Recently learned that Baby #3 is actually #3 and #4. Identical twin boys! I'm 16 weeks now and starting to panic about the increased risks, possible NICU stays, taking care of four kids under five, etc.
Any reassuring stories????
Recently learned that Baby #3 is actually #3 and #4. Identical twin boys! I'm 16 weeks now and starting to panic about the increased risks, possible NICU stays, taking care of four kids under five, etc.
Any reassuring stories????
pineapple / 12793 posts
Congratulations!!
PMUCKL is also expecting #3.
I can't speak to 4 under 5. I have (had) 3 under 3 and it was not nearly as hard as I expected. Still difficult but we've figured it out. Hoping to have a fourth in 18 months.
pomegranate / 3973 posts
What a surprise! Congrats! Please join the Feb. 2017 boards, you will make our 2nd set of twins (with PMUCKL)!
nectarine / 2054 posts
That is amazing, congrats! Yes, we'd love to have you join the Feb 2017 board, strangely it's all second-or-more time moms! No experience personally, but my cousin had twins with her third (and fourth), and they have an amazing family and lots of fun. I'm sure it will be difficult in the early baby stages, but then you'll have twins who can play together and entertain themselves (and have an incredible twin bond)... it will be great.
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
I have twins but I only have those two. If you join some multiple groups on FB or find your local mother's of multiples group, you should be able to find other in your situation.
Mrs. Train, the blogger here, had 4 under the age of 3 when her 4th was born. You should PM her or read her blog.
Congrats on your twin pregnancy. It's good to know there are a few more twin moms around here.
persimmon / 1272 posts
@LML: My twins are my first.....but I would agree with @bluestriped bee: that you should look into a Moms of Multiples group whether it is online or in person. (http://www.multiplesofamerica.org/find-a-club/) as they have been a great resource to me!!
honeydew / 7230 posts
My twins are my only kids, so I can't speak to having 4 little ones, but I can say that having twins is a wild ride! Every day is an adventure. There were so many hard days in the very beginning, but they are 2 now and we manage to have a lot of fun (I SAH with them). I even manage to get some decent sleep, finally! watching their bond grow has been so amazing. Also, my twins were born at 38 weeks (had to be induced) and had no NICU time. Mine were di-di twins, though, so the lowest risk. Do you know if your boys are mono-di, di-di, or mono-mono? I think that will dictate how long they will let you go in the pregnancy. I know it will be hard with two older LOs running around, but try to take it easy and rest as much as you can. Also, start getting as much protein as possible!
pomegranate / 3601 posts
@oliviaoblivia: @josina: thanks for the shoutout ladies
@LML: I am in the same boat. We figured we'll be able to handle 3 and got quite the surprise when baby #3 turned out to be #3 & #4. My older two are 4/2013 and 01/2015 so we'll have 4 under 4. My twins are actually di/di twins so I am not at a too high risk. My EDD is mid February so if you feel like it come chat with us over here http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/february-2017-moms/
cherry / 129 posts
Thanks everyone! Glad to see that others have been in this situation and gotten through it!!
@Pumuckl: Congrats on your twins! My due date is Feb. 11, but I don't know if I should be on the Feb board or the Jan board, since I will almost certainly not make it to February! My twins are mo/di, so that puts me in a higher risk category, and I'm not sure my dr will let me go past 36 weeks. But I will probably go to the Feb board anyway now that I know there is another twin mom on there!
@twodoghouse: Glad to hear you are getting sleep! That is reassuring! And that you made it to 38 weeks! Mine are mono/di, so I don't think I will be allowed to go that long. I'm just hoping to make it at least 34.
@Beehive: Thanks for sharing that story about your cousin. I'm sure we will end up having lots of fun too. I just need to get over this panic!
pomegranate / 3601 posts
@LML: yes do come join us. My EDD is 2/16. You might also want to check out Mrs. Blue blog posts, she has mono/di twin boys too! http://www.hellobee.com/2013/01/08/types-of-twins-and-the-implications/
cherry / 129 posts
@bluestriped bee: Thanks! I've always loved Mrs. Train's blog posts because I thought it would be so fun to have four kids. And here I am! It's a little more nerve-wracking now that it is going to be a reality though!
nectarine / 2152 posts
There are two bloggers who had twins plus others- @mrsblue had twins and then a third and @mrshopscotch had a singleton and then twins. I think it's @thefixits who had one, then twins, and then a fourth! So it can be done
I only have my twins (b/g) and it was hard AF in the beginning but now at 3 it's starting to become more manageable. Mine were born at 36+4 ,weight 7lbs2oz and 6lbs11oz, no NICU time needed!
cherry / 129 posts
@Trailmix: Thanks, that is good to know! Glad to hear you didn't have to do any NICU time!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
@LML: You will survive!!!! The first year with twins is a struggle because it seems like the baby care is exponential. It felt like every minute was changing poops or feeding. My oldest was 2 weeks shy of turning 3 when my fourth was born so we were a busy house. I also had to find ways to nurture the older ones while caring for the baby needs.
