Hellobee Boards

I had visitors with #1 and I hated it. My parents weren't bad but one friend showed up with her mother-in-law who I'd never met and another walked in and said "Wow, I can't believe how pregnant you still look!" With #2 I told people they couldn't come visit, I said it was because o wanted B to be the first person to meet the baby.

With DS1, no one was allowed except DH until one day postpartum, when my parents and brother came for 1 hour. Then my mom came a second time briefly while DS1 was in NICU.

With DS2, I had my friends drive my mom and DS1 to the hospital right after my RCS. They left after an hour. That was it.

All of my family dropped in here and there, and I was glad to have them. They live out of town but I would've felt horribly neglected if none of them had bothered to come (it's a few hours). No one else came and that was fine by me, I was comfortable with my family but I was a total train wreck and I had some other relatives ask to stop by and I said no.

Our people are all out of town so for #1 we said no visitors until we were ready - my mom came when dh went back to work. For #2, my mom came right away to watch lo. He was born Tuesday morning, they came to meet him Wednesday around dinner. It was sooo fun to do the sibling meeting and I was ready by then to put makeup on and be dressed so I wouldn't hate the pics and video. We like our space but I was ready then! Of course I am super comfortable with my mom and that made a difference too.

With my first my parents came up and visited and my bike stopped by for an hour or so. Most family wasn't lov so it wasn't an issue, and my friends generally seem to be on the same page- very close family only in the hospital, and wait until mom says she is ready for visitors after.

With my second it was the same, only DH went home to get dd1 and bring her to meet her sister. DH only stayed the first night in the hospital, then went home to stay with our older one so her world was slightly less rocked. It was nice having the alone time with baby in the hospital.

we had only our parents visit in the hospital (they each lived 1.5-2 hours away) and one set of friends who were flying out the next day to live abroad! i'm not huge on the visitors, but i like having family there. if/when we have #3, we are much closer to very close friends, but i'll probably still wait to have visitors until we're home. so much easier to relax there!

I only wanted my mom and dad to visit while we were in the hospital. My mom stayed around an hour and my dad probably 30 minutes.
I definitely preferred that since I looked like a hot mess.

First baby was in NICU and it was October so start of cold/flu season and the hospital had a "no one under 16 allowed" rule going on. We allowed our parents and siblings, and my best friend but that was it. People were allowed to come visit us and look through the window, but we allowed very few to old her since she aws having breathing issues, didn't want to risk getting sick.

baby 2 we welcomed all the visitors, I had a C-section and we were there 3 days and it was a weekend. I honestly preferred hospital visits to home visits, they were quicker and people didn't linger as long HAHA so bad to say but true.

I had both my girls during the week so no friends even asked to visit; I think we all assumed they can just come later on. I was only in the hospital the standard 2 nights anyway. I never really understood why people wanted to visit right away!

With DD1, it was just family that came & went. With DD1 there were barely any visitors b/c she was in NICU and only DH was able to take visitors there since I had a fever and I couldn't go myself.

So I never had any rules or preference even; just worked out that we didn't get many visitors and I liked it that way.

agree with @Bubblegum

I had quite a few visitors with LO1 at the hospital and most only stayed for 20 minutes. There's not that many places to sit, doctors and nurses are coming in and out, no refreshments to serve, etc so people usually leave fast. I also didn't mind the visits as the baby was sleeping a lot

For Lo2, he was early, super fast recovery, and we left the hospital after a day so most people came to my house. They stayed longer. Refreshments were expected (my mom was with me and she handled that but still...) and a part of me just wanted to lie down.

@bubblegum: @misolee: I had a home birth, and this was a real problem. My BFF visited on day two, and only stayed for an hour or so (and brought me food and offered to do dishes - AMAZINGGGGG!!), but we had friends visit later in the week with their 2 year old, and they seriously stayed for HOURS. My nipples were destroyed, I was leaking everywhere, and had the glorious sweatpants + ultra pad combo.

This time around, we'll be very specific about length of time and what people are "bringing to the table" with their visits. Lesson learned!!

@littlejoy: ouch I bet that was rough!!! I would've had to be like sorry guys but I really need to rest but thank you so much for visiting.

With my first we lived too far away from anyone for this problem. With my second we had a birth center birth, so we were home that afternoon. We enforced a strict nap time policy. We were unavailable (lights off, door locked curtains closed, phones on silent) from 12-3 every afternoon. DS napped so DD and I napped too. This cut out some prime visiting time. One of my sisters popped over most mornings and unloaded my dishwasher. An aunt or someone stopped by every afternoon to drop off dinner for the first week and I asked all visitors to take DS outside to play for a bit in the yard. Nobody really came after the first two weeks. This was great, but I was a second time mom. Nursing was a breeze, I was calm, etc. Those first few days after DS I would have needed a policy similar to my labor policy "you can be in the room if it truly won't hurt your feelings if I yell at you or tell you to leave. You must be quiet and comfortable with nudity and follow directions. "

I didn't allow visitors, but had them anyway! My cousin, whom I hadn't seen in years randomly showed up, which was a little annoying, but I knew she meant well. I think sometimes people don't understand that new moms need space.

@littlejoy: I forgot how awesome I am. I will bring you food and do your dishes but my grubby two-year-old will be in tow-The guys could take the girls to the park.

@youboots: Bahaha. Yes. I'm having a "no toddlers for 2 weeks" rule this time ... other friends brought their 2 year old over last time, and they basically sat on me while I was trying to BF, hahaha. And, as much as I loveeee toddlers, A told me her butt itched this morning, and I saw her scratch it and try to go back to eating her waffle ... GAHHHH!!!