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Are you religious?

  1. dc yoga bee

    grapefruit / 4770 posts

    @Mrs. Sunshine: three different people and could not get a straight answer. Which made it all the more strange.

  2. Mrs. Sunshine

    hostess / cantaloupe / 6486 posts

    @dc yoga bee: that is so strange. I will be praying that God will give you & your family guidance as to where He wants you to be!

  3. Skadi

    apricot / 456 posts

    DH and I are atheists. We aren't open to having our children explore religion until they are in their teens. I don't think children under, say, the age of 13 are psychologically capable of making a decision like that for themselves with real discernment. Until they reach an age where their brains can truly undertake more abstract thought, we'll teach them the truth as we ourselves understand it--which is that there is no evidence that there is a god(s). While we will teach them religion's place in history (we plan to homeschool) we will not "expose" them to religion by bringing them to any churches or temples, etc. That said, if they became religious as a teen/adult, that would be fine. I would only have a problem with it if they tried to convert us or openly condemned us for being nonreligious.

  4. .twist.

    pineapple / 12802 posts

    @yoursilverlining: as usual, DITTO.

    My husband and I are both atheists (him more recently than myself). I would be fine with our kids exploring other religious beliefs as long as they are old enough to realize it is a belief and many people have different beliefs. If, one day, he decides he would like to start practicing a particular belief, I will make sure he is well educated in it, so as to know what he's getting into. I'd prefer he learn about multiple religious beliefs rather than pigeon holing himself into just one.

  5. TemperanceBrennan

    pear / 1998 posts

    DH and I are atheists. We don't believe there is a god/gods, but we don't "know" (just like religious people don't "know" there is one/some).

    We plan to teach our future little ones the history of all religion (kind of using the book the Evolution of God as sort of an outline). I want them to know the historical context of religion and not feel out of the loop when religion is discussed in a cultural context. I want to teach them that religion does not dictate morality.

    I'm not opposed to teaching them variations of parables of the bible, but it would be more in the context of fables.

    In theory, I would be supportive if my future kids chose to be religious, but it would be really hard if they joined a church that had teaching/principles that I fundamentally disagree with.

  6. Elderberrygin

    kiwi / 689 posts

    We're both atheists but DH is a "will never darken the door of a church" type of an atheist whereas I had a very positive experience growing up and going to my family's (liberal Protestant) church so I'm more of a UU atheist. Plus I'm getting my PhD in religious studies so I'm generally interested in religions.

    I would be fine with my daughter exploring religions and finding a spiritual path that suited her, but would be disappointed if it didn't gel with the values that are important to us.

  7. Grace

    cantaloupe / 6730 posts

    DH and I are both Catholic and consider it very important to teach LO in our faith. I would be very sad if she didn't feel as close to God as I do. But all I can do is try my best.

  8. Mrs. Oatmeal

    blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts

    @pui: you said this much better than I could have. Yes, exactly.

  9. Boheme

    papaya / 10473 posts

    I grew up Methodist, DH grew up Southern Baptist. DH is now the worship pastor of a non-denominational church. I believe, but I also very much wrestle with parts of Christianity (and all religions for that matter) that I don't agree with. I feel like many people abuse the principles and words of the Bible, and many people have their own interpretation of the moral code of Christianity. So I'd call myself a jaded believer.

  10. deactivated_account

    GOLD / pomegranate / 3938 posts

    @Rainbow Sprinkles: I love your response!!!!!

  11. LuLu Mom

    GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts

    @MrsMcD: Exactly the same! He doesn't go to Mass, can't even remember the last time he took communion or did confession, but isn't ready to commit or fully enjoy the church we choose together.

  12. .twist.

    pineapple / 12802 posts

    @pui: Is there a special way to "live as a Christian"? Genuinely curious.

    I hope that my child will grow up being a person that emulates the way I, as an atheist, live. By being kind, generous, caring, empathetic, gentle. All traits I feel don't need a God to make a good human.