When I nursed my twins I would set my older son between my legs or on my side and hold his bottle for him. Then sometimes all four of us would fall asleep together. You will just have to find those little ways of sneaking in time with your older ones while also caring for the twins. And when you feel like its all too much and you are going to go nuts if one more child cries and then they do........ just let yourself have a nice little cry with them and know that you are an awesome mom and it will all be OK.
People look at us a lot and wonder if they can possibly all be mine but it is a fun life. I love our big family no matter how chaotic and how crazy it is. It's OK to let yourself panic a little. I think its a healthy fear of the life change that will occur with but I think it also helps you prepare better.
I also had no NICU time I delivered at 36 and 6 although the last month I was told to lay down as much as possible to keep my blood pressure down. My dad and sister helped with taking care of my 7 month old son during that time.
Let me know if you have any questions
cherry / 129 posts
@Mrs. Train: I just saw your response. Thanks so much for your insight and encouragement! I'm 35 weeks tomorrow, so all my nervousness about the twin pregnancy has turned into nervousness about twin parenting! Do you ever feel like the non-twin siblings get left out by the twins? I'm obsessing over this idea that my twins will be so bonded to each other that they will shut out everyone else, including the rest of the family. Is that an irrational fear on my part? Please tell me it is!!
kiwi / 556 posts
My BIL has 4 kids under 5 with the final two as surprise twins. I would say don't expect too much of yourself. My SIL just now (at six months pp) feels like she can deal with all four alone. She also had a really rough pregnancy because she had never planned on more than two kids, let alone four, and she was finally starting to feel like she had gotten her body back because she had weaned her youngest, and was getting into the groove of being a mom of two when she got pregnant. But now she'll always be 100% confident that she never wants another kid. Her husband sort of wanted to try for a boy but once they discovered she was pregnant with twins he immediately scheduled a vasectomy!
And the older two love the twins because they "get one baby each". It's adorable. Plus my SIL nurses both but they supplement with formula at night so she can sleep because she never got the hang of tandem nursing. I also know that each parent gets one twin each night to feed/change/put to bed. Finding a babysitter is a little difficult because they usually need two babysitters (one for the twins and one for the older two, because most babysitters aren't able to handle all four at once). Sometimes that means they'll have MIL watch two while they hire a babysitter for two.
And even though they were born at 33 weeks they both had NICU stays of less than a week! And they haven't had any health issues besides some diary intolerance (which both her other kids also had).
They also tried to potty train their second kid right around when the twins were born (just day training) and she had a huge regression (not surprising) and developed a mommy preference even though she had always had a HUGE daddy preference. They also kept both older kids in daycare during maternity leave and SIL had her mom move in for about a month (she mostly took care of the older two). And I know MIL offered to pick up the older two from daycare most days so SIL didn't have to load up all four into a car everyday (her older two were going to different daycares because of age/space issues).
Good luck! It's definitely doable and just try to establish a support system so you've got people to lean on. I know my SIL had anxiety issues before and I believe she went on meds during pregnancy and is still seeing a therapist. She never in her life thought she'd have more than two kids and having premie twins, a two year old and a four year old was really emotionally draining on her. Once the babies were here and she had two people to bond with I know it was easier on her.
And honestly they do a lot! They go out to dinner and to friends houses and have people over and go camping all the time. They seriously host dinner or dessert at their house several times a week. It's been important to them to keep up the things they love and they absolutely do! They partly bought their forever home as a place to entertain and they host family stuff every time we come into town.
Congrats! I wish you the best! Twins are such a unique thing that not everyone gets to experience.
cherry / 129 posts
@newlypregnantlady: thanks so much. That's so helpful to know. I'm trying to remember not to expect too much of myself! The good (or bad?) thing is that we already never get a babysitter so having two extra kids won't hold us back there.
I'm planning on keeping the big kids in childcare during mat leave too so that will help. I wish I had more family help but that's not really an option right now.
Thanks so much for sharing!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
@LML: I don't think its an "irrational" fear. I mean you hear all the time about twins being super bonded to each other. But in my experience their bond together is very similar to the bond that all siblings share. Sure they think its funny that they look a like and people mix them up so there are "twin" things like that. But all of my kids play together just fine. My oldest, who is 8 months older is in the same grade. They all play together and have similar friends so it all works out. They do get a little annoyed by their little sister sometimes but they also get annoyed with each other. I think its all just sibling stuff.
I think if you just foster the idea about caring for each other than it will all work out fine.
cherry / 129 posts
@Mrs. Train: Thanks so much! I've been really worried about my two older kids being left out of the "twin bond," but at least the older two will have each other. I just need to stop worrying! I'm glad to hear that yours all play together well, at least as well as can be expected for any siblings!
pineapple / 12053 posts
@LML: anecdotally, my DH has a twin sister and they were close growing up, but their personalities are very different and now his twin sister and older sister are BFFs! so they each have their own relationship to their older sibling and each other. good luck as you prep to meet your twins!
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