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I judge the shit out of parents who simply don't parent. My sister had a New Year's Eve party, and 3 sets of parents let their kids run rampant throughout the house, and furniture and toys in my nephew's playroom got absolutely destroyed. 2 of the moms were standing right there outside the room but paid zero attention to the chaos in the room. In the meantime, me, my sister, my husband, and my brothers-in-law were trying to police the situation and getting laughed at by these kids. I get that it's a party and you want to unplug and enjoy a drink and catch up with friends. But you brought your kids, so be responsible for them. I think it's such an asshole thing to do.
Otherwise, I kind of don't care. As long as your choices aren't affecting me or my kids and you're not endangering the life of your kid... To each their own.
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@Mrs. Pickle: Oh man, the oil people kill me. I have a facebook friend who is constantly posting about how she is curing her kids ailments with oils. It drives me crazy.
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I don't vocalize my judgements, but I do judge other parents. Car seat safety is a big one for me. A family used to nanny for had their kid forward facing before one. Their reason was that she didn't like rear facing.
I also judge parents who use their phone as a distraction for their baby just because. I get understand situations like restaurants and airplanes. I don't understand when people hand over their phone just because their toddler is bored or their infant is fussing.
Before having kids, I judged people for letting their kids be wild in public. But then I met my future husband and stepson, who's a bit wild and doesn't always behave as calmly and politely in public as I would like. We used to get a lot of judgemental looks about how wild he was and how young we were as parents (21 and 24 when we met, but we both looked younger). I don't judge for wild kids anymore.
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@Jackiedavis87: It's funny you say this...my 4.5 year old and my 1.5 year old are BOTH obsessed with vacuuming. My oldest regularly asks me if he can vacuum the family room. Have at it dude!
I won't outwardly shame, but I think everyone would be lying if they say they don't judge or give a side eye to something. This may start an unintended debate, but I really give the side eye to those who do not vaccinate at all for reasons other than medical. We have a very good friend whose child had a liver transplant, and he's on immunosuppressants. He can't get vaccinated and relies on herd immunity. He gets sick so easily, and I can't wrap my head around not vaccinating to help protect others.
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@Raspberry: Yes, me too! Then I met a wonderful women who did this due to having some physical limitations and simply not being able to dash/chase a three year old in a crowded area. I think the backpack leash was the safest answer for that family.
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Behavior and manners. I say this as a parent of a very spirited, high energy, and LOUD toddler. We are super strict with DS because of this and as long as he's healthy and well-rested, he is GENERALLY well behaved and polite in public. Thank you, please, prayers before meals, saying hello and goodbye (to people we know), etc.
I know that every kid has an off day so I try not to judge someone I don't know, but people we DO know who's kids are whackadoodle all the time I'm like "COME ON AMERICA."
Also parents (like both mom and dad) who are out shopping at like 10-11pm at Walmart or Target with babies and toddlers. I can't think of many situations where that has to happen but I see it CONSTANTLY around here and I feel so bad for those kids, they are almost always melting down and sooo tired.
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@2PeasinaPod: Agreed! Side eye and eyeroll.
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@gingerbebe: I think this issue comes with future reprocussions, when you don't teach your child how to treat others with respect at a young age, they have a lot of trouble later on in life, with things like getting a job, having a spouse, etc. when I worked in retail I interviewed "kids" (18-22) for an entry level sales associate position. You would not believe the things I've seen. At some point it became apparent which kids had been taught manners growing up and which ones hadn't. It was really eye opening.
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@2PeasinaPod: ha! What is it with kids and vacuums, even now at 8 she still comes over and wants to vacuum, mop, sweep. I'm like have at it!
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I definitely judge parents who bring their kids to playgrounds, storytimes, gyms, etc with disgusting, snotty, crusty, noses. Please stay home.
I'm probably too critical of helicopter parents at the playground who tell their kids they can't do a slide because its too big or won't let them climb something because its for big kids. I'm a big believer in letting kids try and even falling down. -
@sojellybean: Gah...we'd always be home. My LOs run clear snot when they're teething, and their noses always run when we're at the playground and it's cooler. Heck, my nose runs when it's cooler out! Now, if you mean sneezy, green snot from a cold, I totally get it.
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@sojellybean: I just judge the parents that don't clean their kid's noses. Bring a pack of tissues, a burp cloth, something. And wipe it. Several times.
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@sojellybean: +1! Haha. And a myriad of other sick kid symptoms.
@2PeasinaPod: yes my +1 means clearly sick kids. And my one year old loves the vacuum too!
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@2PeasinaPod: Oh yes not just a runny nose! Like green stuff crusted all over their nose. Or at least be paying enough attention to your kid to wipe it off.