    (I am really not trying to start any wars! Just curious!)

  13. PurplePeony

    pomegranate / 3113 posts

    @Torchwood: my views are just like your husband's. My DH is an athiest. He comes from a country where the balance between a secular government and religious society is tenuous and hS been tipping toward religion, and he is very upset by the things that have been going on there. We intend to raise our DD (and any other kids we might have) to know about religions from an academic/historical perspective, but we will not attend religious services and will try to limit how much exposure she gets to organized religion. If she decides when she gets older that a specific religion interests her, we'll figure out how we feel about it at that time.

    ETA: it's interesting how many agnostics and atheists are here, especially since so many of the blogger bees seem to be pretty religious.

  14. 2PeasinaPod

    pomelo / 5524 posts

    I'm Orthodox Christian and DH is Catholic. We're both fairly religious and baptized LO in the Orthodox Church. We plan to raise him within the religion and are very open to him choosing his own when he's older.

    I take great comfort in my faith. It's gotten me through a lot of hard times, but very much respect that others' views may not be the same as mine.

  15. cyndistar3

    pomegranate / 3980 posts

    My husband and I are non-denominational Christians. I think of myself more as a believer than "religious" because I don't agree with what religion implies. We have a relationship with God because we love him and we acknowledge that we need his help. From the day our children are born we encourage the growth of their relationship with God, it's not a forced matter but my 5 year old knows that God cares for her and loves her and she loves him right back, he gives her unspeakable comfort so I would be more sad than anything if she were to try other religions. But I also plan on teaching them to be respectful of what other people believe even if it's not what we agree with because being disrespectful is completely counterproductive.

  16. Torchwood

    pomelo / 5607 posts

    @locavore_mama: That would really frustrate me. Thankfully our families (well, mine primarily) are pretty respectful of our lack of belief. My mother didn't push for prayers before meals when we lived with her for a bit. Extended family meals (we usually eat at my grandmother's every couple weeks) are preceded by a prayer, but they don't ask us to say anything, and don't object to the fact that I simply stand quietly, and don't close my eyes or bow my head.

    We'll celebrate multiple holidays, etc, like I said, to balance the overwhelming amount of Christianity that is unavoidable, both from my family and from living in the Bible Belt. I wish I could limit LO's exposure to organized religion until she (and any other kids we have) is older, like some have said, but the reality is that the only way to do it would be to completely cut off all contact with both sides of my family. And I think the benefits of being close to family out weigh the exposure. No child of mine will ever attend VBS or a religious summer camp or something similar, however. They are entirely too high pressure, and I experienced that many times. It's not healthy.

    We'll just treat religious stories the same as a religious person would treat a greek myth, as a story. There's plenty of time for them to understand later that some people really do believe these things are true.

  17. .twist.

    pineapple / 12802 posts

    @Torchwood: I agree. my MIL is quite religious and I can't just cut her our of our life. Especially because, besides the religious bits, I love her very dearly. We tease each other about believing/not believing.

    She talks about God on a regular basis and I am not going to ask her to NOT do that in front of my child because it's a part of who she is. However, if my kid comes home talking about God, or telling me that nonna told him this or that, I will probably sit down with him and try to explain that it is what nonna believes. Or something like that. I haven't quite figured out the logistics of it yet...

  18. Arden

    honeydew / 7589 posts

    I have personal beliefs I'm passionate about. I am not "religious". I'm still learning and growing and exploring and questioning. I have not found a "religion" that fully aligns with my beliefs and I will not change my deep convictions just so that I can fit in a box.

    I want my daughter to understand the basic tenants of all belief systems so that she can be respectful in various cultures and appreciate our differences.

    I will raise her to question, study, explore, and search for truth. I never want her to follow a path just because that is what one organization tells her in the right one. I want her to be secure and happy in her decision and never feel forced or pressured.

