I'm starting to stress about my oldest daughter who will be 9 in May.
My concern is that I think Aunt Flow is going to be rearing her ugly head soon but I'm not sure.
Here's what's going on:
She is moody, like real bad.
She is extremely sensitive and will cry over literally anything.
She is in need of deodorant now every day.
She has to wear a bra daily or she looks inappropriate.
And our most recent development is she now has 2 pimples on her face 
I don't want to face the fact that this is the cause but I think I'm going to have to.
Does anyone have insight or advice??
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Oh this is hard. I can relate. However, she is tech my SD but she is going on 9 this fall. I think some of it as far as "moods" may be the age. We have def noticed DD change SO MUCH this year. All of a sudden "too cool" for things, and def moody more than normal. I think a lot is her age and girls around that age being more of a "big" kid and wanting to be "cool"
It is really hard with them hitting that time when they start to develop. Our DD has needed deodorant for over a year now. She too within this last year has needed to wear built-in-bra cami's under shirts. As far as AF, ugh. That one is not easy. I will say our DD is slightly in a different situation however because she does have a syndrome she was born with where she started to develop as an infant. Her medication does help with this, but she still over the past few YEARS has had AF every now and again. REALLY hard to explain to a child this young. Its especially hard when they are so young and hit these chages at younger ages because then they are "different" then the rest of the girls in school her age.
I think as far as the moods and the bra and deodorant I wouldnt worry yet about AF. You HOPEFULLY have more time before that comes. The rest seems pretty normal. Well I use normaly loosly. Its so scary how these changes keep happening to girls younger and younger. -
@Rescuemom10: Awesome! Thanks for the insight.
it really is tough because I don't understand where my little girl went and when this "big" girl came to live with us.
Seems like any little thing will set her off into a crying fit or something. She's just a different child and I was really getting worried that AF was coming in quick.
I didn't start mine til I was 11 so I'm hoping we have a little more time. -
I hope you do have more time as well. I know even at 8 our DD still is mortified when she gets hers, which is not regular at least thank goodness.
But yes, TOTALLY on board with what you are saying. DH and I were just talking about this. Seriously it was "all of a sudden" and it was like a different child in our house. We were like "Who are you and where is our child?" It is scary how QUICK it changed. I think a lot of it is just getting to an age where the change is bound to happen. Plus I think other girls at school are an influence on it all as well. Which is hard and scares me too. -
Disclaimer: I do not have older daughters so read my advice with that in mind.
I think the most important thing here is to not ignore the changes and brush them under the wrong. (By no means am I implying that you are doing this..just a precautionary tale.) It is important that your daughter understand that these are natural changes and something she will be dealing with for a long time. It's important for her to realize that while she's feeling emotional and it's okay to express those emotions she still has to be respectful of other people's emotions as well. For example, just because she's emotional it is not okay for her to say rude and hurtful things to you or her siblings. Talk about the physical changes she is experiencing so she will feel comfortable asking you questions and coming to YOU for advice instead of someone else. When I was "going through the change" my parents kind of brushed it under the rug because it was awkward for them to talk to me about it and it took years for me to not be embarrassed by the fact that I have a period and need to buy tampons. In fact, I still don't like buying tampons or talking about it with my mom.
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No advice, my lo is only 6 months. And she's already growing up too fast! I think what makes me (kind of) ok with her growing up is thinking about the good times we'll have, like prom dress shopping, etc. But I know I'll cry when we do all those things, and when she gets her period.
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I think its just hard because of the age. Like you said, you were around 11? I think I was around that age too and I thought that was young. I know for me I was the first girl to get boobs and then get AF too and it was hard. But to imagine girls this young, or have to go through it is hard. I mean we are talking about 8 year olds here. Thats Second grade. Its easy to say "talk to them" but its still a lot for a child this young to understand. NOT that its not a reason to not talk to them. Its just harder for them to understand when you really think about the age we are talking about here. We HAVE had to talk to DD about this. She is getting better at understanding it because she does have other medical issues and what not. It is just hard though when they are so young.
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@Rescuemom10: Thanks for all the support and insight! I really appreciate it all!
@eeh: I agree with what you are saying. My DH and I have sat down with her and explained that having these feelings is completely OK and that she can be productive in her release of them. She and I sit down and talk about her day at length daily so she can discuss anything she is feeling. She is a lot more open to that now.
I'm also worried about her continuing to develop and how I'm going to explain it all to her.
@artbee: See for me, thinking about those things isn't exciting or something I want now that we are getting closer. I just want her to be little. I'm scared to have her grow up. -
You may have some time before AF, but I would definitely prepare her now!
I'll do with my girls what my Mom did with me - prepared me a couple years before with a clear understanding and the message that I was growing up and becoming a woman, that it was a natural process that I shouldn't be ashamed of, and that it meant I was growing up. Then she bought me a "grown up" gift, showed it to me, and told me that when I started my period she would take me on a special day out with her, and give me the gift.
It helps smooth the transition and make it seem more like a part of life instead of the end of the world. -
@Crisark: I do not have children but I wanted to provide you with a point of view from my childhood best friend.
She started to develop really early like your daughter (probably grade 3) and while her mom helped her with a bra and deodorant etc, she avoided having a discussion with her about her period. The first time she got it was in Grade 4 and she had no idea what was happening. I got called out of class because she was crying in the bathroom because she thought that there was something wrong with her because she was bleeding.
Years later she told me that she was really upset with her mom for a long time afterwards for not telling her what to expect or preparing her at all. She got teased a lot once other people heard what happened which of course doesn't make it easier.
I used to be involved with a girls youth group and we always have a couple of books available to them that explained in an easy to understand way what is happening. These are a couple of the good ones. Maybe if she reads something like this on her own first you can follow up with her and answer any questions she has which may make it a little easier to have the conversation, if you don't know where to start.
Ready, Set, Grow!: A What's Happening to My Body? Book for Younger Girls Lynda Madaras (8-12 yrs)
Growing Up: It's a Girl Thing Mavis Jukes
My Changing Body, Girl's Edition Linda Picone -
@MH.Abroad: That's a good idea!! Thanks for the feedback!
@mrswin: Thank you so much for the insight and references!!
I'm going to look into those books soon!
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