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@2littlepumpkins: in CA, it's law for anyone under 18 riding
on/in a bike, including bike seats and trailers. for me personally though, it just seems like an easy safety issue to solve and if i force the issue now when they're younger "no scooter/bike unless you're wearing a helmet" then i don't have to try to convince a middle schooler that helmets are cool. we also wear helmets when we bike so it's not a "do as we say, not as we do." i didn't wear a helmet once i turned 18 and honestly, i'm just glad i didn't have a freak accident during that time and hit my head biking because i biked on some busy city streets during/after college. just have read/heard too many stories about how helmets protected or how they could have and it seems like an easy preventative tool. not trying to call you out at all, but explain my strong feelings on the matter! -
I give side eye for no bedtime (or super late) as well as safety issues: unsafe babywearing, car seats and helmets, etc and spanking.
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I am horrified by people who give their children caffeine. Just, why??????? Talk about setting them up for bad habits later. I'm also really horrified by rude, thankless children. Politeness is super important to me and my family and it shows - my kids are polite as hell. And not because they're perfect little snowflakes - because they're well aware that that's the only way to act.
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Apparently I'm alone in this, or at least alone in admitting it
but not vaccinating is my number one. Unless there's a valid medical reason of course.
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I don't say anything to anyone except to my own sister haha. I think she lets her kid get away with way too much and she always excuses her behavior. My mom tries to say something (my mom is super nice) and my sister always defends her daughter and says how "good" she is. I don't know.. I really don't think that's good for the child.. As a teacher it was easy to see how blinded parents can be to their own child's faults/not-good traits and behavior.. It's not good for the child long run...
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@birdofafeather: @2littlepumpkins: Totally agree!!! My LO cracked her helmet (!!!) after falling off her scooter. She didn't even have a scrape on her body, but I cannot imagine what kind of head injury that would have been. We just wear them as an example, and there's no scooter or bike without a helmet. It's the law here as well, but I constantly see FB and Instagram posts of my acquaintance's kids (and the adults) without helmets. It pings my heart a bit.
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@MrsSCB: I hate giving vaccines (the process of injecting chemicals into my child), but my kid is vaccinated, because science. We followed the schedule our doc recommended, and I felt really good about that. I am sure some people judged me for only giving 1-2 vaccines at a time, but it worked for us, and made me feel at ease about reactions, etc.
I honestly do judge/question the one friend I have who hasn't EVER vaccinated her kiddo and never will. I don't think she's a bad mom at all (I think she's made an informed choice that fits with her family), but it's more that I truly can't understand how it must feel when her kid gets sick. I would be FREAKED out that every fever was a sign of meningitis or something like that.
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Car seat safety and vaccines. I give major side eye to parents who chose to ignore the findings of published scientific evidence and research. It boggles my mind that people will do organic XYZ, fret over whether or not to give a multivitamin and analyze almost every other aspect of their kid's lives (which I do as well) but flip their kid forward facing at 1 and/or not vaccinate.
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Mostly just kids being wild/loud while generally unsupervised in public. I get that kids are different but people should know the limits around their abilities to act socially acceptable at the library/restaurants etc. Dude, I get if they are having a bad day but take them home.
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Most recently I've been judging the person who left this review on a baby swing I was researching:
My nine month old son loves this swing, he loves to be outdoors and the fresh air helps him sleep! Also if you smoke and you cant put your baby down to go outside, you can bring him with you and put him in the swing! Of course you would walk away to smoke but it is great for a smoker.
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I don't shame parents, but I do judge.
It mostly happens at work since I'm a peds nurse. I come across a lot of parents who just won't control their kids, to the point where the doctor has to say something during the visit. And kids who are dirty/smelly, but their parents have the latest smartphone and brag about their material things. Like, give your child a bath. Please!
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@birdofafeather: @littlejoy: we've had some falls but nothing to the head. Hm. It just seems so slow and close to the ground with the scooter! We'll see maybe I will get more strict. But honestly if someone said that to me at the park I would be offput given how normal it seems to be. (Totally appropriate on this thread, but since we're talking about shaming on this thread.) But it would be safer, that's true.
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Before kids I judged people's whose houses were over run with kids toys. Like in the living room and dining room etc.
Now, hello my house!! Toys toys toys everywhere!! My husbands Co worker was her and called it Disney world....
Eta: I also judge a friend who's daughter is so picky with food that she literally never eats a balanced meal or what they have. She's a pre teen now and still basically eats pizza, chicken nuggets and Mac n cheese FOR EVERY MEAL.
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@MrsSCB: nope, you're not alone--I and every one of my friends/family are absolutely disgusted with parents who won't vaccinate. I chose our pediatrician when I was pregnant by calling SIX different practices and asking the receptionist what their policy was. I finally found one who required all vaccines and wouldn't work with delayed schedules and shit, but it was a real effort.
