Hellobee Boards

Oh honey, I felt EXACTLY the same way as you did... I spent so much time reading and researching how, what, when etc. I was determined to prepare myself for all possibilities and then I was going to muscle through every pitfall that came my way. I was also SUPER conservative (wouldn't let anyone even see my stomach skin, no one was allowed at our ultrasound etc). I want you to know it's not all that bad, really it isn't.

As for the bonding thing, I'm sure she is more bonded to me because of nursing, but I don't L.O.V.E. nursing in that halmark commercial way, I love that I'm able to, and that I don't have to wash bottles ever, but that's okay too!!!

I'm on month 11 of EBF, I have never had mastitis, thrush or so much as a crack or blister on my nipples. It stung for 10 seconds for the first few weeks when I was getting used to it (kind of like a suck in my breath curl my toes deal for 10 seconds) then it was fine. My right nipple was a little flatter than my left but that sorted itself out on it's now and isn't a problem anymore. I was terrified to nurse in front of people and in public, I'm totally not a lactivist, but it got really easy to pull out my cover and go for it. I also got over my modesty in front of my female family members (mom, sister, MIL, SIL and BFF) after a while. My supply has always been enough for her without needing supplements. I had cooling gel pads, lanolin and fenugreek in my house before she was born because I was sure I was going to need all of those things. Fenugreek = never opened. Lanolin = used 2 or 3 times. Cooling pads = still in the fridge, never used!

It's really not all that bad, I promise. I think us moms who didn't have those kinds troubles are afraid to share our success stories because it almost feels like bragging. I'm not trying to brag as much as I'm saying don't do what I did and get wrapped up in the scary, because it's not scary for everyone.

I did dread it the first month. I cried almost everytime it was time to nurse because it hurt and I never knew if I was doing it right or if she was drinking enough! I started to enjoy it around the 6 week mark when I stopped worrying about my supply.

i just read prettylizy's reply and wanted to echo what she said too! i never had cracked or bleeding nipples, something else i had been scared about. i didn't have pain except for that pinch right at the beginning. And i also bought lanolin cream and i returned it after a few weeks because i never used it! i haven't had to use any products or supplements. i only invested in a good nursing pillow because i found it made it so much easier to hold him in the right position, but then a few weeks ago we were in the movie theater and he urgently needed to eat, i just grabbed him, put him on his side, opened my bra and held him correctly, no pillow! i guess i didn't realize till then that i had really gotten the hang of it! At home, i still use the pillow for convenience.

I was nervous about the whole experience too, but remember everyone's experiences are different. I have had my struggles with breastfeeding: worrying about supply, pumping extra time, transitioning from a nipple shield, etc. But, in the grand scheme of things it has gone pretty well. Two things I thought of: first, when we are with family or friends it can be kind of nice to take my son back and go in another room to nurse and have some time with him. My family tends to take him from us and they really enjoy him so the time away can be nice to just be together again. Yes, it can be annoying sometimes to be secluded but most of the time I don't mind. Also, your baby might not be a comfort nurser. I haven't weaned my son yet, but he never looks to nurse for comfort. He rarely falls asleep nursing since like 2 or 3 months old and if he is upset or needs comfort, he is content with snuggles, his lovey or his pacifier and even prefers those things. I am not too worried about weaning because he has other comfort items (but who knows, I may regret saying this in a few weeks!) Also, I do agree with previous posts that once you get through the first 4-6 weeks it is easier and you and baby are more comfortable with it!

Good luck!!!

Also wanted to add that before having a baby, I was pretty uncomfortable showing my boobs to anyone but my mom and dh. But I lost all modesty in the hospital because you have a bunch of nurses and doctors poking and prodding at you and that just made me more comfortable with breastfeeding. I had no issues with whipping out the boob in front of mil and my sils. Around men that's a different story.... but to echo all the pp's, I spend a lot of time worrying about things before they happen. Most of the time it ends up much better than I expected.

I didn't dread it but I was worried I'd have all sorts of issues after reading people's experiences with thrush, mastitis, pain etc. In the end, I didn't have those particular problems but did have my own special set of issues which unfortunately prevented me from nursing very long (low supply, baby wouldn't latch, would just scream at the breast so it wasn't a bonding experience to say the least).

I'd say like everything else having to do with babies/parenting, go in with an open mind and don't worry about things that may not even happen to you! Your LO will come with its own unique challenges and you'll manage those (and google like crazy) when the time comes.

Other than BFing, I've lucked out with a dream baby. I'd read all these horror stories about the 4-month sleep regression (hasn't happened to us, knock on wood!), colic (nada), refusing to sleep in crib (he pretty much loved it after the first week, at least at night) and we've been able to handle other difficulties without too much trouble. Problems will arise for sure, but I'm trying not to waste today by worrying about what-ifs. Good luck to you!

Have you considered exclusive pumping?

Yes there are downsides. But lots of benefits too!

@hellobeeboston: SOO true! In fact, DH and I are taking our first family vacation purposely before we start L on solids because it will be so much easier to pack and feed him while on vacation! Also purposely before he starts crawling! I am guessing this is the easiest time we will have on vacation with him for a long time to come!

I dreaded it too!! I was committed to sucking it up and turns out I had a super easy start and its been great. Some days I wish I had a little more freedom but seriously its been the complete opposite of what I expected!

I didn't feel that way. And I want to tell you, I had almost none of these issues. My daughter was in the nicu and didn't nurse at all until day five. We just got a little help from the lactation consultants and then it was fine. And that was it - I never had any of the trouble that some people have.

Lots of women have an easy time - and you could very well be one of them! Find the resources, take a class or read a book, make sure your family is on board to support you, and then forget it! It doesn't have to be all about stress at ALL! If it reassures you, than have a little formula around so that you know your baby won't starve, no matter what. If you go into it knowing that it's going to be special, it's going to be wonderful, and the rest is just bonus, you'll have a much easier time.

My take on it is you have to play the cards you are dealt. Know ahead of time where you can go to get help and support if you need it.

I was very nervous about it, so I took the class and made my husband go too. Even with that prep, there is still a learning curve when you are finally hands on.

I never had bleeding or cracked nipples, I used lanolin like crazy. I didn't get mastitis or a blister until 11 months. Early on we had problems with bilirubin, so we supplemented with formula for the first 3 weeks- I saw a lactation consultant twice a week during that time too. This was a blessing in disguise because I pumped bottles, and didn't have to breastfeed in public until I felt more comfortable and ready. Giving a pumped bottle let my husband bond a little more and gave me a break.

Mentally the first 8 weeks were rough, then it got easier and I enjoyed it by 6 months. We are 13 months in and looking to maybe wean around 18 months. It makes me a little sad to think about that.

@sarac: Yeah, I can't imagine anyone staring a thread off saying " Breastfeeding going GREAT, absolutely nothing to report here!" Thread over.

Hah

I haven't totally weaned my toddler and I am STILL dreading breastfeeding a newborn again! We had such a rough beginning with my first, but I can say that in the long run it was SO SO worth it. It's ok to be nervous but know that whether it comes easily or not, you CAN do it.