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lilyofthewest, periwinklebee, skiierchck99 4/9 - tionn3
4/15 - dominobee, madisonbee
4/16 - mrs.panda
4/22 - chypmunk, catchafallingstar
4/26 - marfi
4/30 - bushelandapeck, dcyogabee, mrskansasplus cheerleaders coral, knittylady, mrsbubbletea, raspberry & 2littlepumpkins
@madisonbee: Did you POAS yesterday?
@catchafallingstar: Welcome and good luck!
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@dominobee: can you add me to 4/30?
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@dominobee: just now,
I'll try again next weekend. Can you put me down for 4/15? If it's another negative, I'm gonna start Provera to induce a period.
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I'm falling behind because of work and doing some home improvements, but huge congrats to the
in our group!!! 
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@madisonbee: Done! We've got the same POAS date now!
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@dominobee: oh man, the pressure!
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@madisonbee: I'm sorry
I wish this could be a shorter journey... Good luck with the home improvements - sounds like a great distraction!
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@CatchAFallingStar:
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@periwinklebee: Thanks! The home improvements are a definite distraction. Forgot to POAS until @dominobee reminded me (seriously!). I hope you're doing well, mama!
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@madisonbee: Hah, hah, glad we're here to remind you.
My tests still don't seem to be getting darker (15dpo today). When I woke up at 3am to pee I decided to pee on every kind of test I had, and both frer and cheapie are still pretty light. I did get a positive digi though. We'll see what hcg actually is with my blood draw tomorrow. After having hcg that was positive for almost two months after my loss, it's hard to feel like a positive test really means much - i.e. that there's even an embryo that's still alive. I felt really positive for a couple of days, now I'm having to make a lot of effort to just feel neutral... It's going to be a really crazy week next week at work as well, and I'm sure dreading that a bit is contributing to my overall futzy mood.
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@periwinklebee: praying for the best possible outcome for you. Limbo, waiting, and not having control are extraordinarily hard but know we are all here to support you
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@azjax: Thank you
your support has been so helpful! I kind of wish I didn't have to get beta draws because I find the wait between them pretty stressful, but I know I need to do it to rule out this being abnormal tissue growth from my last pregnancy. For no particular reason, I feel this impending sense of dread, like something is going to go wrong and I just wish I could get it over with instead of having to anticipate it. I know I can get through another loss and be fine in the end because I've done it once now, but the thought of it makes me feel sick. I really need to work on having more positive thoughts...I hope that things are going well and you are having a great weekend, thinking of you...
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@periwinklebee: hugs it's just so hard. Every loss (or the thought of one) is different and has its own hurt regardless of how far into pregnancy it was, so feel whatever you need to as you wait. I hope that all the limbo and worry comes to a good end but we will be here to listen either way!
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@bhbee: Thank you
I know that limbo and loss are just a part of ultimately getting that take home baby and it will be so worth it when we get there. For my own mental health I know I need to work on being more accepting of the uncertainty and waiting and lack of control... and moderate my impatient, control-freak, planner tendencies.How are you doing? Are you still taking hpts to test out the hcg? I feel like I have a bit of hpt whiplash, going from throwing out the thing in disgust because it was still too dark to trying not to freak out that it's not getting darker...
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Talking to you guys makes me feel so much better
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@periwinklebee: well if it makes you feel better I am still bad at all those tendencies! And yes I will admit to poas on Friday ... one week out and mayyyybe the test was a little lighter than control. I also need patience, I'm still bleeding from the d&c so it clearly needs time. I don't even want to ttc in April I just wish I knew what my cycle would be like! Time to work on my zen
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I have an appointment to see my OB tomorrow to talk about next steps. Just feeling sad about it and a little anxious. I told my mom and she was really encouraging and will watch LO for me. I have done my best to just put it all out of my mind but then I have dreams about POAS etc so I guess it's never too far from my mind.
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@jhd:
I'll be thinking of you. I hope the appointment goes well. I remember being pretty worried about my RE intake appointment - I think for no particular reason than that I was just worried about TTC in general - but it ended up being incredibly straightforward. It is so, so hard not to constantly think about TTC. Right now I am failing big time. I'm hoping that one silver lining of this whole process is that I will get a better sense of what strategies of coping with stress and worry work best for me, though easier said than done... @bhbee:
I was so miserable after my D&E, I think I just didn't cope well with the hormone drop and my body was also pretty worn out. I only tested a few times with hpts, one just a few days before my period came, and the test line then was still as dark as the control... levels can drop quickly when they're ready. I'm thinking of you and hoping that time passes swiftly until your cycle is back to normal. -
@periwinklebee: thank you
i love my doc and really trust her so i know i don't have anything to worry about. i will just feel better when it's done and we have a plan for going forward, even if it's just to keep trying on our own for a bit longer.
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@jhd: That's awesome - having a great doctor is so important... Thinking of you today.
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@jhd: I hope your appointment goes well! Thinking of you!
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@jhd: thinking of you today and hoping for a good appointment!
@periwinklebee: sending you lots of love
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@periwinklebee: How are you doing this morning? I hope you had a great weekend!
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@periwinklebee:
today
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My husband requested that I not talk about anything TTC related this month and it's actually helping me feel a bit calmer.
My daughter turned 2 on Saturday so that was a great distraction over the weekend but it also gave me crazy baby fever since she's not a baby anymore! -
@mrskansas: Happy birthday to your daughter!
@bushelandapeck: @mrskansas: @bhbee: Thanks guys. My hcg fell to 32 today. I knew something was wrong, as the tests weren't getting darker. I just hope that the bleeding/cramping isn't too bad (I have a crazy week at work and really can't take off) and that I don't have to go back for too many more draws.
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@periwinklebee: I'm so sorry friend. I hope it drops quickly now. The early losses I've had weren't worse than a bad period so I hope yours is the same or better. It's so hard emotionally to have another thing go wrong so take care of yourself
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@periwinklebee: I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you.
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@periwinklebee: I'm so, so sorry girl
When my HCG was low the bleeding/cramping was just a normal period so hopefully you have the same experience. -
@periwinklebee: that really blows- I'm so sorry
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@mrskansas: I hear you, I had my fourth early loss on my daughters second bday. But I have a good feeling that a happy ending is coming for you and im glad you're in a calm mental place!
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@mrskansas: @bushelandapeck: thanks, ladies
@mrskansas: happy birthday to your LO! Did you get to do anything special to celebrate? My little guy turns three later this month and he really understands what a birthday is this year. He can't wait to have his cousins over and eat cake lol. It's cute.
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ETA- my cp's were like a period as well.
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@periwinklebee: sorry, hun. sending you hugs and love
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@dominobee: can you please take me off the list? DH and I decided to do the Provera + Femara, so I won't be POAS this month.
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@jhd: We had a low key weekend with just the 3 of us. We had Mexican for lunch and then cake at home afterwards. She got a new outdoor slide so she spent most of her afternoon on that. It was a good day!
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@mrskansas: oh I bet she loved that!
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@periwinklebee: I'm so sorry
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@mrskansas: I'm glad your daughter had a good birthday. Mine has been obsessed with slides lately! I had to step back on TTC talk with DH as well. Now, I'm trying to not tell him when it's fertile time, and just go with it.
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@jhd: Best $30 I've spent in a long time
I hope the next year doesn't go by as quickly as the past year has but I am looking forward to 3 when she can get excited about her birthday.
I just can't believe how fast it all goes by!
I'll try again next weekend. Can you put me down for 4/15? If it's another negative, I'm gonna start Provera to induce a period.
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