My husband and I can't wait to have children and we are at a great point in our life, but a little piece of me thinks, what if this is too hard? There is no turning back once we have kids and I'm sure we'll be so happy, but every once in a while that fear of "what if you can't do this" creeps up. Has anyone else felt this way?
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I was pretty terrified when we start ttc. It's scary! The biggest commitment ever. I'm responsible for this child for 18 years. But of course I knew in my heart I wanted a baby and we have a great support system so we'd be fine.
Funny story. After we had the baby I was having a lot of breastfeeding issues. So after an extremely painful and frustrating feeding, I went to my husband and said "I don't think I can do this anymore! " well he thought I was talking about raising the baby, not just breastfeeding! So he had a big scare.
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I don't think you are ever really ready, and the unknown can be scary. but TRUST ME.... its the most amazing thing ever. So rewarding and amazing to see things progress. Sure there are ups and downs, but when you see your child smile at you... you melt. Forever.
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Parenthood is the best thing ever. It's tough, but everything comes naturally when you have your LO.
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yes. I'm pregnant with our first & have been thinking about this. I mean, no turning back, you know? but it's freaking me out some.
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Oh definitely. My husband and I haven't even started TTC and I've been thinking about having kids for years now, but now that TTC time is coming up, I'm totally freaking out. The other day, I was getting ready for work, and I was just "How am I going to have time to do this once we have kids???" I'm scared, but I know that I would regret not having kids, so hopefully everything works out.
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I think that one of the things that calmed me was thinking, "I will still be the same person, even though I'm a mom." And it's true -- I'm still me, with a baby. And yeah, it's definitely hard some days, and there are definitely days when I miss doing whatever it is that I did before I had a kid. But it's worth it. Cliche, but true.
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Yes!! We are 17 wks pregnant with our first (and started trying almost a year ago so have had plenty of time to get used to the idea)....but it's still a little scary. Not in the "can we do it?" way but in the "holy crap our lives are going to be so different" way.
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YES! I had a major freakout (anxiety, crying and everything!) just last weekend. I’m terrified my life as I know it will be “over”. I also figured it would take us a bit to get pregnant, and it didn’t, which I know a lot of people envy, but I guess I never really had time to emotionally get ready to be pregnant. On paper, we had all the things done we wanted to get done before TTC, but I didn’t realize that I wasn’t totally emotionally ready for pregnancy until I was, well….already pregnant. I’m excited too – but yes, nervous and sometimes feel that now, there is no turning back. Huge life changes are scary!
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I am due in april with our first baby and it can be daunting but I've been told you;ll never feel 100% ready until the baby actually arrives
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I don't think so but I'm ready for the unknown even if it is scary.
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I think most people have that fear at some point. And I don't know if it's actually possible to be completely ready. There are things you can't prepare for. But, you will find that when you have a baby, everything works out. Sounds cliche but it's true. Things you didn't think you could do, you're suddenly able to do without a problem. And obstacles, worries, trivial matters all kinda fade away. Of course sometimes they're replaced by other concerns. But the transformation is amazing.
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We've been trying for over a year & I still don't think I'm ready
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I think it is impossible for me to be 100% ready because I have no idea what I am getting into! But I am ready enough.
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@tana_bk: I agree with what you said! It's just so hard to even fathom it so it's hard to be 100% ready!
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Yes. I am 14.5 wks preganant and I am still fraeked out by what this will mean for our lives. It is incredibly exciting, yet daunting and intimidating.
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YES!! We are in the same boat, we are so ready and both our instincts tell us this is the right time to try, however we are scared that we won't be able to do it! We were with family this weekend to celebrate the holidays and we watched my BIL & SIL take care of our niece, and it made us more nervous I think!
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When my baby fever gets too crazy, I remind myself: Once we have a baby, we are parents for the rest of our lives. Even after the kid is grown-up, we will always be parents. It will always be a huge part of our lives, our identities, our relationship with each other. When I think of it that way, I'm like, okay, I can wait a little bit!
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I don't think anyone's ever REALLY ready. I mean, you hear about others' experiences, you read about it, but it's totally different until it happens to you. When DH and I decided to TTC, we actually stopped because it freaked us out! We're only in our 1st trimester right now, so we have plenty of time to still freak out.
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The closer that DH and I got to TTC, the less ready I was. We decided that after both of us were feeling "ready" everyday for an entire week, that we'd start officially TTC. Once we started TTC, I just put myself into a positive bubble, thinking that things would work out and we'd be okay. During my pregnancy I started worrying a lot about daycare cost and finances, but DH handles all our finances, so I just made him reassure me that we'd be fine and stayed in my bubble. And we've made it work without too much trouble. We were and still are as ready as we could be and we are both totally in love with parenthood. Now as far as #2 goes - I could not be any less ready! Maybe in a year. Or three.
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Haha even though I already have a child I was so scared when we actually started trying for #2. I knew I wanted another child and I knew we were in a pretty good place to do so but I was still scared that we weren't ACTUALLY ready to have another LO to take care of.
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Finally YES! DH and I have always had one reason or another to wait as long as we have. DH and I have taken eeeeeverything slow. dated for years, then long engagement.....friends/family have been hounding us forever about when we are going to have a child. We finally feel like its the right time. I knew my career was going to take a shift, and it did about 2 years ago. So in a new career path, bought a house, and most importantly DH's DD is older. It took me a long time to be able to admit it and talk about it, but I was always worried about getting pregnant earlier because I didnt think it would be fair to SD. Bad custody case and lots of struggles there. SD when she was younger was so confused and "used" by DH's ex to get "back" at him and she seriously manipulated her. She still does but SD is older and knows better now and is aware of her mothers games (which of course we DO NOT tell her, or talk bad about her mother). I always felt like adding another child into the mix would make things worse and take away from her when we really needed to work things out on that end if that makes sense. Even though she has been asking for a sister sinse the day after we got married. Last Christmas she asked if her baby sister could come out of my tummy intime for Christmas. She was seriously disappointed there was no baby in there. LOL
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We are ready to have a baby, so very ready. I know we are ready because we've embraced the fact that we won't be able to control everything and know that life is going to throw us curveballs. After everything that's happened this year, we just want our own little one.
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Of course! We are ready on paper, but I think it is totally normal to have doubts come up. You still get 9+ months to mentally prepare, but at the end of that 9 months right now- I'm starting to panic again. There is so much that you aren't in control of, I'm doing my best to just go with it.
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I was freaking out about it literally the days before we got our BFP but now I'm too tired to think about it. We want this so much that I know we are ready even if we're not prepared for the change that will happen once this little one arrives. We'll just see what happens and try to enjoy the ride!
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We're expecting soon, but I wouldn't say we're ready. But honestly, whose ever 100% ready for anything in life?! There's always the unknown with things like this.
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@Beyond2: I go back and forth on this feeling as we are actively TTC right now. While we are both ready, I am very conscious of the "life changes when baby comes" advice that we've received and it definitely crosses my mind, as we are crossing this bridge to another new chapter! I don't think we'll ever feel 100% ready for anything new in life, but we are excited and prepared to try!!
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On paper we are definitely ready and I think we are emotionally ready as well. We just went through a pregnancy loss and I think it makes us feel even more ready than before. When we first found out we were expecting we knew that no matter what the outcome of the pregnancy was that things would never be the same. We've been together for over a decade and married for over a year. I know our lives will change dramatically and I'm kinda looking forward to that.
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I thought I was ready, but in my first trimester I had a lot of anxiety and moods where I wondered if I really was ready. I think a lot of that was hormonal. That passed although I was pretty much in denial until the baby came out LOL
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