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LO isn't here yet but we definitely plan on having one! With family, presents, food, cake and a smash cake for the baby! I wouldn't think of NOT celebrating. Who cares if they don't remember this one. Do you remember every single birthday party you had as a kid? I still feel like they deserve celebrating their life. Even after just 1 year.

I think people expected me to have the kind of party that I had. Close family and friends, with a lot of DIY touches.

What I wasn't expecting was being judged for not making the cake! I DIYed all the decorations and made a nice brunch for 25 people. At the last minute DH decided that LO needed her own smash cake. I was going to make cupcakes but he wanted her to have a cake. So I said screw it, I don't have time for all of this, we're buying the cake, at our bakery if you buy a first birthday cake it comes with a free smash cake. And multiple people said to me, "I can't believe you didn't make the cake!" Yes but I made everything else. While being a SAHM to a one year old.

I threw LO a low key party and my friends were not pleased...they told me I was lazy and I denied her of a rite of passage.

I've seen a lot of different first birthday parties: some big, some small. My personal philosophy is for the first birthday party is to keep it small. I plan on having close family and friends. The emphasis will be baby, family, friends, and food. So, there will be alcohol for the adults, more like our dinner parties pre baby, just with some baby activities going on.

We didn't have a party for DD and won't for DS either. DH and I have decided that we want to hold out for parties until our kids are active participants in the planning, telling us what they want, etc... (Which happens to be this year for DD. She has been excited for her third birthday for months and she very specifically told us she wants lots of balloons and a trip to Chuck E. Cheese for her birthday!

However, my sister has always done huge, expensive parties for my nephew, and I think my family is kinda judgey about that. They act like not having a first birthday party is depriving the kids, and my mom keeps trying to plan things behind my back for DS. Sigh. What are you gonna do?

I'm pretty certain we will be having a moderate 1st bday. We have family in town and within a few hours, and I'm pretty sure they will all want to be a part of it. That being said, I know money will be tight so it will be a bare-bones affair!
*edit because I forgot to answer the question*

I'm worried about some judginess from my SIL, but that's because she's a cake baker/DIY extraordinaire!

I"m totally pro party too! I think it's great to throw a fun birthday bash (doesn't have to be expensive) where friends and family members can come and celebrate the 1st year of your LO's life. I threw a huge bash for my son and I don't regret it at all. We had some wonderful photos taken with family/friends and I wouldn't change anything about the event. Even if your LO doesn't remember the party, she'll look at pictures when she's older and see how much love was surrounding her on her 1st birthday. My mom showed me pictures of my 1st birthday party and I loved seeing all that love!

I am pro-party. I think 1st birthday parties are so sweet!

It's common in my circle and I actually think I might be judged for choosing to wait til 2nd or 3rd or even 5th for a big party. Like people will think I missed my chance and decided I want attn or something. But I think I'm going to end up with 2 LOs and do the same for each, if we can pull it off.

We're having a party with only our families (42 ppl!) - its going to be a casual brunch at our house but I'm also worried about the gift situation. I had a huge shower so I'm worried people will think it's about gifts when really I would love to put 'no gifts' on the invitations... but mom says its rude.

I struggled with this because regionally it's not done here. I remember when I lived in NY I went to crazy extravagant showers (like renting out an entire cafe for the event and lasting 4-6 hours). I was stunned!
But here, parties are always held at someone's home, and generally just family or just the little friends.

But DH was in support of me and we decided we wanted Cobi to have a really special celebration!! I'm so glad we did. It was so fun and I still kept it budget friendly even though we rented a venue and hired a photographer.

I asked my dad (who is so anti party because he thinks saving money is always the better option- he's the dad who told me he'd pay me to elope to save money on my wedding!) if he thought it was over the top and amazingly he said, "well this is what you wanted, right?" Yup I did and he said that's what matters. Maybe he's coming around

Maybe I'll be a trendsetter

Pro party!!
My husbands family is big on doing large first birthday parties though, so it's expected that we will do one too.

i love parties! that being said, we'll probably just have a small home party with family for LO's first birthday this year :). and we'll have a tiny smash slice... instead of a whole cake

we just don't have the resources for a big party right now, but i LOVE attending them when invited! perhaps another year!

Have what you would like that you can afford! We won't have a bday bash because all of our close friends and family live far away. I will try to make the party as special as I possibly can.

Sure, why not? We don't have a lot of family and friends around here, but with who we do have around here, we'll throw dd a first birthday party next year. I don't judge others for having them, cause I actually like going to them. My bff had one for her son that was huge for his first birthday, and me and my son had a great time there.

Also, even if your kid doesn't really remember it, your LO will love looking at pictures of it when they're older. It's the same reason we opted to get a dvd of our ultrasound...not that we're gonna watch it over and over, but we think she'll really like to see that video of herself when she's older. Kids are vain, they like to see themselves. DS loves to look at pictures of himself in the NICU.