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@MrsSCB: oh you are NOT alone. Why oh why oh why would anyone expose their child to fatal diseases?
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@MrsSCB: no, not alone. See my comment above
@erinbaderin: omg. Wtf.And just to clarify, I haven't ever actually said anything to parents who don't vax or flip their kids forward facing as infants. Only internal side eye and judging.
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@LCTBQE: six?! Yikes. Austin is getting bad as well. I just read an article talking about a private school in Austin where 40 percent are not fully vaccinated. 40 percent!!
@littlejoy: @caterw: @Littlebit7: drives me crazy and makes me very nervous. Measles is no joke! And what a privileged position it is to say "no, thanks." Parents in other countries would do anything to be able to protect their kids from these diseases.
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@MrsSCB: my brother's kids are zoned for a very rich, close-in elementary school in Austin--this is a *public* school--and he told me only 65% of the school is vaccinated. unbelievable. I also hear The Woodlands and some of the other suburbs north of you are getting pretty bad. I'm trying to wrap my head around the demographic, but it kind of seems like wealthy wannabe hippies that think it's trendy? I just hope it doesn't take another outbreak that kills a bunch of babies and children with compromised immune systems before Texas gets laws into place like California's.
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People who sort of brag about/publicize how much tv their kids watch, especially those under 2. I'd never say anything to anyone and I know you do what you gotta do but it seems like some people make zero effort to avoid or limit screen time for their kids.
Parents who overreact and escalate situations with their children. Like making a big deal about how much their child is eating (or isn't) at a holiday meal... no recent experience there
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@petitenoisette: Ugh, my MIL makes a HUGE deal out of what my kids are/aren't eating and it drives me absolutely freaking insane. She was trying to guilt-trip my son into eating this weekend and I wanted to punch her! On other other hand, she was laughing about how much my daughter was eating and just kept feeding her, even though A will literally eat herself sick and we kept saying she's had enough.
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This weekend at my in-laws for Easter my husband's aunt started talking about how her teenage daughter (who has Down's Syndrome) is a young lady now, and doesn't have the metabolism of a little kid, and needs to start watching what she eats, and they're trying to get her to cut down to two meals a day (!!!) and skip breakfast, she doesn't know any teenagers who eat three meals a day, and you shouldn't eat in the morning unless you feel really hungry. All this while her daughter is sitting next to her eating her dinner! And she's talking about how she needs to eat healthier food and smaller portions and I'm thinking "Lady, YOU PUT THE FOOD ON HER PLATE!" I didn't say anything but I judged her pretty hard. (I DID say something about her and her grown-man brother's habit of showing up at their 80 year old mother's house just in time for dinner, going outside to smoke as soon as the meal is over while everybody else cleans up, and then coming back inside just in time for dessert. So rude.)
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@petitenoisette: To piggy back on parents escalating situations with their children: Parents who yell at their already upset children, like that will calm them down. I'm a grownup and I get upset if someone yells at me to calm down, why would a kiddo be any different?
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@LCTBQE: Ughhh so frustrating, especially since you really need above 90 percent for herd immunity to work best. I'm writing up something for work about this and I know it's going to make me mad, ha.
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I judge screentime. I am too addicted to my phone and don't want the same thing to happen to my kid.
I try really hard to use screentime only as a last resort, or if we've had a busy day and it's clear that my son could use a little down time. I got into some arguments with my husband because he was using videos as a bribe. I mostly got him to stop, and now it's under much more control.
I have used screens in a restaurant with my 3yo exactly once, when I was somewhat desperate. I would rather keep him home or make him learn how to behave at the table. We take him out for weekend brunch pretty frequently. It's a nice place but there are usually lots of kids there, and when the weather is nice we sit outside.
We have friends with a child the same age as my son, and they always pull out screens when we are at a restaurant together. I hate it but I let her do it because it's the only way her kid will behave.
I also judge junky convenience food like sugary yogurt. Faux healthy is not healthy. Please buy real food.
I am really terrible at making my 3yo put his toys away though. I need to start a campaign for that but it's going to be ugly.
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@erinbaderin: that's terrible. I mean it's true Down syndrome folks have metabolic issues that get aggravated as they age and you don't want to risk diabetes and what not, so I think she's probably concerned in a legit way but that's a terrible way to handle it.
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@petitenoisette: I never know whether to be impressed that people got their toddlers to sit through a movie, or tsk tsk at it, lol. My 4 year old still hasn't been to a movie in part because her attention span just isn't that long!
but not vaccinating is my number one. Unless there's a valid medical reason of course.
It mostly happens at work since I'm a peds nurse. I come across a lot of parents who just won't control their kids, to the point where the doctor has to say something during the visit. 
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