  19. yellowbird

    honeydew / 7303 posts

    I am a believer. My husband and I are both non denominational Christians and go to church every Sunday because we looooove going and it really strengthens our relationship with God and each other. I fully support my little one exploring whatever religions they choose because I was not always a believer. I do think it is important to know why you believe and be 100% in your faith.

  20. twodoghouse

    honeydew / 7230 posts

    We are both atheists. I want to be open minded about our LOs exploring religion, but we aren't going to necessarily facilitate the exploration, if that makes sense. If they develop an interest in a religion we'll be supportive just like we would be of other interests.

  21. pui

    bananas / 9899 posts

    @.twist.: Essentially, trying to be as Christ-Like (Christian) as possible on a day to day bases. It's not just about what I do, is also about my attitude toward things, situations and people, coming from Biblical values. I don't believe I could do it without God's help. I would say one of the main things that drew me towards Christ was a difference I saw in His followers that I didn't see in everyone else. It's hard to explain.

  22. Lindsay05

    pomegranate / 3759 posts

    I don't know. Neither DH or I attend church. I believe in an afterlife, 'higher power', being spiritual, heaven, etc. However, I do not know where I belong in religion. I am also a big believer in evolution, but am open to that God created evolution. I think I just have my own belief system that makes me happy. Oy, I feel like I offended so many beliefs just by my pure ignorance.

  23. looch

    wonderful pear / 26210 posts

    I plan to expose my son to religion just as we do with other subjects, there is a wide variety and he can choose what suits him.

    I am a recovering Catholic. I have major issues with the handling of the abuse scandal and the treatment of homosexuals and divorced people.

  24. PixieStix

    apricot / 322 posts

    We follow closest to being Christians, though we don't go to church. I grew up in a non-traditional Christian home where my mother was the teacher about the Bible and what she believed, but my mother hasn't been very fond of churches in general so we were never taken to church as a child. I was able to explore different churches of my choosing, and went to several but never got connected.

    I plan on teaching our kids much the same way.

  25. gingerbebe

    cantaloupe / 6131 posts

    DH and I are both non-denominational Evangelical Christians. We were both raised in Christian families but became devoutly committed independently in our 20's. We are 99.9% on the same page spiritually and consider our faith the fundamental underpinning of our marriage. Actually, we consider it the most important thing in our life, period.

    Our children will definitely be raised as Christians. While we've considered homeschooling our kids for many reasons, one of the biggest is that we could integrate faith and education more freely than we could if our children were in public school.

    That said, one of the fundamental tenets of Christianity is that God loves each of us unconditionally and gives us complete freedom to choose a relationship with Him. Thus, if our children decided to explore other faiths or belief systems, we would respect their freedom to do so and love them just the same. Don't get me wrong - we would be gutted, sad, and would fervently pray they would come back into a relationship with Christ. But their choice of beliefs would not affect how much we loved them.

  26. Applesandbananas

    pomegranate / 3845 posts

    We are Catholic and are raising LO in the church. It aligns best with my personal beliefs. LO will attend Catholic schools all the way through high school.

    If he wanted to explore other religions, we'd be as supportive as would could but would pray he'd find his way back to the Catholic Church.

    ETA: I wish there'd been a poll

  27. Weagle

    coconut / 8498 posts

    @dc yoga bee: walling you

  28. Mrs. Confetti

    blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts

    We are both Jewish - I grew up conservative and DH is non-practicing. We rarely go to temple outside the high holidays. And when it comes to "beliefs", I think we both connect more culturally and community-wise to Judaism than really as "believers". We are more agnostic in that sense.

    That said, I would love for Colin to grow up feeling connected to his Jewish roots and wouldn't be opposed to him becoming more religious than we are.
    .
    I think mostly because we have several holocaust survivors in our family, it would be hard for me to see my children leave the Jewish faith in favor of another religion. Although also, I want him to be exposed and educated about all religions, and I believe there can be great wisdom in understanding and appreciating the traditions and beliefs of others.

