah, DH always waits for me, too... I get kind of worn out and just can't keep at it for 30+ minutes!
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I've embellished my enjoyment but never an orgasm and never with my wife. It would make me sad if she faked orgasms so I wouldn't want to do that to her.
I've always let my partner know that an orgasm isn't my only goal.
I don't have to sleep with men though so I Don't blame yall.
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Occasionally if there is no way it is gonna happen. Most of the times I manage no problem though. I know its bad but its easier than the whole its not you its me explanation.
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I guess this is a safe place to admit that I've been injecting preseed all week without telling my husband? He just thinks I'm really enjoying myself, lol.
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@Crystal: hilarious!
Yes of course we have, by the end our ttc journey we were going for quality over quantity though which means I actually enjoyed myself a bit more. In the first 7 months I probably faked about 80% haha
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Everytime. I don't think I've ever actually had a real one in my life. I've had a couple times where I thought I maybe have, but if it was it was very underwhelming compared to what I've heard it's like!
I still enjoy it with my husband. I feel guilty when I think about it, so I just try not to think about it. Lol
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@CatchAFallingStar: no. I've told my husband before he needs to not be in such a hurry and worry about my needs just like I worry about his. And still we play the silly 1 pump chump games. Meh, I'm over it. Honestly I'm just happy when I get any action!
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@anonysquire: This bums me out
why do you bother faking it?@CatchAFallingStar: I never faked, but definitely didn't make it every time during TTC. My husband probably wouldn't have either, if that was possible! We did Every day and it ended up being like 10 days- we were just trying to get the job done.
Sometimes you have an off day and it's not going to happen. I don't bother faking though! -
@Crystal: Lol!! I did this once last week too! It was past O and I usually don't get as "into" it after O, so preseed it was!
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At this point I usually let DH subtly know whether the session is one I can "enjoy" or not. Usually for me that directly corresponds to whether it's too late and I'm exhausted. We've been doing this long enough to be pretty open about it not always being fun. I definitely have amped up my reaction to help him along sometimes ... I think it's really hard to be in their position where it's not optional during ttc!
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@bhbee: I agree, I think it's really a difficult task for DH during TTC. He can't just "lay there and take it," and sometimes, it's too much pressure for him. So when he is into it, even if I'm not, I am sure to let him know that I enjoy it. We've been together for almost 10 years, even before TTC, we openly talked about how not every session is going to end in an orgasm for me, but that doesn't mean I don't like it or want him to enjoy himself.
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I'm with @Danizaur. I don't think I've ever had an orgasm. I just turned 30...so maybe I will find it in this decade?
I consciously make happy/sexy/satisfied noises during love making, but I don't feel like it's lying. I think it makes sex more enjoyable for both of us.
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I do kinda embellish my enjoyment, but I don't fake an orgasm. I don't orgasm from sex alone and DH knows this. Doesn't seem to bother him lol! I don't have as high a sex drive as him anyway.
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Never, I think my DH would be really hurt. But I can't O during sex anyways, I need other kinds of action to make that happen. But if DH is trying and it's just not happening, I just tell him and focus on him instead.
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@CatchAFallingStar: if you are feeling guilty, you should listen to that and have a conversation with your husband. Maybe letting him know that just a quickie sometimes is okay will actually help him to feel better about things!
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hahaha. We got married in May and didn't have sex with eachother until we were married- it took a lot of practice for us. DH hasn't been able to get me to orgasm by penetration alone- usually only orally. I thought there was something wrong with me because it was so easy for him to orgasm and it took a lot of work for me and I had to be super turned on. I've never faked an orgasm- he knows I still enjoy it but sometimes I just don't care enough to try so hard.
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@Fronkinzankinsbride: HA!
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Usually I'll fake enjoyment if I can tell that's helping him enjoy it more.
But if it's not obvious to him if I "finished" (his word choice) then sometimes he'll ask. And I won't lie about it if he asks.
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I'm really surprised there are so many ladies faking it. What's the point in faking it?
I've only very very rarely reached orgasm through penetration alone. But I orgasm through oral sex and with manual stimulation of the clitoris. DH makes sure that if he gets "his", I get "mine"... it makes sex so much more enjoyable. For those of you ladies who've never orgasmed, have you tried to do it through masturbation? Finding out what you like and what makes you reach climax is the first step to teaching your partner how to do it.
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I haven't ever faked it, I think DH would know and would feel like I was lying to him.
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@HolisticMama: It's very rare for a woman to orgasm through penetration, if I didn't get a little help down there, there is no way I would ever manage. Even when people do manage through penetration, it's often a position with lots of clitoral stimulation. What a great project for your 30's!
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@Danizaur: @HolisticMama: Same.
@kiddosc: I honestly have no idea how to.
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@kiddosc: I can't stand to have my clitoris stimulated for more than a minute. It's too much and makes me uncomfortable so oral is kind of pointless and not satisfying. I've tried many many many occasions. Penetration of some sort is really the only thing that gets me going. I still very much enjoy sex with my husband.
Also masturbation never did anything for me. I'm one of those rare women who don't do it.
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@Danizaur: @HolisticMama: @Radish: I'm with you ladies.
It doesn't happen through sex alone for me. I hit a level 8 or 9 and that's it. Oral and self done work. It's always been this way, it's not DH or anything. He says I need to relax my mind. Honestly, if you don't know what you're "'missing out on" then you're not missing anything. I still enjoy sex just a much!!
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I don't fake it but I've been tempted to. I rarely orgasm from penetration alone and DH often takes it personally.
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@LindsayInNY: how do you relax when he's making you stress about getting there? Or is that just in my case? Lol
@HolisticMama: @Danizaur: @Radish: @LindsayInNY: I'm with you ladies. Maybe we should start a club?
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@Silva: I shouldn't have said I fake it everytime. More like I never orgasm. So I lay there like a noodle everytime. Fun, fun. Again, honestly I do not care. I like sex for the closeness and because he gets off. I can handle myself if you know what I mean.
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@Crystal: He doesn't really make me stress. At this point, I've given up on trying to make it an every-time occurrence. I don't really mind? Maybe because I don't know any different?
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