My mom (a SAHM) has this mentality that daycare kids are mean. She said she could always tell the kids that were in daycare because they just had that fend for themselves mentality. She said even though they obviously were around other kids, they were very rough and harsh.
I am starting to see signs of this in my 18 month old. She attends a larger center, so I don't know how much direct teacher attention/activity they get.
eggplant / 11716 posts
hmm.. I have very little experience with day care kids, but I can tell you that once they hit elementary school, all the staff (at my school) prefers the kids that are used to doing certain things, like sit in a circle or on a mat for story time (not laying on the floor, or rolling around, disrupting), line up in a straight line, wait patiently for their turn to do something, etc.
While I'm sure some kids who've never been in day-care or pre-school learn these things somewhere, some don't...and it shows.
coconut / 8861 posts
The kids at my son's daycare don't seem mean or harsh. Most of them have been there since they were 3 months old. The kids play with each other and generally interact well even when I visited the first time. My son's daycare has about 10 kids and 2-3 staff members.
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
Hmm, never thought about it. I'm inclined to think its more of the child's temperament not daycare? I have a couple friends who are sahm and their LOs tend to play very rough... And a couple Los who are in daycare who are gentle/calm.
squash / 13199 posts
I dont think this is unversally true. I teach a class of children at my church and have done so for years and those who go to daycare and often better behaved, and follow instructions better, wait their turn and do things in a more orderly manner
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Thanks. I guess I was more worried about how kids play when they are on their own. I like that my toddler is in daycare to learn how to sit at a table, etc. but I also want her to learn how to play nice when with other kids.
I'm sure there are lots of kids that stay at home that have no idea how to share, but I don't know if daycare kids learn to be mean and almost bully while playing to get their way (again, that survival of the fittest at daycare).
cantaloupe / 6800 posts
Ive always noticed the opposite? Kids in daycare get constant interaction, so they learn to socialize better, wheras a child home with the same one person all day tend to be meaner because they aren't forced to share, communicate their needs in ways that everyone (not just mom) understands and they have to realize that not everything is about them. I know that varies with people and areas but that has been my experience with kids
pineapple / 12802 posts
hm. I don't know from my own kids, but I went to daycare and I'm a pretty caring and chill and polite person.
I don't think it's daycare that makes kids mean, it's their lack of mentors/discipline in every day life.
persimmon / 1479 posts
I don't think "survival of the fitest" in daycare is true at all and if I thought this were happening in my child's daycare I would be pretty upset. They are definately taught how to play nicely with other chidren-using their words, gentle touches, etc. I view that as one of the main benefits of daycare. And if the providers weren't paying enough attention to the kids to help with this then they aren't really doing a good job.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
@.twist.: I think this is really what I am concerned about. That there is a lack of mentor/discipline at daycare to really work with the kids through the little day to day "free play" time.
@mrsmenow: Yes I am trying to figure out if the daycare teachers are doing a good job.
pineapple / 12802 posts
@Thehistoryofus: I think finding a daycare provider you're really comfortable with is key. I can tell you I'm still in contact with my daycare teacher (she took care of me prior to daycare as well) she's very much like an aunt to me and I cherish and look up to her immensely. So it is important that you trust the person your children are with all day. 
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
there was one child that bit a couple of the kids (including charlie), but i don't think she was mean. she was still a good kid. overall the kids in charlie's daycare are all really great and so close that we still hang out regularly even though almost everyone is at a different school now. but it is a small daycare with about 11 kids total.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
My nephew didn't play nice with others and he didn't go to daycare! He was used to having everything to himself, so he would roughly take other kids' stuff when he was near them.
While it might be a temperment thing, it could also be a defense mechanism for kids in daycare. If another kid is mean, they have to be the same way? Definitely something a teacher should nip in the bud
persimmon / 1396 posts
I have seen the opposite in our group of friends. The ones with SAHM's are unruly and don't play well. They also tend to want to be right beside mom/dad the whole time. The ones that go to daycare play very well together and are more independent.
Our group has 5 kids-3 are daycare, 2 have SAHM's. Our LO is only 8 months and its a bit soon to see these qualities since she is so much younger than the others.
GOLD / squash / 13576 posts
My LO is young but if anything he is more affectionate. His teacher told me the other day she was having a rough day and B saw her and held up his arms to give her a hug and it made her day.
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