  29. Synchronicity

    grapefruit / 4089 posts

    We are both non-religious. My SO was raised a Christian, but now considers himself athiest. I was raised with no religion at all (the only time I've been to church is for weddings/funerals), but I consider myself to be agnostic. I've explored a lot of different religions, and I don't feel that I fit with any one in particular.

    I think we will encourage our children to explore and learn as much as possible, but we won't push or guide them in any one direction.

  30. gingerbebe

    cantaloupe / 6131 posts

    @dc yoga bee: I believe the Disciples of Christ celebrate communion every week, but I don't know how their tenets compare to the Baptist Convention.

  31. hilsy85

    squash / 13764 posts

    Both Jewish but non religious--I consider myself culturally Jewish, religiously agnostic. DH is an athiest. I wouldn't necessarily discourage LO's involvement in any religion, but I would be really surprised if he did become religious (in any religion) because it's just something that's not a part of our lives.

  32. Katrocap

    persimmon / 1230 posts

    Both DH and I are atheists. He grew up Catholic and I grew up Disciples of Christ (a small Christian denomination similar to Presbyterianism), but neither of us were ever believers. I wouldn't mind it if DS studied world religions, but I would be surprised and honestly a little disappointed if he became religious himself.

    @gingerbebe: Disciples do take communion every week but their services and beliefs are quite different than Baptists.

  33. PixieStix

    apricot / 322 posts

    @gingerbebe: That's pretty cool. I was homeschooled myself with a Christian curriculum.

  34. meredithNYC

    pomegranate / 3314 posts

    I'm Catholic and my children will be raised in the religion and attend Catholic schools. I love the traditions and the very strong sense of community. If LO decided to leave the church, I would be supportive but I can't deny that I would be very sad.

  35. Greentea

    pomelo / 5678 posts

    Had a very negative experience with Christianity most of my life. My mom's like the mom from the original "Carrie."

  36. mrsjyw

    GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts

    I grew up United Methodist, DH grew up Catholic.

    We both identify ourselves as Christians and JesusLovers. We try to live our faith in our lives and will raise our child(ren) in the sane faith.

    We attend mass and/or church on a regular basis.

  37. Running Elley

    coconut / 8681 posts

    We're religious. I grew up Catholic and still love the religion but don't practice. DH grew up Southern Baptist and we attend/are very involved in a church of that denomination.

    We will definitely be raising our children in the faith-it's something that is very important to us.

  38. mamimami

    grapefruit / 4120 posts

    I am Christian (right now going to an evangelical church) and my husband is an ex-catholic atheist. We agreed long ago to raise our kids in the church - me for obvious reasons and my husband because he appreciates the structure, community and moral instruction offered by religious education.

    I don't think beliefs can really be imposed on someone. I want them to have an authentic faith so I think my role as many have stated is to give them the knowledge, be a good model of faith and sort of point them in the direction of Christ. I know they will be exposed to other religions at their secular k-12 school and I think that is healthy. I hope they will come to their own Christian faith when they're old enough to make that decision.

  39. Bea

    kiwi / 578 posts

    @dc yoga bee: @Mrs. Sunshine: right there with you guys! Both DH and I grew up southern baptist. Denomination isn't as huge of a deal to me as I've gotten older--just my relationship with Jesus Christ. But the church definitely has to preach the Truth and communion is a must for us. We will definitely be raising our children in Christianity but when the time comes only they can decide if they want to follow Jesus and have a relationship with Him.

    @dc yoga bee: will be praying for you as well! i know it can feel pretty empty to not be able to find the right church home for your family. Praying for God's guidance.

  40. doodlepoodle

    grapefruit / 4136 posts

    DH and I were both baptized & raised in the episcopal church but do not practice at this time. DH I'd say is more atheist at this point, I'm unsure. We had a very bad experience at our last church and haven't made the effort to find a new one.

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